How much to charge 18 year old for board & lodge

carol_a_3

My daughter is 19, she gives me £30 a week.

elaine373

black-saturn wrote:

It depends, if you ever want your daughter to be able to save up enough money to be able to buy her own house and stand on her own two feet in the future you should not go overboard with taking money off her. If you can afford to keep her yourself (which you have been doing up until now) you shouldnt be taking any money off her. Only when she gets a really well paid job should she start paying keep. Shes going to think she now has to pay for your love.

I dont think she will think she is paying for her parents love. It depends on how much she will be earning and i would personally sit her down and talk about what she thinks is fair etc.Part of our job as parents is to prepare our children for the outside world. No where is free there!

Sarahsaver

They have to pay their way, my kids know that when they are 18 it will be that way, and they are only at primary school now. I would say £30 is on the borderline of being extremely reasonable. They are an adult at age 18 and to continue to treat an adult as a child (dependent) does no one any favours. I have seen this in my own family with mum and sis.

freebie_junkie

dibdab wrote:

My son is 19 and we charge him £50 per week. OH and I think that's fair as does my son, let's face it all his meals are cooked, ironing & washing done, both his room and his bathroom are cleaned etc. Where could he live and receive those perks for £200 per month??

my fella gets all that done for him too- it well makes me laugh- hes 23 and a civil engineer!

i was doing all the washing and ironing for the family at 14 and cooking for myself! otherwise now that i live alsone i would be able to cope!

i keep trying to teach my fell stuff when he stays with me, btu sadly if hes ever left alone hell eat nowt but omlettes and take-away pizza and his clothes will we wrinkly and stinky! hehe!

freebie_junkie

elaine373 wrote:

I dont think she will think she is paying for her parents love. It depends on how much she will be earning and i would personally sit her down and talk about what she thinks is fair etc.Part of our job as parents is to prepare our children for the outside world. No where is free there!

i agree- if i hadnt been made homeless- if id stayed at home and lived for free id be up ship creek now, but as it is im very good at budgetign and at getting all teh little pots of money around to work for me.

Jenners

I have no children but I used to pay 20% of my wages when I lived at home.

I think that if a parent can afford to they should still take 20% as it gets the child into budgeting, but put the money in a separate account. Then when they want to spread their wings you will have helped them save up towards a deposit on their own place. Even if you can't afford to save it all, putting something by each week will help them in the long run.

freebie_junkie

do all parents do things like that for thier kids? i was brought up to believe it was greedy and immoral.

waterbaby

Jenners wrote:

I think that if a parent can afford to they should still take 20% as it gets the child into budgeting, but put the money in a separate account. Then when they want to spread their wings you will have helped them save up towards a deposit on their own place. Even if you can't afford to save it all, putting something by each week will help them in the long run.

I do agree but it needs to be done tactfully.

Demanding money and stating that it will be returned at some point (however true) is not a good way to go about it, because it takes control away from the 'child'. That is patronising for a person who is actually a young adult; you are saying that they are not capable of dealing with money.

If the parent wants a genuine contribution to household expenses, that is entirely reasonable, but if they don't, any 'saving' caried out by the parent should be agreed to by all concerned.

Of course, you could do as my mum did and say after a year that you have decided to give it back, I got some of my student loan paid off which was nice. I have no doubt that this was always her intention!

My friend, on the other hand, was told that she must pay board, but she would get it all back when she bought a house, so they were helping her to build a deposit. That was annoying and degrading for her - she could build her own deposit.

waterbaby

black-saturn wrote:

It depends, if you ever want your daughter to be able to save up enough money to be able to buy her own house and stand on her own two feet in the future you should not go overboard with taking money off her. If you can afford to keep her yourself (which you have been doing up until now) you shouldnt be taking any money off her.

I agree with the first sentence, but not the second. When I lived at home and began work I saw no reason why I should get everything for free, and definitely not from my parents, they had given me so much already, and so much more than money.

Free board would have been nice, but it would always be nice wherever I lived. I would have felt like I was taking advantage.

I guess its all down to family dynamics. But paying board added to my feeling of growing independence, so I am pleased I did.

MooseRich

I pay 20% and it doesn't get saved for me. I've been paying this amount this I was 15 and doing 2 part-time jobs. I would've liked that at least some had been put aside for me, for when I'm where I am now, older and wiser. It would be nice to say to your child when they want their own place and building a deposit 'here, I've saved this for you'.