A friend in need. Apparently.

MrsPitcher2b

Hello everyone

I just wanted to sort of vent my anger somewhere.. I am getting so wound up by someone i work with. She is a lovely lady but recently my opinion seems to be changing.

She has always struggled with money, and i always felt really bad for her having to get by on her own as her husband left her (about 10 years ago mind you but still i would not be able to cope with a mortgage on my own) I thought her mortgage was like 800 a month, its not - have since learned its £250 a month, and her son pays her £300 a month rent anyway. I know that doesnt include food/bills/water etc but still she is basically getting her mortgage paid for her there.

Now she pleads poverty alot, and has been overdrawn by alot so ended up getting a loan from work. She also got an insurance pay out thing, of only 700 quid but still its alot. And today she is back overdrawn??

And i started thinking well where does her money go. She is on more money than me ( by 5 grand) and eats out for lunch 3 days a week. I wish i could afford the place they eat at!! I end up staying in because i know its a waste of money, and if i was in that bad debt how she claims to be, then that would be the first thing to cut down on?!

She drinks wine - a bottle a night, well thats not cheap. but i know its hard to quit so fair enough. But trhen she said today oh im taking my son out to this restaurant up in docklands for a treat - Well thats not gonna be cheap is it?!! I just think everything she spends her money on is such a waste, and yet she pleads poverty...

I know you have to have your LBM before you realise whats happening, but even before my LBM, i stopped drinking and didnt eat out because after the minimum payments i had just enough to live on!!

I dont mean to offend anyone but its just got on me nerves...

Maybe i should introduce her to MSE

PasturesNew

A lot of people who plead poverty are just wasting their money on fripperies. It annoys me too.

They won't see that their endless shopping, eating out, drinking wine, means things are tight.

What annoys me as much is those people who have a lot of money who call you tight, when you won't go and do something expensive with them. Many people seem to have two mindsets: everybody has at least as much as me, everybody has more than me. So they're either calling you tight (when you don't have their income/disposable income and genuinely can't afford it), or trying to keep up with the Jones' and moaning when they can't.

sammy115

Interesting discussion... I have long ago stopped listening to people who say they have no money... its all relative...

I know people who have borrowed money off other people because they are broke and then be spotted eating out at a restaraunt...:mad:

I may be in debt but I am not broke, I spend my money. I no longer spend other peoples money (ie credit cards).

One tip is not to worry about other people and what they are doing with their money - concentrate on your own and just be thankful that we found this site and we are on the right track...

paybacktime2008

I too have a friend who is permanently 'skint' Yet she goes out every weekend, new electronic gadgets appear, as do new clothes. She is in arrears with mortgage and utilities. I have had to have a long hard think about whether she is the type of person I wish to have as a friend. (I have helped her out on numerous occasions) She knows now that her tales of woe fall on deaf ears now and actually now I'm not listening to them I find we have very little in common. A shame, but sometimes you have to shut your ears to people who drain your own positivity.

edinburgher

Try not to get upset - we all know people like that!

It's possible that she's in denial. For example, my elder brother used to take a taxi to and from work five times a week despite the fact that he was £13k in the hole.

She'll wise up eventually.

shopaholictiedtheknot

I have a friend who is totally skint and can hardly afford to pay her bills but her OH will spend between £50 and £80 a week on weed:eek: I have stopped sympathising with her - some people just have their priorities all wrong!!

edinburgher

shopaholictiedtheknot wrote: »

I have a friend who is totally skint and can hardly afford to pay her bills but her OH will spend between £50 and £80 a week on weed:eek: I have stopped sympathising with her - some people just have their priorities all wrong!!

Unless things are so different in the world of ill-advised illegal activities since I was a student, her OH is an addict. I don't have so much sympathy myself, but it is a disease:eek:

mcjordi

yeah i know people like this lol

they call me tight - but i am permenantley skint after the bills are paid - i might have new years eve out but even thats looking very unlikely lol
i used to waste money all the time and have nothing to show for it - well nearly £10k in debt until i showed up on here and wised up

SingleSue

My mum is a good one for this....she will moan about being brassic but her idea of being brassic is having less than 10k in the bank! On the good side, she doesn't waste money and she makes an excellent bank as she refuses to give it back to you easily just in case you don't really need it all!

When I get down to my last pennies in my purse, the kids always ask if I am bankrupt (as I tell them "No, you can't have that sweet, I only have a few pence"), I have to explain that no, I am a little short on pennies but I am not bankrupt.....and even when that happens, I don't class myself as broke.

sarahs999

Someone here at work is like this. If i hear her say 'I'm SOOO broke' on the phone one more time... and yet she goes out to London's smartest clubs and bars four nights a week, buys only designer gear, livesi nt he most expensive part of London - a prime example of the deluded youth that are so debt ridden in this country, you might think, but she's 53!

Sharon87

One of my friend's from school is always saying she's broke as well, but she does have major shopping sprees! She got a New Look card once, spent loads, realised 'oh crap', paid it off and she doesn't ever want to borrow money again though.

She's in 3rd year at uni, lives with her parents (doesn't pay rent/bills), I think she still gets money off her dad (who lives far away), has a job, and yet she's saying she's always skint! I've tried to make her realise in the real world of rent and bills you can't chuck money away on clothes and haircuts like she does.

I personally don't like being skint and in debt, but that was because I spent too much money, but I never said I was skint (until the few weeks before my student loan came though!). Although when I'm skint I still like the occassional treat, a meal here, some nice ice cream there lol. But never spend much.