Buying a house in my name - but girlfriend will be living with me.

Bossyboots

Suzi.Q wrote:

I know that if she will be on the mortgage then you can choose to be tenants-in-law or tenants-in-common. I don't know which way round it is, but one gives you a 50/50 share regardless of who put what into the deposit, and the other protects your initial deposit better if you're putting more in.

I think you need to talk to your girlfriend, think about what you both want, and get some legal advice.

It is being on the deeds that is relevant to how the property is held, not the mortgage. It is tenants-in-common or joint tenants. Neither gives you a 50/50 share or protects your deposit. With tenants in common, if one dies their share is their own to be dispersed as they have willed it or dealt with under intestacy rules. This does not define it as 50%. It can still be a smaller share either a percentage pre-agreed or it would have to be argued out at the time if there are grounds for it being a lesser sum. With joint tenants, if one dies then their share passes to the other owner as of right and does not form part of the deceased's estate.

On a legal agreement will protect the initial deposit in the early years of the relationship without there being potentially protracted legal arguments subsequently.

The advice spendless received is correct, that each case is judged on its merits. It is better and cheaper to have things sorted before undertaking the commitment, rather than try to argue about it later.

WiseInvestor_2

Ember999 wrote:

the night before we got married! I informed him that I'd clean him out if ever he did the dirty on me and I would still even after 18 years of marriage

With threats like this, is it any wonder OP wants to know where he stands before digging himself a hole he can't get out of? I wouldn't be surprised if he starts squirreling cash into all sorts of places just in case the worst happens - in fact, I know lots of men who do exactly that! You are right that new relationships should be flushed with optimism but he has to protect himself and his investments.


Dean,
Remember that this woman could, one day, be the mother of your children so treat her with respect and don't let her go just because you have differing opinions on money matters. It may even be sensible to do the calculations without her income to make sure the bills can still be paid if/when she stops working. At that point, her contribution will be to your family and the question of 'rights' will hopefully disappear.

Good Luck

irnbru_2

Suzi.Q wrote:

I believe (not know!) that if you ask her to pay rent to you she is effectively paying towards the mortgage, and if you split up she would have a right to some money back.

If your paying rent then your .... err ...... paying rent

The OP, or anyone in that situation, would use a rent book on purpose to show it's a rental not mortgage payment.

Interest-Ed

You stirred up a few hornets here Dean but its all been good advice. If its a relationship you want then there's obviously a financial and also an emotional cost involved which will grow the longer the relationship lasts.

5 or 10 years time could you say "it's my house" if your girlfriend has contributed physically and emotionally to it. You couldn't sling her out (complete with children!).

Perhaps a contract is what you need and also seperate and joint bank accounts for own monies and shared bills. Have a good, long chat before you even embark on anything together. Good luck

A_LANCASHIRE_LAD_2

My wife worked in family law for a while, & agrees along with other postings that your GF would be entitled to some share depending on her contribution (either financially or as a home-maker) if you're really worried about your GF should you really be moving in with her???? best advice: get something like a pre-nupt signed up with her to be sure.

johna999

Lets look at it another way.

In the spirit of fairness. If you let her live in your house rent free, not contributing to any bills and hence saving a lot of money, would you be entitled to a percentage of her savings if you broke up? Evidently if this wasn't the scenario and she rented privately she wouldn't have as much disposable cash. Thought not.


I'm looking to buy a house. Over the years I have saved a lot of money. During this time I had to make many sacrifices whilst still contributing to a pension etc. Many of my friends/ex girlfriends wanted to live for the moment. I would do everything I could not to put it at risk. Why should someone take something they haven't contributed to? I would view that as stealing. She isn't taking on any of the risks of buying a house or the sacrifices you have had to make.


My understanding from similar threads that Solicitors have contributed, is to issue a rent book and record bills and their split. This way she would not be entitled to anything as she is a lodger. There is no such thing as a common law wife or entitlement through relationships unless you do a 'civil partnership'. Be careful though about home improvements, if she can prove she has made these ie painting etc then she maybe entitled to something though it is likely to be small.


And I would ignore the whole 'little women looking after you argument why should she pay to do that'. I suspect you would be looking after each other equally, like most relationships And she wouldn't pay as much to the upkeep as she would in her own place or renting privately.

You are doing the right thing. Best of Luck. :beer:

Suzi.Q_3

irnbru wrote:

If your paying rent then your .... err ...... paying rent

The OP, or anyone in that situation, would use a rent book on purpose to show it's a rental not mortgage payment.

Fair point, except I'm not convinced that any boyfriend/girlfriend would whip out a rent book on their partner. I suspect it would be more of an informal arrangemet. If they did use a rent book it would clarify it as rent, if not then it could be taken as a payment towards mortgage. Apologies for not being clearer.

Suzi.Q_3

Bossyboots wrote:

It is being on the deeds that is relevant to how the property is held, not the mortgage. It is tenants-in-common or joint tenants. Neither gives you a 50/50 share or protects your deposit. With tenants in common, if one dies their share is their own to be dispersed as they have willed it or dealt with under intestacy rules. This does not define it as 50%. It can still be a smaller share either a percentage pre-agreed or it would have to be argued out at the time if there are grounds for it being a lesser sum. With joint tenants, if one dies then their share passes to the other owner as of right and does not form part of the deceased's estate.

On a legal agreement will protect the initial deposit in the early years of the relationship without there being potentially protracted legal arguments subsequently.

The advice spendless received is correct, that each case is judged on its merits. It is better and cheaper to have things sorted before undertaking the commitment, rather than try to argue about it later.

Again apologies, this is what I have been told by friend who has just bought a property with her boyfriend.

Doctor_Mick

Just face it mate - she'll end up with the lot one day. Enjoy your time together before it all goes sour. There's nowt you can do about it now except perhaps start thinking about starting a secret nest egg.

Ember999

I have read all these posts with interest, you all raise many good points, most of them are good advice, from us all, that includes me. Everyone has different opinions as to the way to do things nowadays and all I can say at the end of this debate is I am very glad to be settled in my life and well married for 18 years. When I met guys, way back when I was single, you met, fell in love, he bought you a diamond ring, you got a deposit together, got married and bought a house. It was way simpler and in my opinion more natural. I agree you all have to 'protect' yourself if you feel the need, but find it rather sad that this country and it's people have to behave like this nowadays. Does everyone on here just think about money, who's gonna get what, who has earned what and automatically feel the need to prepare for breaking up? With attitudes like these is it any wonder one in three marriages end up in divorce.