moral dilemma - student issue

Catspajamas

Probably a bit late replying to this but thought I'd give an opinion!
I've just finished uni, and my parents paid my tuition fees. I got the basic loan and there was pretty much nothing left after my accomodation went out. I worked during the holidays and before I went to uni (only had about £1000 saved though!) and I found I didn't need to work in term time until the 3rd and 4th years of my course, and if I'm honest that was pretty much just to fund my car and social life and more than just living on pasta. This had no impact on my studies at all. I'm not the best money saver in the world, I had a good time through uni and didn't scrimp, but my parents didn't fund my social life.

My point is, see what he needs money for. If its for rent or basic food, then by all means assist because obviously those are important and when you first move out it can be hard to get the hang of budgeting, but if its for going out drinking or take away, thats his own responsibility to fund!

silvercar

Can't work out whether people are saying I shouldn't give more to my son, or that I shouldn't give to the fund, because with a bit of budgetting and working all students can manage!

Oldernotwiser

silvercar wrote: »

Can't work out whether people are saying I shouldn't give more to my son, or that I shouldn't give to the fund, because with a bit of budgetting and working all students can manage!

Well I'm certainly saying you should carry on giving to the fund. In my experience this sort of charitable trust vets people carefully and helps with money for people who've slipped through the net for some reason, rather than giving to those who can't budget.

bestpud

Yes, I think you should carry on giving to the trust too as it is hopefully only helping those with financial difficulties over and above those student finance can cater for.

That said though, you have admitted your son needs more than the govt would give and he is still finding it 'difficult'!

Student finance may be enough but it's not a fortune, even for those with no other commitments or needs, and who are able to work, so for some people this extra fund will be invaluable.

I think it's a great idea personally!

mellymeep

My housemate gets everything payed for her by her parents, and is going to be leaving university with a degree in how to be a spoilt !!!!! who doesn't know the meaning of money.

mumps

Since I posted last week I had a phone call from my daughter's uni to say she was in an ambulance on her way to hospital with menengitis. Take my advice spoil your son if you can and you want to. When my daughter is OK I will spoil her without guilt, after five days at her bedside to see her laughting and talking is priceless.

Bennifred

mumps wrote: »

Since I posted last week I had a phone call from my daughter's uni to say she was in an ambulance on her way to hospital with menengitis. Take my advice spoil your son if you can and you want to. When my daughter is OK I will spoil her without guilt, after five days at her bedside to see her laughting and talking is priceless.

Completely understandable sentiment, mumps - every parent's worst nightmare:sad: Hope your daughter is on the mend.

bestpud

mumps wrote: »

Since I posted last week I had a phone call from my daughter's uni to say she was in an ambulance on her way to hospital with menengitis. Take my advice spoil your son if you can and you want to. When my daughter is OK I will spoil her without guilt, after five days at her bedside to see her laughting and talking is priceless.

I symapthise fully with you current situation but I don't see it as a reason to recommend parents spoil their adult offspring tbh!

Plenty of love and tlc will be way better than materialistic gifts imo!

Love and affection is better communicated from the heart, rather than a shop bought good, or a wad of money - what is that going to say!!

mumps

At least I felt she hadn't made herself suseptible to illness because she was trying to work and study or by not eating well. I think parents find plenty to beat themselves up about and at least this time I felt I had done everything I could. And besides I will enjoy spoiling her so it will be for me at least as much as it is for her.

To Bennifred, yes thanks, she is on the mend but nowhere near normal yet. Drs say at least a week before she is allowed to do any academic work, she has to rest and recover. Of course it will be nearly Christmas holidays by then so I think it will be January before she really gets anymore work done. Not sure about her Christmas job either, she was hoping to earn about £500 over Christmas to take back with her next term but don't know if that is realistic now.

silvercar

Ooh mumps, wish your daughter a full recovery.

Donation made. Thank you for all the advice.

The governments matched voluntary donations scheme means the money will go even further.

http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/pns/DisplayPN.cgi?pn_id=2007_0117