Please Help Me Please Frightened

PasturesNew

Well done.

The things that stand out to me are:

hectorcarol wrote: »

Mortgage................................ 345
Rent.................................... 249

I presume this is a Shared Ownership Property. Guessing it's 50% yours.

hectorcarol wrote: »

Telephone (land line)................... 58 - you can cut this back by making less (0) calls, say save £30
Groceries etc. ......................... 380 - you can cut this back to about half, save £200

hectorcarol wrote: »

Petrol/diesel........................... 240
Road tax................................ 300
Car Insurance........................... 35

Road tax £300/month? Even per year that's a lot.

Your car cost is crippling you. What is the reason for the high cost of fuel and road tax? Can you drive less? Sell a car? Buy a cheaper/more fuel efficient car?

Barebear

Well done for telling your husband! Really well done.

If you're still a bit apprehensive about how he took it, sent him a text or an email today when you're apart telling him how much you love him and how you feel much better now that he's going to be there to help you both through.

You're finances will steady sooner than you think, please don't let your relationship suffer any further - I know this from bitter experience.

The hardest part is over - now you need to stay focussed on both your finances and your relationship.

Good luck.

hectorcarol

Thanks so much for all your advice & comments.
Hubbie is being great still, saying we will get through this together.
Phoned the CCCS, have been given an in-depth phone appt for next Wed 19/11.

Been told to open a different bank account for our wages to go into &
transfer all the important DD's to that one.

Just a bit more info on us.
We do live in a Shared Equity house, that why the rent & mortgage.
I got our salaries the wrong way around, he earns the most.

Telephone is £37 monthly (under contract) with no calls but we should be able to get that figure down.

Groceries figure is what the CCCS recommended but we are only spending
about £200. Asda or the no-frills are cheaper but we have a Tesco about 3 miles away otherwise it is a 30 miles round trip, which is even more petrol.

Yeah, Road Tax was yearly, daft me !!! This is for 2 cars.

We live in a small village & hubbie drives about 45 miles daily for work.
He used to car-share but the bloke left so there isn't anyone to do this with.
He works on alternating shifts so I have a car to get to work about 10 miles,
almost daily to get there. No regular public transport to get me there.

I should have added £20 for MOT's & maintenance

The other insurance is the mortgage protection for us both & I have £10
life assurance.
Water is £36.50 monthly and this is on a meter, it was cheaper on yearly rates but we are not allowed to change back to these.

Clothes.......don't need this on here. CCCS insisted on this figure.
Hubbie got plenty, I have lost weight & a hoarder so got plenty. Our daughter, I use e-bay mostly or as a luxury primart/peacocks.

Finally, our mortgage is for 40 percent of the house. Borrowed about 63k
2 years ago , so nothing will have gone off the money borrowed. Plus the house has lost about 20k in value so no equity there, but we will stay here
providing we can keep it. That is one of my biggest worries.

There are 2 adults & a 12yr old in our household.
Please stay with me through this. It really does help being able to share
like this.

Perhaps there is a way through, can't see it yet.
Got paid yesterday, no money in my purse for food & I cannot use any cards.
Will get clever with anything in the freezer for now.

Thank you ALL so much again.
XXX

Hopefully that has answered some of your questions.
I am trying to be as honest as possible & I should have said STOP years ago !!!
XXX

hectorcarol

Thanks so much for all your advice & comments.
Hubbie is being great still, saying we will get through this together.
Phoned the CCCS, have been given an in-depth phone appt for next Wed 19/11.

Been told to open a different bank account for our wages to go into &
transfer all the important DD's to that one.

Just a bit more info on us.
We do live in a Shared Equity house, that why the rent & mortgage.
I got our salaries the wrong way around, he earns the most.

Telephone is £37 monthly (under contract) with no calls but we should be able to get that figure down.

Groceries figure is what the CCCS recommended but we are only spending
about £200. Asda or the no-frills are cheaper but we have a Tesco about 3 miles away otherwise it is a 30 miles round trip, which is even more petrol.

Yeah, Road Tax was yearly, daft me !!! This is for 2 cars.

We live in a small village & hubbie drives about 45 miles daily for work.
He used to car-share but the bloke left so there isn't anyone to do this with.
He works on alternating shifts so I have a car to get to work about 10 miles,
almost daily to get there. No regular public transport to get me there.

I should have added £20 for MOT's & maintenance

The other insurance is the mortgage protection for us both & I have £10
life assurance.
Water is £36.50 monthly and this is on a meter, it was cheaper on yearly rates but we are not allowed to change back to these.

Clothes.......don't need this on here. CCCS insisted on this figure.
Hubbie got plenty, I have lost weight & a hoarder so got plenty. Our daughter, I use e-bay mostly or as a luxury primart/peacocks.

Finally, our mortgage is for 40 percent of the house. Borrowed about 63k
2 years ago , so nothing will have gone off the money borrowed. Plus the house has lost about 20k in value so no equity there, but we will stay here
providing we can keep it. That is one of my biggest worries.

There are 2 adults & a 12yr old in our household.
Please stay with me through this. It really does help being able to share
like this.

Perhaps there is a way through, can't see it yet.
Got paid yesterday, no money in my purse for food & I cannot use any cards.
Will get clever with anything in the freezer for now.

Thank you ALL so much again.
XXX

Hopefully that has answered some of your questions.
I am trying to be as honest as possible & I should have said STOP years ago !!!
XXX

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hectorcarol

Hopefully you have got my reply

I do have probs with copy & paste.
This site is great but not easy............
I don't know if I have posted my reply to everyone
which I wanted to do or been cut/copying & paste to no-one.

Thanking you anyway
XXX

bellrooster

Hiya Hectorcarol

I can see all your replies so I imagine all the other folks can too!!

I'm fairly new here too and I've had some brilliant advice from the lovely people here - they really know what they're talking about and helped put me at ease and I'm more in control of my debts.

I just wanted to wish you luck, and well done!! it's hard work and 'mind numbing' going through all your finances! .. best of luck for the future!

hectorcarol

Hiya thankyou so much

I cannot afford to be proud any more.

Still frightened stiff but starting to do something about it all.
At least Hubbie on board now & not leaving me etc.

I have been checking & checking this site to see if I done it right.
You are my first reply after the initial cry for help.

Thanx again
XXX

paybacktime2008

I just wanted to say well done. It's probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, but you have done it. from now on you can always say to yourselves that you are sorting yourselves out rather than ignoring the problem. I wish you the very best of luck.

freebie_2

Hi Honey,

Not planning to add too much to what's gone before as better people than I are able to help you. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone .. I ran up debt (£18K) without my wifes knowledge, and the biggest bar to taking steps to sort things out was my fear of upsetting her while all the time it was getting worse.

In short, I finally had to grow a pair and 'fess up. To my relief she was great - hurt that i'd tried to do it all on my own in truth rather than let her know what was going on - but she was very supportive.

My debts are slowing being reduced, and now, due to the untimely death of my Mum I will be debt free soon. Not a good way to get there obviously, but there's no escaping the fact that my inheritance will put me straight. The trick will then be making sure that I don't fall off the wagon again by buying what i can't afford.

Anyway, I'm rambling , the point is that help and support IS available and no-one will judge you here. Poor financial sense affects all sorts of people - including some that you would think would know better.

Don't beat yourself up, enlist Hubbies help and fight this together with help from your extended MSE family.

Best Wishes.

savingholmes

Hi HC I'm really pleased to see that you have contacted CCCS, talked to your hubbie and started the process of getting a new bank account... Great progress for 1 day...!