Help! Neighbour trying to steal my cat!!

missbargain

I have a similar story but in the opposite direction.

There was this cat that used to come to our door and meaow like crazy, scratching on our door. Once, she wouldn't go away from our door for two days and was freezing, so we took her in, as we worried that she would get sick, and fed it.
It turned out that she was microchipped, so we called the owners and they picked her up.
However, the cat kept turning up at our door every day, and would not stop crying until we let her in. I mean, we live with other people in the street, and it was hard ignoring the howling cat scratching on our door.
We called the owners again, they took her away again. When this happenned for the fourth time, the owners gave cat to us, saying that the cat has obviously chosen where she wanted to be, and they could see that we cared and loved it, so they were happy for us to keep her. Mind you, it wasn't a Siamese, just a moggy, but still, they loved the cat as it is the most affectionate, well behaved, sweet cat ever.
We have had her now for 3 months, we adore her, and she never tries to go back to her old owners. From the start she was sleeping in our bed, adores my husband (kisses him and snuggles with him in bed) and never leaves our side. Cats seem to have their preference (this does not make your home inadequate, they just have their own strange reasons for their choice), and it is hard to go against their nature.
I have never had experiences with cats before, but my neighbour, who has two cats, had told me that cats just choose where they want to be, and there is nothing one can do.
My suggestion would be: why don't you try to share her with the other lady?

You may say "but I bought her", however, the cat wants to go there, is not happy locked up, so it is better, in my view, to compromise than to have an unhappy cat. Even if the other lady stops feeding him, he may still go there begging and crying, and that is hard to resist. If you shared him, all four "people" involved could be happy. Or sell him to her, but with the arrangement that you can come to see him any time you want.

Another suggestion is to try to feed your cat the most amazing food you can find, so that he prefers to come back to yours for dinner.

Whatever happens, I don't think it is fair that your neighbour has been knowingly taming the cat, however, she may have truly believed that he was stray, and now it is to late to turn back the time, he has already been hooked and will probably be going there if let out. Good luck whatever you choose to do.

P.S.
It makes me remember the old saying: "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." Easier said than done, though.

Kimberley

missbargain wrote: »

P.S.
It makes me remember the old saying: "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." Easier said than done, though.

If it doesn't come back then it must have been i'll treated or not fed or had been run over or kept indoors by someone else etc etc..cats will come back if treated properly and fed well. Some cats travel miles to find their way home if lost or if the family have moved and the cat hasn't yet got used to it's new surroundings.

So if a cat doesn't come home then there is always a reason.

It's a good qoute for a relationship though.

jenhug

my neighbour 3 doors up (terraced street) started feeding my cat, she said "whe just turned up oneday, I had never seen her before" yeah right. I asked her to stop and she did, the cat persisted for a while but when she realsied the food had stopped she stopped going. cats will go where there is a warm bed and food, that woman is wrong to entice your cat. Make sure you have legal expenses on your household insurance, you might need it. If your cat is insured you should have legal cover on that too. keep the cat in for at least 6 weeks if you can, good luck with it all.

moomin5

I think the letter posted is good, to the point but is also friendly. I don't think it would be a good idea to go rushing into legal action against her, when it could still be solved amicably.

I don't agree with other posters that you should sell/give your cat to this lady because he's happy to go over to her house and get fed/attention. Why should she be rewarded for her actions and OP lose out? I'm sure cat would return home if no food was on offer at the neighbours house.

I'd be suprised if OP's cat looks like a stray/feral, even if the lady doesn't know breeds. Also perhaps the lady doesn't actually want the full responsibility of cat ownership but happy to have a cat guest..well as long as it doesn't bring fleas in.

I hope your neighbour is interested in adopting her own cat and allowing your's to return to its rightful place.

Charis

Kimberley wrote: »

So if a cat doesn't come home then there is always a reason.

Especially if they are actively encouraged to take up residence elsewhere.

A close friend of mine had a cat (not pedigree) which would disappear and reappear at odd intervals. Eventually she found out that the cat was calling on at least two other neighbours and whoever fed it with the finest fattening food got the cat for the night. One of the neighbours eventually decided that the cat was hers and while she and my friend were trying to sort out the disagreement the cat ran out into the road and was injured. The woman who had claimed ownership took the cat for some expensive treatment then came to my friend, who had no knowledge of the incident, to recoup the cost of the whole bill. It got quite unpleasant in the end but my friend refused to pay the costs as she had not had any choice in the matter. The cat only lived a few more years but my friend still avoids any contact with that neighbour.

This whole issue is not so much about the personal preferences of cats as about the rights and responsibilities of someone who has undertaken to care for an expensive animal.

moggylover

[quote=Kimberley;15640063]I'm amazed that some people say you don't own your cat and that a cat will just go anywhere for food, yes it will if you don't feed it and it goes out hungry. Why on earth should the OP sell her cat to a women who has clearly done all she can to entice the cat away? I bet you that if this cat were in need of veterinary treatment you will not see her for dust nor will she open the door to you. The owner will have to pay the vet bills.

I have two Bengal Kittens and have built a cat house in my garden for them, they are my cats and no one elses and if they were to ever go missing then they will still be mine as long as they are registered to me. Having microchips will ensure I remain the owner.

Cats belong to the owners and I'm fed up with people saying otherwise.[/quote]

Really cannot agree with the part of your post that I have highlighted in red Kimberley! I have spent over 30 years doing cat rescue work - and some of the cats we have had in have still wandered miles from home despite being very well fed and cared for. My own have NEVER been underfed or underloved, but sometimes they just "take" to a neighbour and like to go there as well.

I would not suggest that the cat should be "given" to the other person, nor "sold" to them - but think that unless the cat is to be kept in forever then there will be little way of totally stopping it "visiting" the other person unless it receives active nastiness from them to keep it away.

Your own cats WILL be pretty safe because they are caged in - but it is in a cats nature to wander and stick its' nose in everywhere (hence curiosity killing it) and some cats do just have a tendency to "adopt" people that they like, sometimes for a while, other times for a long time.

As to your last paragraph: nope, cats do not "belong" to their humans, their "humans" belong to them;) . If your cat wants to go somewhere, then short of caging it up you are never going to stop it.

I agree that the neighbour has not been altogether "fair" in her behaviour thus far, but think this may be because she just fell in love with that particular cat (even two from the same breed and with the same colouration can leave you with one you adore, and another who just doesn't take the same "bite" from your heart) and started making a fuss of it!

I used to have a very large grey shaggy male who came to me as a stray in the first place, and he used to dissapear for a week sometimes. A neighbour up the road came to me and asked if I went away sometimes, because he would just turn up at her house, walk in and refuse to leave! She would leave the window open for him day and night during that week, and he would hardly move from the house. She admitted to giving him table scraps and bits during that time, but did not feed him - and a week or so later he would just get up and go: and come back to me . Since I was not away - and called and called to get him home at night, and he was VERY well fed to the extent that the vet thought he needed a bit of a diet, we could never really decide why he did this - but it went on for years, and I gave her permission to feed him whilst he was with her, but that did not change his behaviour either .

I think she was lonely, and I think my mog sensed this and would go and keep her company for a few days:D .

When Baggy started to loose weight and look "off" we both noticed within a couple of days and she came and asked me if I knew what was wrong, and said she would be more than happy to take him to the vets. I had already booked the appointment so refused that help. It was hard coming home with the knowledge that he was FIV positive and that we would only share him for a few more weeks. He was no longer allowed out: so I actually took him up to visit her each week:o . He lived about 6 weeks before I decided he was no longer enjoying life at all and she came with me to the vets on the day he was pts and I was very glad of her support and hugs when I came out of the surgery, AND she insisted on paying for that final visit as "her bit of love to the old boy".

So you see, it doesn't HAVE to end badly - and may not have started with any nastiness.

I still recommend the op to try the letter above first: and only get heavy if she absolutely has to:D

supermezzo

Is it worth a white lie in the letter, telling this woman that the cats have an ongoing illness which means medication/that their diet mustn'e be interfered with/frequent vets trips etc
Like others, I doubt she would be so happy to keep enticing the cat back if she thought that it would cost her money.

moggylover

Kimberley wrote: »

If it doesn't come back then it must have been i'll treated or not fed or had been run over or kept indoors by someone else etc etc..cats will come back if treated properly and fed well. Some cats travel miles to find their way home if lost or if the family have moved and the cat hasn't yet got used to it's new surroundings.

So if a cat doesn't come home then there is always a reason.

It's a good qoute for a relationship though.

I'm sorry Kimberley - but that is just not totally true of all cats! If is was, then we in cat rescue would have a damned hard job because all of the cats we re-homed would travel back to where they had lived, or us! Many, many cats that end up in rescue have been well loved, and well cared for and come to us because their owner has passed away or gone into care, etc. These cats usually settle well into their new environment, which if we accepted your assertion they would not.

Furthermore, we would all be condemning people who had an "apparently" homeless cat hanging around, and quite possibly yowling and yet did not bring it in and make sure it was okay. I agree that the best thing then is to take it to the vets and see if it is micro-chipped - but there are masses of people out there (especially in rural areas) that still do not know that that can be done with pets, and they would just ask about or phone police and rspca to see if they have anyone reporting its loss and then consider the cat to be a stray, just as we always used to do when chips were not available. .

ETA: I forgot to add that sometimes we do have a rescue cat that bonds so much with its fosterer that it pines when re-homed, no matter how good or loving the new home. I think the reasons for cats being cats (and certainly one of the reasons I love them so much) is that they are their "own person" and nothing one does can necessarily make them "dependant" the way a dog is. The vagaries of their different personalities never ceases to amaze me, despite having handled more of the flippin things than I like to think about! We also see cats who loose a much loved owner, and go into a decline that just nothing seems to reverse, as if the cat cared so much they have just given up - and it is heartbreaking to watch but almost impossible to deal with. Certainly for me it is the cantankerous, stubborn and totally self-centered nature of the cat that I find the most addictive (and sometimes the most annoying:rolleyes: ) and the pure perversity of the cat is to my mind what makes it stand out from the crowd in all the other pets one can own.

I have 14 - no fancy pedigrees - all the result of irresponsible breeding (and "pedigree" breeders are seldom an exception to that irresonsibility:o ) and they are all entirely different in their approach to me and my family. All 14 have an odd quirk, or something they have "trained" us to do for them. Whilst there are things we could claim to have trained them to do (like fetch a ball, or come to their name) the fact is they have probably trained us to offer them these amusements:o and they remain their own person and make that very obvious whenever it suits them.

As others have said, taking this through legal steps would be very costly. Furthermore, the reason one is not held legally responsible for any damage ones cat may do to other peoples property as one would be for a dog is that the law recognises that certain "untameable" streak that cats have and thus I think it would be difficult to "prove" that the cat had been unfairly coaxed so I think the outcome of any such case would be doubtful. Thus putting the past where it belongs and trying to move on with a positive and amicable outcome seems the best/most sensible route to me. Adopting a siamese of her own MIGHT solve the problem in one way - but it may still not stop your cat from wandering off and finding himself another friendly place to pop off to for weekend breaks:D

eira

I do feel for you. Cats can be classed as property but I heard somewhere that the only part that was actually 'yours' is the microchip. I'm not sure what the situation is if you have purchased the cat. I think I too would go go down the 'expense' route. Despite my cynicism about them I think I'd go down the solicitor's letter route/threat to 'put the frighteners on' but I would write the letter.Your household insurance legal helpline might help too.
a)I would make it clear how much the cat cost and that you have receipts/bills that make it clear that this animal is your property
b)The owner of the cat is legally liable for its welfare and any damage it causes-this therefore needs clarifying
b)It is insured in the name of its present owner therefore any prospective owner will beacome liable for insurance premiums and associated excessess payments (this needn't be true)
c)The cat's line shows that there could be an indication of a future health problem that could lead to further costs (anything you like really) As an example my Siamese came from a litter that later turned out to have had cat flu.As a result he has scarring in both lungs (which has just been detected)the bill for those investigations alone is in the region of £2500 and he may now have asthma-which apparently Siamese can be liable to-which is going to require ongoing medication and all the associated expense.

Morally this woman is wrong - giving the cat flea medication without knowing its history is careless, dangerous and stupid. Had she genuinely believed he was a stray she should have had him scanned and checked by a vet.This is a way of getting a 'fancy' cat on the cheap and she probably relies on the wandering habits of cats and the perception they belong to no one as a defence.

I'd pretend to give up-write a letter asking for a suitable sum of money to purchase the cat, express concern re the cats welfare as regards the flea treatment, pile on the expense of keeping the cat-insurance/illness (anything you like) asking for a written assurance that the cat's welfare must be considered. Give her so long to reply and then say that you will have to consult a solicitor.

I don't think it's reasonable to expect you to give up -although a cat will do its own thing in the end.But I really do feel for you particularly regarding the way this woman has behaved. It's the flea treatment that got me -no one does that without checking with a vet.It takes nothing to check a microchip and you never give flea treatment without knowing when the last treatment date was

Good luck

Ms_Chocaholic

Was listening to the Chris Evans' show on Radio 2 last night and he was talking about cat cameras, apparently it's a small camera that you fix onto your cat's collar and it shows its movements.

At least you will know where it is