Is this housemate being fair?

windra

About a month and a half ago(maybe more) a work friend of my bf's moved into our spare room because he split up with his gf.

He was supposed to stay for a couple of weeks and my bf told him he didnt have to pay anything and he could help him self to food.
After a few weeks he was still here so i asked my bf to ask his friend to pay towards the bills if he stayed any longer, which i thought was fair.

At this point his friend told me he would buy his own food and asked me to clear a cubourd for him...which i did. However apart from buying bread and milk when it runs out, he is still eating our food every other night, albeit the cheaper stuff like sandwhiches and sausages.

After a month he had not given me anything to help with bills and i had to put the hot water heater on just because he wanted hot water in the morning, i turned this off as i wasnt prepaired to pay for it, and my bf refused to ask him again for money and said i had to do it.

I really did not want to ask sum1 i didn't know for money, but eventually he gave me £50, which i wasnt too pleased with.


Now he is in the process of getting a flat but he is still here, my bf and i are very tight on money at the moment, as i am a student and he is in debt. Our freezer is almost empty because i cant aford to do another shop until next week, so it REALLY annoyed me when i mentioned to my bf in front of his friend that the freezer was getting empty so we would have to live off sausages for the rest of the week, to which the friend anounces 'ooh there are sausages? I'll have a sausage sandwich for dinner then'.

Now i know my bf said he could help himself to food when he moved in, but as far as i can see the only food his friend has bought is takeaway,butter,bread and milk.

His friend earns the same as my bf, but when i mention money my bf tells me his friend does not have any money, yet he goes out most nights.

His friend did say last night offhand when i said i had no money 'thats okay ill give you some money next week like £80 or something'...

Is he taking advantage or am i just being petty?

mspig

Hes taking advantage and it sounds like your boyfriend is enjoying having a mate there otherwise he would of asked for money or told him to leave.

If it were me i would tell my boyfriend that he either gets the mate to pay up and stop using other peoples food and that he has X number of weeks to find somewhere else as in x number of weeks he will have to leave, or that you are prepared to leave and leave him and his mate to each other.

not only will you hopefully get the situation sorted but if he declines then you know how he feels about your relationship.

[Deleted User]

Tell your boyfriend to grow some balls and deal with it; this is his mess to sort out

hot.chick

Why don't you have a talk around the table all 3 of you?

You live there as well - I wouldn't leave it to my other half to say anything - Id deal with it myself.

Men are rubbish at things like this.

Jo_R_2

Absolutely the friend is taking advantage. Totally agree with both mspig and ringo - get your boyfriend to have words. He offered the room so it's his problem to sort out - I'd be inclined to ask your bf about if his mate's going to bill him for food once he's moved into his flat seeing as he seems to like paying for him so much, but that's just me

When a student, one of my housemates had two friends stay over. Initially it was meant to be a very temporary arrangement but they ended up staying the whole summer holidays, and never contributed a penny. They did buy their own food, but we never got any extra towards bills, and what really wound me up was when I came back from work after lunch (used to do earlies), they'd just be getting up, showering and using up all the hot water. And I had to wait until the visitors had finished until I could get a shower - which was inevitably cold!

Me and my other housemate used to moan to each other but never said anything directly - however if it were me now I'd just say to whoever myself, cough up £20 because you've eaten our food... Have you thought about approaching him directly rather than making comments? Failing that you could always put locks on the cupboard and fridge doors

Errata

Nah - he's not taking advantage, he's taking the pi$$. Throw him out.

angeleyes19

This Guys Takin Da Micky If Your Bf Not Going To Do Anything (and Lets Face It Hes A Man So He Wont) Then Youll Have To Tell Him That As He Wanted To Stay You Want X Amount Of Money For Every Week Hes Stayed And That Amount Every Week Till He Goes And Be Firm No Money No Room And If He Goes There Aint Much You Can Do Bout Back Dated Monnies but you'll be free from him

ben500

I think you should remember the old proverb:
A friend in need......................












































Is a fvcking pest! Get shot of him.

Dill

windra wrote: »

Our freezer is almost empty because i cant aford to do another shop until next week, so it REALLY annoyed me when i mentioned to my bf in front of his friend that the freezer was getting empty so we would have to live off sausages for the rest of the week, to which the friend anounces 'ooh there are sausages? I'll have a sausage sandwich for dinner then'.

:eek: :eek: Blimey, talk about give someone your hand and they take the whole arm!

I guess your OH doesn't want any hard feelings to arise if he's got to work with the guy but I too would be very peed off in your position.

It sounds like what was an easygoing arrangement is now starting to cause resentment (understandably!) so you both really need to talk to this guy and get a few things clear. How much longer is he thinking of staying?

I hope one day he returns the favour. Maybe when he gets his new place you could both descend on him for a nice slap-up meal or two

squidge60

um yesterday i HAD to say something to my neighbour didnt want to but it was xissing me off so i said it think you are going to have to do the same ......

boombap

From the sounds of it you're not being petty and your fella's mate is a total scrounger!

One word of warning for when you discuss things with you're boyfriend - be very, very careful that what you say to you're fella doesn't come out like some sort of ultimatum as it could backfire terribly.

Good luck!

S.