Is there an Answer

Jennywren3

I feel a total mug I am retired but have a very good pension Husband has only just in the last 18 weeks started giving me £50 for his keep I pay for everything ,petrol ,tv licence just everything
He isnt earning much money in a part time job but most of his money goes on alcohol .
I would throw him out but I am not going to let him have half the money of the house which I bought I didnt get married til I was 43 and let him spend it on booze
I feel utterly trapped

Steph998

Jennywren3 wrote: »

I feel a total mug I am retired but have a very good pension Husband has only just in the last 18 weeks started giving me £50 for his keep I pay for everything ,petrol ,tv licence just everything
He isnt earning much money in a part time job but most of his money goes on alcohol .
I would throw him out but I am not going to let him have half the money of the house which I bought I didnt get married til I was 43 and let him spend it on booze
I feel utterly trapped

Oh gosh. I feel so sorry for you. Not just because of the money thing...but actually living with someone you have no feelings for is awful (I know) you do feel trapped, all you must see is the years stretching ahead. Do you have any feelings at all for your husband, or is he just (sorry to be so blunt) a parasite you want rid of?

I am not sure how throwing him out will entitle him to half the house? Is he savvy enough (though the booze) to know he has any legal rights...and what are they anyway? If you can prove you have paid the mortgage, and all the living expenses (bank statements) I can't see any court giving him half the house if you divorce. Do you have any children?

I would work out exactly how much you spend on joint things, and tell him you want exactly half. Tell him it is alcohol, or your marriage. It sound harsh, but I would actually kick him out, change the locks, and if he dares try to take you to court, let him know you are a fighter.

You sound like one.

ameliarate

Has he never contributed to the household expenses? Do you have evidence of this? I would suggest you go and see a solicitor, I think you can usually get an initial consultation free of charge, and just see where you stand.

If you have been married quite a while you may well end up having to give him some of the equity in the house, a friend of mine has had to and he almost never gave her money and used to hit her and go off with other women!

Go and see someone and find out the facts rather than worrying yourself silly about it.

Jennywren3

I just thought the man or woman for that matter was entitled to half I was going to see a solicitor but didnt think there was any point
I will not divorce him and let him have half .
I used to love him dearly I however have no respect for him

pinkshoes

Have you actually told him how you feel, and how you don't respect him any more?

He won't necessarily get half... do you have children with him? Did you buy the house a long time before you married? What was the house worth when you married him, and how much equity did you have, and what's it worth now?

Have the two of you been together for 17 years?

He might also be entitled to a % of your pension...

It would be definitely worth going to see a solicitor, as life is too short to waste it with someone you no longer want to be with.

Jennywren3

yes I have told him he thinks its funny No Children thank god been together 15 years I retired early as I was ill with depression God forbid he has a % of my pension Life is to short though Will go an see a solicitor

NAR

Jenny in a divorce settlement he may well be entitled to a proportion of your pension, if he he gets a solicitor worth their salt. Pension splits were introduced by law in 2000/2001; the amount will be part of an overall split of finances. Your best chance would be for you to agree an amicable settlement figure with him and the agreement (excluding pension split) drawn up by your solicitor.
However even most "bar room lawyers" know about pension splits and will probably advise him of his "rights."
Unfortunately I think you are between a rock and a hard place. Good luck.

Oldernotwiser

If your husband has a drink problem, perhaps you'd be better approaching this as a medical issue and seeking help through your GP for medication or counselling. I'm sure you wouldn't break up your marriage over any other medical issue, so perhaps this is the same?

Jennywren3

he has had liver failure but somehow or other then they monitor him they say everythings ok he goes again in two weeks for a check
I have told him me or the drink as I am sure that the drink makes his moods so aweful
He just laughs I am sure his mates have told him he has a claim on everything I guess I am in a very very difficult situation

Spendless

Jenny- def go see a solicitor. When I bought a house alone, I queried what would happen if I met someone who moved in to my place and we later split up. The solicitor told me each case ws judged on its own merit, but would would be taken into account is anything that the partner had 'put into' the house - this didn't have to be financial input, staying at home and looking after kids counts for example. This was in 1994.
50/50 is usually a starting point, it doesn't mean that the house will def be divided up that way.

Caz3121

Jenny - agree go and see solicitor but to be honest I value happiness over £s any day.
My situation married to a man for 18 years who was happy to be "kept" and contribute nothing to the family home. I had enough and left and he was still happy to contribute nothing to the mortgage whilst he lived there. Eventually I went to court to force the sale of the house and he miraculously got a job to buy me out. House was valued at £180k when it had been £240k 6 months before (this was 3 years ago) but amazingly for his mortgage (which they sent to me in error) it was valued at £280k....at this stage I was past caring - the last 4 years away from him have been worth more than money.