Is there an Answer

Northern_girl_2

Jenny - I completely understand why you wouldn't want your OH to get any of the equity in your house. I'd be pretty hacked off too.

I guess the other way of looking at this though is that at the moment he is getting free rent, free food, free utilities, free pretty much everything! It could well be that over the long run you end up giving him more than you would if you seperated. Plus you would have the peace of mind that you only had to be responsible for yourself. Not to mention that marriage is obviously about lots more than the money; he's you next of kin would you want him making the decisions for you if you were unwell? Or getting all the equity if the worst should happen.

Of course, if you feel that you do want to stay married to him then the first step would be for him to seek help for his drinking from a G.P. or such like.

pinkshoes

Could you trick him? i.e. tell him you want a fresh start somewhere else, sell the house, then take the money and run? Well, take as much as you need, and leave him a small portion. If he's so wound up with his drinking, perhaps he would probably settle for a small amount? In fact, would he even have the will power to chase any more?

I know it's not ideal, but you should consider ALL options!

Jennywren3

Thanks for all your advice I am just thinking out loud What if I just separated How long could I drag that out for without getting a divorce

skintchick

pinkshoes wrote: »

Could you trick him? i.e. tell him you want a fresh start somewhere else, sell the house, then take the money and run? Well, take as much as you need, and leave him a small portion. If he's so wound up with his drinking, perhaps he would probably settle for a small amount? In fact, would he even have the will power to chase any more?

I know it's not ideal, but you should consider ALL options!

A friend's husband did this to her. They sold their house, he dealt with all the negotiations for 'buying' the new one. Moving day came, he packed all their stuff into a van which he 'drove' to the 'new house'.

She went in her car, got there, he didn;t turn up, she couldn;t get him on his mobile, so drove to the estate agents thinking he'd maybe got in an accident and not knowing what to do, to be told "you really need to speak to your husband, as you haven;t bought the house".

He had run up debts in her name, she never got a penny back and had to go back and live with her parents.

So, it CAN be done! Whether you would want to treat someone like that is a different matter.