Panicking because my partner has lost his job

EmmieT_2

I'm 26 (very shortly 27) and recently engaged to my boyfriend, who I have lived with for over 5 years. We have both been in London for about 8 years - having originally come for university. We had a few years of student finance recklessness (too much boozing!) independently and then together, but around 2005 it started to bite us in the bum, and we've been skint since then - endlessly pouring money into debt and scrabbling round for funds to live on. The major problem has been that my partner has been studying for quite some time, so I have been the only one making a wage. He had to repeat some of his Law degree and then decided to go on and do a Masters - which seemed like a sensible option because his career aim was to work in the construction industry, and of course 2 years ago the industry was booming and the future looked bright. Meanwhile, I have done relatively well, and am working in my dream industry - but unfortunately its not the best paying industry (publishing). With a little help from both sets of parents, and a move into his parents house (I commuted 5 hrs a day to get to the office), I managed to support us through his Masters which he completed this Summer. He lined a job up in the relevant industry, which he started as soon as he finished his studies in September.

Since then, finances have still been tight over the last couple of months - even with both of us earning, but we had enough to keep paying off a fair amount of debt, and survive - but certainly not enough to have any fun with. We have really tried to be sensible with debt/bills recently. We'd just decided that as soon as our lease expires on our 1 bed flat (May), that we'd get a room in a flat share, so that we could free up some more income to put away into savings. There was light appearing at the end of the tunnel. AND THEN, yesterday, his new firm announced that they are having severe problems, and were letting him go. He is being paid up until the end of the week but then we are back to one wage. I am in such a panic. We are contracted to our flat for another 7-8 months and after mid December we won't have enough money to pay the rent. I can't cope with this anymore. We can't ask our parents for help again - we've had way more than our fair share, and they are having problems themselves too. We don't have a penny in savings. We are tied to the flat contract, so its not like we can just move back in with his parents, or find a flat share now. I'm so scared, I just feel like handing my notice in at work, and fleeing London to live with my parents, so that living expenses aren't so huge. But I know thats not sensible.

My boyfriend has been out today trying to find a job, and I keep telling myself he'll be able to get something to tide us over until a better job in his industry comes up - but we need him to be earning £1100 a month to keep our heads above water with rent/bills/debt/travel costs - never mind having money to spend on food.

I just don't think I can cope with this anymore. I know that we deserve it because we were reckless for a few years as students, but it feels like I have been scrimping for so long, and I hate resenting him because he hasn't been earning, and I am really worried about how this is affecting him. I know he has done all he can. I just feel so desperately panicky, and every time I speak to friends (lots of them are high earners), they say "Oh well, you'll just have to have a quiet Christmas" Like thats going to make a difference. We are so stuck in this crap situation, and I don't know what to do. I am so scared about the next couple of months.

Does anyone have any advice about benefits we could claim, or freezing debt repayments/getting out of mobile contracts/tenancy contracts etc? It would be really appreciated. Sorry for the long rant! Thank you if you made it to the end.

jacksons_mum

why cant your partner get another job? supermarkets, shops, restaurants all need staff at this time of year

pboae

EmmieT wrote: »

My boyfriend has been out today trying to find a job, and I keep telling myself he'll be able to get something to tide us over until a better job in his industry comes up - but we need him to be earning £1100 a month to keep our heads above water with rent/bills/debt/travel costs - never mind having money to spend on food.

jacksons_mum wrote: »

why cant your partner get another job? supermarkets, shops, restaurants all need staff at this time of year

She said he's looking, I don't know what the job market is like in London, but up here hardly anywhere is recruiting for Christmas staff.

EmmieT, you'd be better posting on the Debt Free Wanabee part of the site http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=76 they'll be able to help you better.

jacksons_mum

i know that i dont know what the job market is like in london (im in lancashire) but the restaurant i work in is crying out for staff. im sure someone with a masters degree will be able to find some sort of job no matter how bad it is it has to better than getting into more debt, losing his flat, putting all this strain on his partner and having her consider giving up her dream job and moving back in with her parents.

Mutter_2

Poor Emmie, you sound in despair.
£1100 pm is doable in London but it will mean long hours perhaps.
First look here if you haven't already http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/jcp/index.html

Second, get into staff agencies with a c.v. If he has to spend an hour in each, it's time well spent as they'll have many jobs on their books.

Have you thought of doing some temporary work together, bar work for instance.?

whitewing

Try www.entitledto.co.uk (you may be able to get tax credits???)

Mutter_2

jacksons_mum wrote: »

i know that i dont know what the job market is like in london (im in lancashire) but the restaurant i work in is crying out for staff. im sure someone with a masters degree will be able to find some sort of job no matter how bad it is it has to better than getting into more debt, losing his flat, putting all this strain on his partner and having her consider giving up her dream job and moving back in with her parents.

Quite honestly, finding temp work in London at Christmas should be a doddle.
If it were me I would start at one end of Regent or Oxford St and work down it.
I'd be astounded if I didnt have a job at the end of it.
No need too wear the leather even, nearly all stores are on line. Christmas temps through to Graduate.

belfastgirl23

Ok first things first, try to calm down. Yes it is horrible news but you have survived on one wage before and you will survive again. Everyone is still alive and healthy. I know it can seem like cold comfort but you could be facing much worse things.

Second, your OH needs to get another job. Fast. Temping. Shop work. Restaurant. Whatever. He just needs to get working again. Partly because you need the money, partly because it would be very easy to get depressed and give up. And you have to find the strength to motivate him to do this. You need to be positive and practical. Tell him you've had rotten luck but that he's smart and qualified and any employer would be lucky to have him. And get him filling in forms. I know that puts a burden on you but honestly it's better to be active in these situations anyway.

In your shoes behind the scenes I would also be considering alternatives just in case (though I'm a compulsive security person so bear that it mind). I'd be asking CAB whether you could get out of the lease given that you can no longer afford to pay it. Also looking round for extra work yourself even for a few months over Xmas. And checking for possible ebays/babysitting etc. Every few quid helps.

But most of all have faith you'll get through this, it's bad luck but you're both alive and strong and healthy and there's nothing you can't beat together! In five years time you'll probably look back and roll your eyes and be grateful that you made it through the tough times. Hold onto this.

Errata

Bad news for the OP, but the silver lining is that there are lots of jobs in London waiting to be filled and the OP can also look into finding a second job to get them both through this bad patch.

Lynn11

As soon as your partner is made redundant I would phone for jobseekers allowance at least which is £60.50 which I am claiming at the moment, since my husband makes a decent wage at the moment and we have savings. Your partner maybe lucky that he will get more. If you phone to apply, the first 3 days do not count so the sooner you do this the better until your partner is able to find a job. I was made redundant end September and waiting for job offer to come through - it took at least 3 months for me to find a job which is still fewer hours and lower wages but at least its a job when I get the paperwork through. My husband works in the housing industry also and was advised in july that there were going to be redundancies throughout, he was kept on but still now thinks that there will be more - he thinks this will happen at the end of this year - we will see. We doing everything we can at the moment, putting as much away in case we have to use it and hopefully by that time I will be in my part-time job. He has started to apply for new jobs, but the money is not great for many jobs being advertised. Time will tell but you will get through. Your partner should up-date his CV, register with agencies, look at papers, big company websites for current job vacancies and also job hunting website. Good luck and try not to panic as you will come out of this stronger.

Penelope_Penguin

EmmieT wrote: »

Does anyone have any advice about benefits we could claim, or freezing debt repayments/getting out of mobile contracts/tenancy contracts etc? It would be really appreciated. Sorry for the long rant! Thank you if you made it to the end.

Sorry to hear about your partner's job. I don't think you'll be entitled to any benefits. You won't get tax credits (unless you have disabilities) and he won't get contribution based Job Seekers as he hasn't paid enough NI contributions.

CAB may be able to assist with your contracts. Best of luck.