From bad to worse

BJL

I was struggling to pay my debts, and now to make things worse, my partner lost his job 2 weeks ago. I just don't know how we are going to cope. My partner does'nt know that i am in so much debt, and i am ashamed to tell him. I gave up work 4 years ago when we had our son and my debts have been increasing ever since. I could just about manage to keep up repayments when my partner was working but there was no money left for treats. We are both looking for jobs now, but i just don't know what we are going to do until then, I feel so depressed and can't sleep at night with the worry of it.
My debts are about £10 thousand.

annie-c

Hello BJL, well it's a miserable time of year to be feeling as bad as you do, but you've come to the right place.

I'm newish to the site too, but others will be along soon with advice.

In the meantime, have you looked at these websites for help and advice..

http://www.cccs.co.uk/

http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/cabdir.ihtml

kathfisch

Hiya
I'm only new to posting but have been reading for some time and I know that there are people on here who can offer some really good advice and support to you. They usually ask for details of your debts (cards, banks, loans etc) and what incomings/outgoings you have, so as to be able to give meaningful suggestions. Maybe you could put together that list until someone comes along who can help much more than I can!! To echo #2, you've come to the right place!

mort58

Hi BJL

Been there,done it and got the T-shirt.......

From experience I can tell you the following:

1. TELL YOUR PARTNER NOW! You cant hide it for ever and you'll feel an awful lot better having been honest and told him.

2. Get help,contact the CCCS as soon as possible,you will kick yourself for not having done it before!

3. £10,000 might seem like an awful lot of money, but the reality is its not alot nowdays compared to alot of peoples debt problems.

The important thing is to face up to it and actually do something about it.....

Little_Miss_Winner

HI,

The first thing you must do is tell you partner, what's done is done (debt wise). And you MUST tell him.

The second thing is make a list of your debtors, and ring them TODAY.

You say your partner lost his job 2 weeks ago. Why haven't you told him before? and you really need to ring your debtors and explain today.

If you can make a list of all your outgoings, and post it on here. Then there may be ways you can cut back in the meantime.

I know it's hard at anytime of the year, but at Christmas is especially depressing.

You will feel a lot better, by telling your OH NOW, and between you, you can do the nesseccarries to stop any more debt accumalating (sp).

Keep posting, you have come to the bect place!

Hugs
pot
xx

1313

I would suggest that you write to all your creditors and tell them of your situation. Do not stop paying them, but do pay them a very much reduced rate to show willing.

As for telling your partner, this is really a must! You never know they too may have problems and besides sharing yours could just help lighten that load.

Fran

I agree with telling your partner, then you can share working it out. Once you have spoken to CCCS or Citizens Advice etc. you will feel much better too. :rudolf:

southernscouser

Hi BJL,

As the others have said you must find the courage to tell him! From other peoples experiences the most common reaction has been one of disappointment that they weren't told sooner about the debt!

If you list a SOA (state of affairs) here we can advise you as your best plan of action. Then when you do tell him you can say the "I've been an idiot, I'm sorry, but I need your help and this is the action plan"! At least that way you can show you are trying to sort out the problem you got yourself into!

Have a look at this thread for a template.

BJL

Hi, Thanks for all the replies, this is my monthly outgoings.
Poll Tax- £78.00
Gas-£48 ( this is so high, because i could'nt pay a previos bill and it got added on to DD)
Electric- £40
BT- £28
Flexi loan- £55
Pers Loan-£150
Visa- £77
Catalogues-£40
Food and household-£180
Sky- £42 (going to cancel this)
TV rental-£22.99
Water-£27.63
My partner pays the mortgage and rest of bills DD out of his bank account.

At the moment coming in is;
£68.00- child benefit
child tax credits- £138
my partner has'nt been to sighn on, because he hopes to get a job asap, but i said he ought to we may be able to get some money because we have a child and we need money to feed him.
I rang my bank to ask them if i could miss my loan and visa payments this month, and explained the situation, but they were'nt interested they said no, and sent me some forms to have a one of thier consilidation loans. I have been going over my OD limit and they are charging me loads, i never take money out of my account it's just all DD's mostly to the bank for loans.
I know i must tell my partner, it just seems i never find the right moment, i keep dropping hints, but it's not working.

southernscouser

Can you give us APR's, limits, that sort of thing on your debts?

Whats your credit rating like?

BJL

Sorry don't know any APR's
my pers loan bal is --£2533.34 ( paying £149.02 a month, 15 payments left on it.)
my visa 1 bal is---£3482 ( paying £77 a month SO, crd cut up)
Visa 2 bal----£500 ( pay £10 a month, all i can afford to pay, so nothing ever get's paid off, card cut up)
Flexi loan bal---£500, pay £50 off each month, then get it back out again, so never goes down.
OD Limit is £550, always over been over limit last few weeks and getting charged loads)
Owe £300 on a pay day advance and keep rolling it over and paying £36 a month to do so.
Owe freinds and family ---£800
It does'nt look too bad, if i could afford to pay any of it.