How much to charge 18 year old for board & lodge

Gingham_Ribbon

I'm sorry, I don't normally post on threads without reading them through first, but I wanted to put my opinion before dashing off so sorry if I'm repeating anything anyone has said.

If you can afford to keep her there regardless of how much is coming from her, I would consider the following.

Help her split her pay into the following, her board/digs money, spends and savings. She should not be allowed to dip into her savings. If she does, she should have to increase her board money. The savings should be for her to get her own place when she's ready.

I would work out carefully how much she should put into each pot, but my initial thought would be that it should be about a third each. (Depending on whether regular donations to charity are part of your family philosophy, that could be taken into account first, rather than asking her to pay it from her spends.)

I think that way, she learns that she can't just spend all her wage on fun things, that living as a grown up costs money and she has to learn to budget, and she can learn the value of saving while she has a chance to put a reasonable amount away ie before it gets eaten up by bills!

I would also not negotiate it depending on how much she thinks she 'needs' to spend, rather on how much you and she think she will need when she leaves home and how much she is using up at the moment in financial terms. Nothing to do with paying for your love, as mentioned earlier in the thread. Simply learing to manage money which is an essential life skill as we money savers all know!

freebie_junkie

Quincifer wrote:

Im 20 and I moved out when I was 18. When I lived at home and was working full-time I gave £25 a week board and I had to do my own ironing, make my lunch for work etc etc.
I never saved any of the money I earned (and have NO idea what I spent it on!) but wish I had now.
I rented my own flat at £250 per month (not counting bills) which is quite cheap for a 1 bed flat. I didn't have much to spare thanks to council tax and stuff but I enjoyed every minute! I could never move back home. Now living with my boyfriend and our friends so its cheaper. My debt is my own fault though, im just bad at managing money and buy things I dont need!!

its so much beter isnt it? and your relationships with your parents change for teh better too, coz they become more like mates who invite you for tea but you dont have to wash up! hehe! (my sis is 15 and gets really peeved that i dont have to wash up when i go round!)

i was in teh middle of my degree at 20 and i havent finished quite yet so money is pretty tight and i have to admit to being £300 over-drawn (intrest free student over-draft- but my bloke owes me most of that!) but i did decorate and fully furnish my flat so i reckon i did ok!

i think its the only way to fully become an adult, otherwise youre just a kid playing lets pretend, your mum might aswell put a nappy on you before you leave for work in teh morning!

UKJubilee_2

I know when I lived at home and was working, I impacted the Council Tax bill (lost single person allowance for my mum) so I paid her £30 a week + the extra I cost in council tax to her + my phone costs.

Seemed to work...and as others have said it's only fair...parents are not there for a free ride!!

onthemend

Thanks for all your feedback, it has been quite an interesting set of replies.

We have decided to charge a nominal amount of £20 per week, which includes our daughter doing her fair share of housework/own washing etc. We understand she will be bringing home about £100 a week. We have also advised that she puts £30 a week into a savings account, leaving £50 for spends etc.. (I would put more away but that caused a bit of friction!)

We had quite a discussion as you can imagine, but I think it put things into perspective of living costs when we showed her what our monthly outgoings are to run the house. I don't think any 18 year old really knows the true cost of living unless parents actually show them all the bills etc.

Unbeknown to her,we have also decided to put the money she pays to one side in a seperate account, to help her save for the future.

wellsie82

Now living back home with family and my boyfriend is living with me.

We pay £300 between us which we agreed to go halves on even thou i'm on less wage than him but it suits us fine.
Although we can cook our own meals we normally just eat what is given to us and our washing is done for us (mum's choice)

The money we give to mum/dad is being saved for us so when we move out and buy somewhere we will have a lump sum of money from my parents.

It's worked out fantastic :T

m00

wellsie82 wrote:

Now living back home with family and my boyfriend is living with me.

We pay £300 between us which we agreed to go halves on even thou i'm on less wage than him but it suits us fine.
Although we can cook our own meals we normally just eat what is given to us and our washing is done for us (mum's choice)

The money we give to mum/dad is being saved for us so when we move out and buy somewhere we will have a lump sum of money from my parents.

It's worked out fantastic :T

So what you are saying is that you dont actually pay board... No wonder its worked out fantastic! Free food, free board and no bills or washing.

sloppychops

wellsie82 wrote:

Now living back home with family and my boyfriend is living with me.

We pay £300 between us which we agreed to go halves on even thou i'm on less wage than him but it suits us fine.
Although we can cook our own meals we normally just eat what is given to us and our washing is done for us (mum's choice)

The money we give to mum/dad is being saved for us so when we move out and buy somewhere we will have a lump sum of money from my parents.

It's worked out fantastic :T

So basically your parents are keeping you and your boyfriend for nothing?
Not many parents could actually afford to do this for 1 person let alone 2.So i am assuming your parents must be well off money wise or theres no way they could do it(afford it).
I know i certainly couldnt,my son costs a fortune to keep so unlucky for him the money he gives for his board definetly wont be given back to him(not that he would ever expect it to be given back to him if or when he decides to move out).

hilstep2000

My daughter pays me £200 a month. She says it's a bargain, where could she live with everything paid for £50 a week.

chika

I'm 22 and I have just moved back to my mums after living alone and with friends whilst at uni etc.

I've just realised what a great woman my mum is. When I first moved back home she said that I didn't have to pay anything - I would have loved that but couldn't cope with the guilt/shame of being kept at my age. We sat down and had a bit of a chat where we agreed that I woudnt pay a set amount just contribute to the house. I moved back because I needed to save up to buy a house and she thankfully has recognised this and lets me decide what to do with my cash.

I help by cooking, doing bits of shopping, giving her and my younger siblings lifts. I'll give her cash and If I happen upon a bill then I'll ring up and pay it. I think this works out quite well. Mum has some of the financial and work burden taken off and I have a nice house with my own bathroom and cooked meals on a very flexible rate that I up and down to suit myself

For example, I'm going shopping in NY next month and I can just reduce the amount of hard cash I hand over but increase the amount of household chores that I do.

My friend still lives with her quite well off parents who insist that she hands over 40% of her wage every month. They refuse to take into account what other things she needs to pay for and they really don't need the money.

I think it is wrong to take such a large percentage of a persons wage especially as it is going towards things that they would have to pay for anyway. For example, her mum says that it goes towards heating the house - doesn't it cost the same however may people are there!? They even say that she has to pay for using their holiday home in spain, even though they have had it for over 10 years and it is fully paid for! How mean, some people keep their children down without realising it.

m00

chika wrote:

For example, I'm going shopping in NY next month and I can just reduce the amount of hard cash I hand over but increase the amount of household chores that I do.

My friend still lives with her quite well off parents who insist that she hands over 40% of her wage every month. They refuse to take into account what other things she needs to pay for and they really don't need the money.

I think it is wrong to take such a large percentage of a persons wage especially as it is going towards things that they would have to pay for anyway. For example, her mum says that it goes towards heating the house - doesn't it cost the same however may people are there!? They even say that she has to pay for using their holiday home in spain, even though they have had it for over 10 years and it is fully paid for! How mean, some people keep their children down without realising it.

Sorry I'm playing devils advocate here...

So is it mean of Landlords to charge you money for renting their houses? Or do Landlords even need the money?

Or is that shopping trip to NY a reasonable expectation of life at 22? I mean if your mum wasnt so kind as to reduce her take would you be able to afford it? Suggesting you help round the house is of no real benefit to her is it? I dare say suggest this to your landlord when you get one or your mortgage lender - hey I fancy a trip can I pay you less but cook and clean for you....

I think the gist of this thread suggests that kids these days have it too easy. Its not about whether you can afford to move out its what your expectations are.

Why are they keeping their kids down? Teaching them the value of money is no bad thing and certainly watching both my brother and my fiances sister take our parents for a free ride, really rankles with me... I wish someone would teach them the value of money.

Both are in their mid twenties, living at home with mummy and daddy, no rent to pay just their own disposable income - they both now have no concept of money and expect things to be paid for. How much do you think insuring a car costs? or council tax bill, never mind the electricty bills for going on the internet or having 'friends' stay over for dinner.....