How do you spilt the bills with your OH?

faye1978

Any wrote: »

:T

I think you will have to discuss it really. I had a friend who's situation was exactly like yours and it ended up that she did all the housework and bought grocery shoppings while he paid ALL of the bills.
She had no claim on the house though. Which is fair enough - now they are married however and she is at home with child anyway. Some man are like that (and yours sounds like that) - they earn money for the thrill of being able to and don't really care where or what it's spent on once is earned.

My relationship is like this. OH earns my monthly salary in 10 days. We have our own Bank accounts and I moved into HIS house. He pays ALL the bills and I pay the Grocery shopping as I eat different things to him. I also pay the sky and dental (cos I wanted to go private whereas he was happy with NHS). I have NO claim on the house however and do all the cooking, cleaning and general household chores (besides DIY). This works for us and if I ever have overspent he would never see me go without although I very rarely ask. He is SO good with money and I am NOT.

gaz_jones

My gf and I both put a set ammount of money into a joint account on the 1st of each month. We over estimate how much we need to put in as its an easy way to save money without realising just letting it build up in an account

longforgotten

I'm married and as far as I'm concerned it is all 'our money', whether in my name, his name or joint names. All our money goes into a joint bank acccount, then gets spent on bills, transfers to savings etc. I admit I'm in charge, and I use the term loosely, of our money as I think its best that one person is, but it could just as easily be my husband. We discuss money matters together and I just sort it out.

We married in our late twenties, don't have children, I'm in full time work and my husband is currently unemployed.

I have always found it intriguing how couples deal with their money. For instance I have seen a wife give her husband back the change ( and it was only a couple of quid ) from when she got something from the shops. To me that is just unbelievably strange as they were in no way strapped for cash. You could tell from his manner he really was waiting for that change back !

The only time I could not share was if I could not trust my husband with money. It then follows if I could not trust him then we would not be together for long !

WEEZE210_2

We have our own accounts and a joint one. Our wages go into our own accounts, he earns way more than me, I only work 12.5 hrs in a supermarket. He has moved into my house and we got married only a month ago. My three children live with us, his two are older and left home a while ago. He sold his house to move in with me about 7mths ago. All our bills are paid out of the joint account, including petrol and food shopping, he transfers a chunk of his wages into the joint account each month to cover this. I have my wages, child benefit, CSA money and a tiny bit of Child Tax credit which I use to buy clothes, shoes, Hair cuts, and anything else the kids need (including school trips etc) Then whats left is mine and he has whats left in his account to spend as he wishes (about £600). When we go out whoever has got some cash pays, if neither has got any cash then either of us goes to the cash point, we mostly take it in turns but prob him slightly more than me! I didn't think this was very fair (it was all his suggestion!) but he maintains that when he had his own house he was paying a lot more out in bills, especially mortgage, so is a lot better off now and has a lot more left to spend as he wishes!

maman

I take charge of managing our bills as we like it that way (OH is equally capable but he has other tasks-like hoovering-to do!).

For years and years we have separate personal current and savings accounts and an extra account (also in my name) for bills. We have been paying into the 'bills' account proportionately each month. We use our savings for anything else like holidays, new car, home improvements etc. each contributing 50% generally. However, the credit crunch/recession has made us have a rethink.

The 'bills' account has enough each month to cover all debits but we have changed how we do food/fuel. What was happening was that we had agreed an amount each but due to rapidly rising prices and the fact that I do the shopping I was ending up subsidising us. We then tried putting all household bills on a credit card and splitting the bill each month but now I choose to shop in Lidl/Aldi as well I was using 'my' money to pay here. I try to avoid using a debit card because I hate keeping spare money in a current account. Currently I am keeping receipts and we'll sort it at the end of the month! Life was so much simpler when outgoings stayed much the same year on year!

Bitsy_Beans

I guess I am another unusual one. Even before I was married I had a joint account with my H. We lived together at my parents while we saved for a deposit on a house. We have two accounts, one where all wages and DD's go into and out of. A set amount of money is transferred to another account and this is our money to live on for the month. Any large purchases are discussed before hand and it works well for us.
I must admit I do find it odd when people talk about having "their money". If I want to buy something I can do (unless it's for a significant amount) so I don't need my own little pot of cash just for me. It is horses for courses at the end of the day and as long as you are happy with the arrangement then thats fine. I guess it's the old fashioned in me that can't get my head around paying bills proportionately. Sometimes I earned more than my H and vice versa and I didn't feel the need to adjust who paid what. I don't mean to offend anyone it's just how I feel.

Jo_R_2

I've found this thread really interesting from what I've read so far, particularly the views of those in a couple who both work but one earns a considerable amount more than the other and how they feel about splitting bills and their respective disposable incomes...

At the mo I'm a SAHM to my two DDs from a previous relationship and am pregnant with #3. OH works full-time and earns an average wage. He's only recently moved in and so we're in the process of sorting out our finances, who contributes what - obviously my share comes from child benefit, tax credits (when our joint claim gets sorted - eventually!) and some child maintenance.

We have had some 'interesting' discussions about disposable income - for the first time in my life I am in a position where if I need money to buy anything I have to go to OH and 'ask' him - and I don't like it! He doesn't mind a jot and would happily hand over money for a haircut/clothes/drinks with friends if I wanted and the money was there but I feel so robbed - I feel like I'm asking his permission!

He has though said he feels that because he earns the money, he is okay to spend his disposable income on whatever he likes, which in theory means he gets first dibs on his money, can theoretically spend however much he wants on whatever he wants without asking me but I have to 'ask' iyswim?

I do the majority of the housework and cooking, and grocery shopping as I see that as part of my role at the moment.

This situation is a work-in-progress, and I envisage what will happen (as he has actually said he is not that good with money and would prefer I sorted the finances) is that I would like us to open a joint account for rent, bills and groceries, and have a designated 'surplus' transferred into our sole accounts for our own spends, thus avoiding anyone having to ask for money for spends! I'm not sure at the mo how we'll agree to split this as technically I don't really 'earn' my money.

Another factor is that once baby is born I will be looking for a job, and I have the higher earning capacity so it could well be that things will turn around, he may take more responsibility with the kids and work less hours, but at the mo I think he's a bit macho about being the man and earning the money!

He has also said about if I was at work he wouldn't have dinner ready for him when he got back from work :rotfl:

maman

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

It is horses for courses at the end of the day and as long as you are I don't mean to offend anyone it's just how I feel.

Well said Bitsy! but is interesting (and thought-provoking) to hear how others manage their affairs.

kittiej

I pay the bills and OH doesn't contribute and its peeing me off tbh

CelticStar

Wow, just reading a lot of these posts makes me realise how lucky I am in my OH. We've been together nearly 12 years and married just over 7. I suppose in our case things are different because I have quite long patches of ill health where I'm not able to work (this has been the case since before we were together and OH married me knowing this). Any money I have has always been 'pin money' to spend on extras and OH's money has always paid for just about everything. We have a joint bank account and I am in charge of making sure everything gets paid on time etc. OH has no interest in money whatsoever and rarely buys anything except newspapers, cans of coke etc when he is at work. He doesn't smoke or gamble and rarely drinks. I have to buy him clothes, shoes and things like computer games as he just doesn't treat himself at all. He likes to tinker about with computers and he has an Xbox and a Wii but even the Xbox he was cautious about buying and I bought him the Wii as a present last Christmas. Despite not spending much on himself he is really generous and tells me to just buy what I want for myself or the house as long as we can afford it. If I am going to buy something big like furniture or a computer or something then I will ok it with him first but he always just says yes.

Reading this back makes me appreciate him more to be honest, perhaps he spoils me because I haven't been well, I don't know. I think he is maybe just a contented person who doesn't need to buy himself lots of things to be happy.