Work Colleague...annoying!!

lufcgirl

At my job (been here for a few months) I'm one of only a few girls. I've made lots of friends and was mentored by a really lovely guy to help me do my job. When we were talking, I gave him my facebook and MSN address just out of politeness when discussing these, thinking we'd never really talk.

Now though, a few months down the line, it's getting terrible! I have to log into MSN as offline as EVERY time I go on he's on and tries to strike up a conversation. Same with facebook chat, I just don't go on there now. At work we have a chat programme and I'm constantly being messaged on that too. Now people at work think that I fancy him...which couldn't be further from the truth, and keep making jokes about it.

I'm trying to work out whether I'm just being too sensitive or if it really is annoying. My OH just thinks it's hilarious and tells me to ignore it, but I dunno, it's getting kinda stalker(y) now!

Does anyone have any advice on what I could say to get him to stop trying to talk to me constantly?!

alison999

Just block him, it'll just show you as offline, if he asks just say you've been too busy to log on, he's probably feeling lonely or thinks that you DO like him

lufcgirl

Because we work in a technical job, I have a feeling he'd know how to tell if someone has blocked him on MSN, making me feel worse! And the chat programme at work doesn't allow us to block people either and we have to be constantly logged on...

Only thing I can think of is that it's our Christmas party soon and my OH will be there, so going to make a big PDA or something!

beccam

Start using every 'chat' to talk about your OH, how lovely he is etc. Are you married or dating...if dating talk about how you really hope for a proposal at Christmas as you know this is the man of your dreams etc etc. If your married talk about how great life is, how you never even dreamed marriage could be so good.
I'm sure if you bring every convo back to your OH he'll get bored of hearing it soon!!!
If all else fails then lie and say your OH gets very jealous of you talking to other men and you really don't want to upset him so can he please stop!?

lilac_lady

Casually mention your OH's 2 previous prison terms for GBH.

lufcgirl

Hmmm good ideas! I may just tell him to cut it out. It was funny at first but is now really annoying, especially as I think he's the one starting the rumours I fancy him!

Minky2Slice

Just ignore? Simple as.
you may think its rude, but i've found that's the only thing that help sometimes. If they ask why you're not replying, simply say you were busy.

They might get the message, but in my experience some people dont get the hint/Dont ever give up!
Or you could take the direct approach? It can be hard because you dont want to hurt someone's feelings, but its got to be done. for their sake as well as yours

I had a similar experience at work, eventually my only option was the direct apporoach and i didnt wanna go down that route.

However it all came to an end when he asked me out for dinner and i politely declined giving him the reason that I am happy in my relationship and if i accepted his dinner invitation i would be giving him the wrong impression/get his hopes up.

All was fine after that, the 'stalking' stopped. We're good work-friends now but he keeps his distance.

beccam

lufcgirl wrote: »

Hmmm good ideas! I may just tell him to cut it out. It was funny at first but is now really annoying, especially as I think he's the one starting the rumours I fancy him!

Face up to him on it....say there are rumours circulating and that as you are fairly new and in a relationship this is the last thing you want or need and therefore you'd be very grateful if he could do everything in his power to stop the rumour mill and also stop with the 'chat' as it's giving a very bad impression. Make him know that you know he is involved in the rumours and you aren't happy.

pinkshoes

I'd be careful about telling him just to cut it out, as I was in the same situation recently and tried the same, and he then sent me a really horrible email, saying some nasty stuff! Water off a duck's back to me, as it just showed me what a tw*t this guy was (and thankfully he doesn't have my personal mail!).

Anyway, just ignore his emails, and if he asks why you're ignoring him, say you've been really busy and haven't had chance to read your personal emails yet. Ditto for MSN or facebook chat - just ignore him and pretend you haven't noticed his chat. He'll soon get bored and give up. As for the rumours, just laugh and say that you'd rather snog Wayne Rooney!

lufcgirl

pinkshoes wrote: »

I'd be careful about telling him just to cut it out, as I was in the same situation recently and tried the same, and he then sent me a really horrible email, saying some nasty stuff! Water off a duck's back to me, as it just showed me what a tw*t this guy was (and thankfully he doesn't have my personal mail!).

Thats what I'm scared of, because of it being such a small office and him being there a lot longer than me, I reckon people may start to start !!!!!ing behind my back about it all and getting e-mails and stuff.

pinkshoes

lufcgirl wrote: »

Thats what I'm scared of, because of it being such a small office and him being there a lot longer than me, I reckon people may start to start !!!!!ing behind my back about it all and getting e-mails and stuff.

Exactly! No point risking putting yourself in an awkward position!

I'd just start with ignoring him, not in a nasty way, but because you're "too busy" at work to reply to personal emails.

Try not to end up alone with him in any situation! I'm sure he'll get bored of you not responding and give up.