How do you spilt the bills with your OH?

tara747

Catwoman1975 wrote: »

I am very sensible with money and would not go out and spend £200 on a handbag like some of my friends, so that does help.

Same here, I'm really good with money. Some of my friends spend way too much on junk, they also have big CC balances and no savings! :eek:

Io07

wow! this IS an interesting thread! so many ways for so many people...

DH earns twice as much as I do; altho' I'm hoping I'll getting a better paid jobnext year. We've got a jt a/c into which my income goes; plus he transfers whatever's needed from his own a/c (mortgage, some bills, insurances) but some DDs go out of his a/c too. All food+grocery shopping paid thru this a/c. What's left at the end of the month we usually use to pay off mortgage, max out my ISA or invest. We spend whatever on CC (always paid in full at end of month) but discuss any big purchases (probably talk ourselves out of a few!). Lately been thinking of opening an a/c for DS (private school fees in 4 years time:eek: -but still undecided on that one).

reading back, it seems I might need my own a/c but just can't be bothered!!! moneysaving seems like fun but I'll leave DH to sort out the other boring bits!!!

Idiophreak

tara747 wrote: »

I can understand your resentment - I might feel the same if that were me. If OH were doing an 'interesting but poorly paid' job, despite being able and qualified for something better paid but 'a bit boring' (while I was doing a 'boring' job myself to earn more) it would be difficult to take. But then you do say she works twice the hours, it doesn't sound as if she is p**sing around in some arty farty non-job. Does she have the qualifications/experience to work in a job/profession where she would earn more?

I suppose the 'what's mine is mine' attitude is easier to have while you're childless. How would you feel if you had a baby and she wanted to take a year or two off to bring it up? I don't have children, but I'd like to think that I could do this. My savings would hopefully help us through this time, but I would hope that OH would agree to support us. I think that if you start planning a family, things change financially.

To be honest, her qualifications were taken in order to get her job - teaching, so she's been on that path a while, if you know what I mean. She's a bright and extremely hardworking woman, though - so I've no doubt she'd get on doing more or less anything. If nothing else, she could teach private, where there are better wages, less stress and she'd have more time to relax/spend with me - but it's just not what floats her boat, basically.

I've no doubt that if/when things get more serious, we marry, start a family and so on, things will just merge/evolve quite naturally. I think it's just this first step is the hardest to take - we've been together more than 8 years now, so I'd like to think things will work out OK, but we've never lived together before, so we don't really know how we'll get on in that situation and so on. I guess it's also quite a long time to be together being completely our own people, with our own money etc. Obviously, there's a part of me that thinks "don't worry about it, just dive in headfirst" but I guess there's a bit of me that is a bit more business minded and more hesitant about such a complete and immediate financial coupling between us. (especially as we won't have any real savings to fall back on)

Anyway, this isn't my thread! Taxi!

Any

Idiophreak wrote: »

To be honest, her qualifications were taken in order to get her job - teaching, so she's been on that path a while, if you know what I mean. She's a bright and extremely hardworking woman, though - so I've no doubt she'd get on doing more or less anything. If nothing else, she could teach private, where there are better wages, less stress and she'd have more time to relax/spend with me - but it's just not what floats her boat, basically.

I've no doubt that if/when things get more serious, we marry, start a family and so on, things will just merge/evolve quite naturally. I think it's just this first step is the hardest to take - we've been together more than 8 years now, so I'd like to think things will work out OK, but we've never lived together before, so we don't really know how we'll get on in that situation and so on. I guess it's also quite a long time to be together being completely our own people, with our own money etc. Obviously, there's a part of me that thinks "don't worry about it, just dive in headfirst" but I guess there's a bit of me that is a bit more business minded and more hesitant about such a complete and immediate financial coupling between us. (especially as we won't have any real savings to fall back on)

Anyway, this isn't my thread! Taxi!

I have to say, this is very interesting.
I know few teachers and they earn quite a good money - they start at some £20k! And they shouldn't work that much hours (especially thanks to holidays) - so how many hours do you work if you work less?? I WANT YOUR JOB;)
8 years is a long time - I say, "dive in head first!"
Says the woman who can't decide what car to buy or which way to finance it at the cheapest rate for the last 6 months (if not more..):rotfl:

tara747

Idiophreak wrote: »

To be honest, her qualifications were taken in order to get her job - teaching, so she's been on that path a while, if you know what I mean. She's a bright and extremely hardworking woman, though - so I've no doubt she'd get on doing more or less anything. If nothing else, she could teach private, where there are better wages, less stress and she'd have more time to relax/spend with me - but it's just not what floats her boat, basically.

I've no doubt that if/when things get more serious, we marry, start a family and so on, things will just merge/evolve quite naturally. I think it's just this first step is the hardest to take - we've been together more than 8 years now, so I'd like to think things will work out OK, but we've never lived together before, so we don't really know how we'll get on in that situation and so on. I guess it's also quite a long time to be together being completely our own people, with our own money etc. Obviously, there's a part of me that thinks "don't worry about it, just dive in headfirst" but I guess there's a bit of me that is a bit more business minded and more hesitant about such a complete and immediate financial coupling between us. (especially as we won't have any real savings to fall back on)

Anyway, this isn't my thread! Taxi!

She's a teacher??? From your post I thought she was some sort of trustafarian type working part time in a bookshop in between skinny lattes. Teaching is a very worthwhile career, you should be proud. And you should be glad that she gets paid leave during summer hols... will save you a fortune if you have children!

Which brings me onto my second point. She's on a teacher's salary (which is not bad by any standards) and you earn much more than her... and you can't save???

Start saving my boy.

Little_Otter

Me and OH havn't moved in yet, but I dont know what we will do when we decide to take that step...... its not too far away, next spring I think...
He has bought a house 100% all his money (mortgage not cash) nothing contributed from me. I will be moving into his house when he has finished doing it up - again all his money spent on renovations.

He earns about 7 or 8 times more than me. I work for his business 2 days a week which he pays me for, and I work another part time job 3/4 days a week. Those 2 days i will be at home (when we move in together) I think he expects me to do all (most of) the cleaning, washing ironing housework etc. I already do all the cooking and we dont live together yet, but spend every night at each others houses.

I dont mind doing the cooking cleaning etc as I dont like things being messy (bit of a tidy freak) but also some weeks (with his work included) I will be doing 6 days (he works 6 days every week.) So sometimes I dont know how I will get it done... its going to be tough i suppose.

He earns A LOT more than me he is very generous and would never ever see me go without, but I would never ask..... I'm happy to shop in primark and ASOS high street etc, he will do 1 or 2 big clothes shops a year in harvey nics at £300 a jumper....... and he goes out more than me, later than me and drinks soooo much more than me....
I like to save my money so I have something to show for my work and I can go out and indulge myself when i feel like (Take That tickets for example) he likes to spend all the money he has in his pocket and finds it hard to go without, he will always just buy what he wants when he wants....

What i'm trying to say is Its his money he works really hard for and built his business up for, I just wouldnt know how much to contribute towards the bills etc (I will be doing the food shopping) ????? (sorry for the long post)
ps (we have been together 3 yrs)

Any

:T

Little_Otter wrote: »

Me and OH havn't moved in yet, but I dont know what we will do when we decide to take that step...... its not too far away, next spring I think...
He has bought a house 100% all his money (mortgage not cash) nothing contributed from me. I will be moving into his house when he has finished doing it up - again all his money spent on renovations.

He earns about 7 or 8 times more than me. I work for his business 2 days a week which he pays me for, and I work another part time job 3/4 days a week. Those 2 days i will be at home (when we move in together) I think he expects me to do all (most of) the cleaning, washing ironing housework etc. I already do all the cooking and we dont live together yet, but spend every night at each others houses.

I dont mind doing the cooking cleaning etc as I dont like things being messy (bit of a tidy freak) but also some weeks (with his work included) I will be doing 6 days (he works 6 days every week.) So sometimes I dont know how I will get it done... its going to be tough i suppose.

He earns A LOT more than me he is very generous and would never ever see me go without, but I would never ask..... I'm happy to shop in primark and ASOS high street etc, he will do 1 or 2 big clothes shops a year in harvey nics at £300 a jumper....... and he goes out more than me, later than me and drinks soooo much more than me....
I like to save my money so I have something to show for my work and I can go out and indulge myself when i feel like (Take That tickets for example) he likes to spend all the money he has in his pocket and finds it hard to go without, he will always just buy what he wants when he wants....

What i'm trying to say is Its his money he works really hard for and built his business up for, I just wouldnt know how much to contribute towards the bills etc (I will be doing the food shopping) ????? (sorry for the long post)
ps (we have been together 3 yrs)

I think you will have to discuss it really. I had a friend who's situation was exactly like yours and it ended up that she did all the housework and bought grocery shoppings while he paid ALL of the bills.
She had no claim on the house though. Which is fair enough - now they are married however and she is at home with child anyway. Some man are like that (and yours sounds like that) - they earn money for the thrill of being able to and don't really care where or what it's spent on once is earned.

newlywed

tara747 wrote: »

It seems that the people who are most reluctant to merge their finances are:

1. Those who met their OH later than their early 20s (so have had everything their own way for longer)
2. Childless
3. Those with debts (so as not to affect the OH's credit rating)

Yes that would be very accurate on points 1 and 3. Point 2 - well OH has kids but I don't (other than having inherited his 2), so I fit number 2 but OH doesn't

Any

newlywed wrote: »

Yes that would be very accurate on points 1 and 3. Point 2 - well OH has kids but I don't (other than having inherited his 2), so I fit number 2 but OH doesn't

I got one second hand too:rotfl: He doesn't live with us though, he only comes for 7 weeks a year which we share with his gradparents.

hulagirl79

Hi
I just thought i would add my own thoughts to this thread

hubby and me have seprate accounts and a joint one, with the joint one all our joint outgoings are in there [ if he ever gets round to it]
Then with our own accounts what we have left is our own, to do with as we want.

Hubby earns nearly twice what i do so we split our contributions 2/3 him and 1/3 me.

This seems fair to me he still has over £1000 left per month to pay his loan[ its in his name not joint] and whatever else he chooses.

The food just gets paid as and when by whoever.

His work is a network manager doing 30 ish hours a week and mine is a nanny doing around 50-60 hours per week, i do all the washing and housework and therefore do not see a problem with him contributing finacally more than me.