It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

Frugalista

Well, OH has been made redundant yet again (3rd time since January '09) :(:(:(:(. Surely things will start to pick up again soon - I am just so worn out with it all!! :(:(

Toomuchdebt

Oh Frugalista I am so sorry-that must be so hard to deal with {{{hugs}}}

jamanda

Sorry for your news Frugalista. Sometimes it seems neverending.

ginnyknit

Sorry to hear that Frugalista, I hated it when it happened to me and Dh but 3 times is lousy. Anyway keep up with the money saving and we will all be here for you

Rummer

Frugalista so sorry to hear the news, what industry does your OH work in? Remember we are here if you need us.

sammy_kaye18

Morning All

kylebrad, unlucky T, slow and steady, Lindy Loo - I don't believe we've met before so a big HELLO from me and welcome to the thread. I look forward to getting to know you all. Its always nice to extend our little MSE OS family and I agree OS is the best and friendliest board in my opinion too

slowandsteady - hope your feeling better soon and that your sickness doesn't keep you off work too much longer. x

unlucky T - I agree with it being hard to deal with the nearest and dearest - my mother is in a financial dilema at the minute thanks to her partner/ex partner who basically would not lower his standards to be on job seekers allowance after he lost his job so it meant her paying and working for everything :mad: I dont live near enough that I can really help her out but I do make sure shes fed with a nice lunch and she usually leaves with a bag of discounted shopping I get from work (a la coop:D) so even though it might be reduced ham/bread rolls/tins of reduced sauces/fruit/veg at least i know she can make a meal somehow and I always pick up meat that it reduced so I can give her a pack or two as well. My sister however is exactly the same as what Charlies Aunt described - if i lend her money i never see it back and then im asked again a few months later. She has two small daughters who I always want to help out for them but she has no sense when it comes to money and is always falling out with my father who wont bail her out whereas my mother does which doesn't help her finances - its a vicious cycle and Im just hoping she learns to stand on her own two feet soon. Stay strong and focus on you and yours. x


Frugalista - Im so sorry to hear about the OHs redundancy. We are currently facing that at the minute with my OH basically he delivers courtesy cars for insurance companies and at the minute they are struggling to find work to keep everyone on. Fingers crossed that something comes your partners way soon and we are all here if you need a whinge/whine etc. x

Speaking of OH's - its a good job mine was out of the house before i got up this morning. My nesting urge is kicking in at he minute so Ive already got a load of washing on, cleaned the hallway and done dishes and had a cuppa and Ive been up half an hour but in the process of moving soem magazines away I found a nice stack :eek: of red letters :mad::mad::mad::mad: turns out that his pay has been so up and down lately that its been a case of pay what he can on various things and try to fix it later! :mad::mad::mad: so from what I can gather we are

rent - about £200
water - about £80
gas - £429! :eek:
electric - £220
my mobile - which i knew about - £100 owing - and has been cut off
catalogue debt - £200
dentist - £90

why is it men never think to tell you these things! and the stupid thing is from that list I give him monthly payments for 6 of them so why hasn't it been paid!! Oh it annoys me! Must relax.............and breathe..................

Also found out last night - and its been annoying me all night that my darling :mad: sister has given up custody of her youngest daughter to the father. Apparently he was fed up of her going to see him and her being infested with head lice every time. So he basically said he was keeping her and my sister didn't even put up an argument! So now she has one of her daughters and she is planning to join the Army in a month or so's time. She has just had her interview and now has the test in a week. So my niece is going to be living between my mother and auntie if she is accepted. :eek: cant seem to get it through my head how she can just up and leave both her children! and my sister is the type who would come home on leave, see her girls for maybe a day or two but would rather be out drinking/catching up with friends than the domestic type. It would be a cold day in hell before anyone could make me leave Ben or Bump! Absolutely gutted for my niece though as she's only 4 and has a very unsettled upbringing as it is - told OH that I wish we could take her in and keep her here for good but realistically with his job in the balance, we already have two boys and little girl on the way and we are in a two bedroomed flat so its not physically possible at the minute. Breaks my heart though.


On another note slightly calmer note - I have to ring the bank today - H*lif*x saw it fit to take £98 worth of charges from my account so think i will be having a word today about possibly getting them refunded as its them who keep putting me over my arranged overdraft or closing all accounts and moving them to Nationwide and then paying off the overdraft gradually with H before destroying the card. I don't have an overdraft with Nationwide so think I will feel more comfortable with my savings there and more in control of them somewhat! Just means rearranging how I make some payments but I can do DD on the nationwide card but its not chip and pin so should help save some money too!

Anyway...........hope all you lovely MSErs are ok this morning and plenty of hugs for those who need them.

think another cup of tea is in order!

ceridwen

sammy_kaye18 wrote: »

Toomuchdebt - firstly welcome to the thread, everyone here is lovely and Im sure you'll enjoy it. There are lots of money saving ideas for everything flitting about. Secondly sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Like you I'm also fighting a huge gas/electric debt and my OH insists that the rent money goes short if something 'pops' up so am slightly in debt with that too. :mad: plus my next bundle is due July 1st so not even much I can do about it like extra shifts etc but you can only do so much. x

.

...and he's still alive to tell the tale?;):cool:


If he's so irresponsible - then might it be worth your while to get the rent payments put onto some sort of standing order/direct debit. That way - they would come out of the bank FIRST each month before your OH gets his hands on the money for anything else.

If OH still insists on spending - even when there literally isnt any money there to spend ( ie would take the bank account into overdraft to access money for spending) - then it would be wise to go behind his back and swop the bank account over to a "Basic Bank Account" with another bank - and then the bank would not allow an overdraft.

So - short of giving him the "boot up the backside" I personally would do in those circumstances (but then - thats me:D) - I think you need to be a bit devious with him to ensure that necessities get dealt with first. This will be even more important with another mouth to feed soon with you.

Good luck with OH.

sammy_kaye18

ceridwen wrote: »

...and he's still alive to tell the tale?;):cool:

If OH still insists on spending - even when there literally isnt any money there to spend ( ie would take the bank account into overdraft to access money for spending) - then it would be wise to go behind his back and swop the bank account over to a "Basic Bank Account" with another bank - and then the bank would not allow an overdraft.

Good luck with OH.

Morning Ceridwen! Long time no type! Hope things are good with you.

I have changed his bank account over so he has a basic bank account which he does seem to be going ok with and seems to have learnt that if he spends too much then he gets charges which messes up the payments for things. His job is mainly to blame as well though as he's use to bringing at least £800 home and with the work simply not being there his wages are dropping so cant completely blame his spending.

He has admitted though that the work colleague he is usually delivering with has a tendency to use fast food restaurants for 95% of his meals so he has been eating there or at road side cafe's a fair bit (ie he leaves fro work at 6am and isnt home until 5sh so breakfast and dinner 6 days a week! :eek::eek::eek::eek:) - other than that he buys the occasional magazine (I mean possibly once a month if that) so he's spending it on crappy junk food I think - soon to be remedied though as I'm getting back in my baking swing at the minute.

Also looking to join the credit union that runs from the local post office so I can get some savings together and have a fall back reserve should things go b**bs up with his job but its in my name so he's not allowed near it!

taplady

morning!

frugalista - ((((hugs))) am so sorry about your DHs job, poor chap has taken some knocks in the last year x

Sammy - I think you've been very restrained after finding those letters:T
My DH used to do this to me, not pay things I'd given him the money for etc so I took over all the finances completely and just gave him some weekly 'pocket money' which both of us were relieved about. I'm a much better manager of our money than he was.
You could do without all this worry in your condition.
The credit union sounds like an excellent idea:T

Toomuchdebt

I pay all the household bills here too-OH pays his own phone, car insurance etc as to be perfectly honest I don't care one little bit if he pays those or not.But I do care if the rent gets paid , the gas, water etc.So I do it all.Funnily enough I haven't had any bank charges for 3 years, whereas he is constantly getting them.