creche

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

my daughter has just started creche one day a week in preperation of me going back to work. Now i knew she was going to cry when i left, and she cries when i go back to pick her up. But is there any way i can ease this or has she just got to get used to it. The staff have told me she cries for about 10 minutes when i leave then gets distracted. She has a few cries during the day and she SCREAMS when i go back and wont let go of my leg.

Is there anything i can do?

mumof4our

I have found that all of mine have been like this when they have been first left. They have all taken a few weeks to get used to it, my youngest about six weeks, but once they have settled in, they have all loved it and looked forward to going again.
Hope this makes you feel a bit better.

maemaesmummy

My DD started nursery initially at aged 2 for 1 day... it was awful.. the tears at leaving her there (and mine as well ) and tears when I picked her up.. within weeks she was eager to go and asked if she could go more..

She then started 3 days and now rarely even comes to the window to wave when I drop her off. She has comes on leaps and bounds and is so confident.

Its hard but she will get used to it.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

maemaesmummy wrote: »

My DD started nursery initially at aged 2 for 1 day... it was awful.. the tears at leaving her there (and mine as well ) and tears when I picked her up.. within weeks she was eager to go and asked if she could go more..

She then started 3 days and now rarely even comes to the window to wave when I drop her off. She has comes on leaps and bounds and is so confident.

Its hard but she will get used to it.

i sob my heart out all the way home then feel like a prat when i get stuck in traffic lol I know its good for her to go and she'll get used to it i just wish i could make it easier

maemaesmummy

Yes that was me... ringing DH sobbing that I am a bad mum!!!

Believe me, she will get used to it and wont ever remember the days when she used to cry...

DD always says so and so tweenie cried today but I dont know why.. and has no knowledge that the tweenie crying used to be her!

Also I found it easier when she was crying to just walk away.. the more I lingered the more she cried IYSWIM..

I also used to collect her with little treats every so often for being a big brave girl at nursery.. nothing major just crayons, book etc

onlyroz

Agreed that lingering does not help either you or the child. Give them a cuddle and kiss, hand them over then walk away, saying when you'll get back. If the staff say that she settles down after 10 mins then believe them. It'll get better - she just needs some time to get used to it.

Krystaltips

I've been either side of this... I used to work in a nursery and we would have children who absolutely howled and you'd be thinking 'Oh Mum, hurry up and go' because withing minutes the children had calmed down and got on with playing... Then when DD was the one that was howling, I became the lingering Mum!

It's an awful thing we have to go through as parents, and we have to face it sooner or later when they start school anyway... They do get better at it, it's just at the time it feels like forever!

cazscoob

its a hard one but i have to agree with everyone else drop her and go as she is just playing up to see your reaction. my son done this everyday o nursery and then when i hid and watched him one day he stopped crying and went away happily and played. DD started nursery in aug and we had 2 weeks of this and she was the only one in the class, i aske her why she cried and she didnt have an answer and i asked what would stop her crying and she said jelly baff. we bought this and she has never cried since!!!

Becles

My eldest son did this. He was a right drama queen! He'd be hanging on my leg and yelling "please don't leave me here with these people" and I'd shake him off and he'd curl up in a ball doing huge sobs and yell things like "I'm just going to scream and cry until you can be bothered to come back for me"

Apparantly the minute I was out of the building, he would get up and play with everyone else as if nothing had happened Never did get to the bottom of that one, but it stopped once he moved from playgroup into the nursery attached to school.

My youngest son was ok if I left him with the lady he liked best. I'd say "you go and play with Mimi, and I'll be back soon" and she'd cuddle him in as I left and he was fine. Does she have a favourite worker you can leave her next to?

mirrorimage0

my youngest used to love nursery and went form the age of two for 3 half days but hated it when he went to school, infact he is now in yr 2 (aged 6) and only goes in nicely if he is in breakfast club which starts at 8am but i dont mind that as i have to go to work anyway

Cissi

Both of mine have started preschool aged just over 2, and what a difference! The first had to be peeled off me, screaming - I'd cry the whole way home, only to be told that he was absolutely fine as soon as I'd left. When I picked him up he was happy and keen to go back but he'd be upset again the next time. He's done great at starting both a more formal preschool and "big school" since then though. The second one started today, and not a bother! He went straight in to play, nodded and gave me a kiss when I said I'd go away for a little while and come back and then turned back to playing.

As upsetting as it was at the time, I'm so glad that we persevered with no 1, because he really enjoyed preschool and it did wonders for his confidence. Apart from anything else I'm convinced that it would have been much more difficult for him to settle in school otherwise. I agree with those that advise you to avoid lingering if you can - they only get more upset, and so do you.

Stick with it, she'll be fine very soon!