taking 4 kids out at once and keeping everyone happy

Savvy_Sue

bestpud wrote: »

Oh yes!! I worry much more about other children I am looking after - I think it's because they are unpredicatable and we don't know what they might do in certain situations?

I make them sound like wild animals but you know what I mean! :rotfl:

I think that's it, isn't it? And if your own do something stupid, you can say "Well if you'd done as I said this would never have happened!" once you've recovered from the shock, but you can't really do that with other people's children ...

I hope to goodness there was a reason those poor children were wearing those jackets. Maybe they're NOT predictable, maybe they are prone to running off and hiding, but putting their names on did seem a little OTT. I used to help with an out of school club, and we would put badges on the children which had the club's mobile phone no. on, but NOT the child's name!

sarymclary

Hi,
I'm a mum of 4 boys, 16, 14, 10, 8. Now the older 2 are much more independent, when we come to do days out during the half-term, say, I send them off to the cinema, or give them some 'spends' if they want to go for a mooch around a shopping centre (we live in a very small village without shops, so it's a novelty), while I take the younger 2 off to an activity place.

When they were all younger, I found activity centres catered for all their ages, as there's a softplay area for toddlers, while they can run amock everywhere else.

I invest in a National Trust membership annually, which for about £60 gives us entry into all their nature reserves, stately homes, parklands, etc., so we go for days out, with a big picnic. The great thing about these places is that there's often activities/funbooks laid on for the children - so they have to do a quiz or treasure hunt around the house, there's often a playroom or dressing up room, and the whole while it's both entertaining and educational. Outside there are great open spaces to play (we take footballs/swingball/rounders/cricket), mazes, play areas with swings, slides, wooden forts, picnic areas, etc. We've gone to the coast to visit where the grey seals are, a red squirrels park, and lots more. There's a great guide book, and quarterly mag relevant to your area.

In the summer hols I take them on trips to bigger towns/cities. They love going to London, and I book a Travelodge for £15 p/night in advance during their offer times, close to an underground station. All 6 of us travel into the city for £8.50, giving access to public transport all day. We use the buses alot as they get to see more. Mine love the Science Museum & Natural History Museum. It needs more than 1 trip to each to see it all, so there's always a reason to go back. We've yet to go to the British Museum or Military one - we ran out of time. We've been on the HMS Belfast on the Thames, which is free to kids, only adults pay (still cheap).

While you've still got very young children, when deciding to go anywhere just make sure you allow regular breaks for the kids. Walking around is tiring for little legs, they get thirsty and hungry, and so grumpy as a result, and their attention span wanes.

I would also suggest when planning to go anywhere do as much research as possible beforehand, so the internet comes into it's own.

My top tip for keeping kids safe I decided to do when we were in the Science Museum, and it was very darkly lit. The little 2 kept wandering off ahead while we were looking at exhibits, so I wrote my mobile number in biro on each of their arms, in case they got lost. We have 2 way radios that we use outside, but I've now got cheap mobile phones for them when we go out for extra safety. They know to go to a person who wears a uniform, is at a cash desk, etc to report themselves missing, although my youngest cottoned onto this very quickly, and I have had my name called out on every tannoy system we've pretty much been to in the past 5 years, as he just loves the thrill of it! It took me pretending I didn't know who he was in the Maritime Museum and asking the lady at the customer services if she could take him home for the night, that put an end to it!! I don't know who looked more mortified, him or her!!

3KIDSNOMONEY

thanks everyone for all the advice and tips.

it is not just day trips out that i find difficult it is going anywhere! i love my kids and definitely wouldn't be without them, but sometimes think that those who opted to have only 1 child have it so easy!!!;)

sarymclary

3KIDSNOMONEY wrote: »

thanks everyone for all the advice and tips.

it is not just day trips out that i find difficult it is going anywhere! i love my kids and definitely wouldn't be without them, but sometimes think that those who opted to have only 1 child have it so easy!!!;)

I'd have to disagree with that. I took my boys to the fair last night, and they were able to go on rides together, whereas an only child family had to take turns who went on rides with him.

All my boys have had friends at one time or another who were either only children or much younger siblings (so effectively an only child). To compensate for them being only children, they seemed to be lavished with every indulgence possible, were taken out a lot to entertain them, and my sons were often invited along for 'company'. Nothing can compensate for having a playmate, especially one that lives with you!

Last week was half term here, but I didn't take my kids out once. It's not that I can't be bothered as such, but I wasn't constantly entertained by my parents, and children need to learn to entertain themselves. It was very cold here, and rainy a few days, so they pulled the Monopoly, chess, etc out, and played board games a lot. When the weather brightened up they played wrestling on the trampoline, or whizzed around on their bikes. They had friends come to play, and also went off out to friends to play.

Every morning at 9.05am there was a little lad at our door knocking for either of my youngest 2, who were invariably in their PJ's still, not had breakfast, and chilling out with their brothers. He has no siblings, and was desperate for some company. Given half a chance he'd have stayed here 24/7, but I knew my boys were finding it a bit claustrophobic having him here all the time, so I ended up as gatekeeper.

My best friend is mother to an only child, and says it is draining. When it's just the 2 of them at home she is the main source of entertainment, and that leaves little time for herself to do what she wants, even if it is only some DIY, or writing emails. She invites people round with other children, because the children go off to entertain themselves, and it gives her a break. Also, because her daughter doesn't have to fit in around other children, she expects more for herself, so if she doesn't want to go shopping - she simply refuses to go!

The benefits of being an only child must be that they can get a paren't undivided attention, and have been proven to be successful academically and economically. This can presumably be attributed to the fact that they have so much 1 to 1 nurturing, and that a parent's hope and dreams are all in that 1 child, so there may be more pressure to do well.

I saw Stephen Fry talk about this last week, as his mother didn't have his younger brother until he was about 18, and says he has never felt he had a proper sibling, as he had his parents all to himself for his whole childhood, so didn't have to share them.

As for generally going out, try to avoid taking all the children on shopping trips if you can, go while the older ones are at school/nursery. If you do have to go to the supermarket with all of them, only get the bare minimum you need then, make it a quick in/out trip, and do the longer shop without them.

Kids hate shopping, so try to do more online when they're in bed - I do all my Christmas shopping online, even though I can leave all my 4 boys at home together now.

I do remember how hard it can be when the children are very small, and I don't think I had a social life for about 10 years, especially as we could never get a babysitter for 4 boys!

Do you have access to a babysitter, or family who can help you out?

bestpud

3KIDSNOMONEY wrote: »

thanks everyone for all the advice and tips.

it is not just day trips out that i find difficult it is going anywhere! i love my kids and definitely wouldn't be without them, but sometimes think that those who opted to have only 1 child have it so easy!!!;)

Well, now my eldest has moved out and dd1 is 16, so pretty much does her own thing when it comes to going places, we feel like we have one child a lot of the time.

And, while I can see what sarymaclary is saying, I think it is lovely just having the one to concentrate on! It's a very different dynamic and, yes, you do have to get on rides with them and the like, but I really enjoy taking her out because we have no arguments between kids and we don't have to split ouselves or our time between different activities.

Not that I didn't enjoy taking two/three of them out, but I can tell you, it is hell of a lot easier with one!

But you know the biggest bonus, for us at least? There is no bl00dy arguing in the car, no matter how long the journey!! :rotfl:

FrankieM

When my 4 were younger we used to sing alot when ever we went out. Either 'however many green bottles on the wall' or 'one man went to mow'. That generally stopped whining. When shopping, I would give them items to go and get and then shopped online when I was able. We used to go to the same place but split up. My DH had the older 2 and I had the younger 2.
We do a buddy system when we go somewhere, even now, as my youngest, especially is prone to going 'walk about'. We put an older one with a younger one and they have to stick together.
we are very lucky in that ours enjoy spending time together and as a family and don't really argue.
I guess having a loose agenda is good too, then its not too stressful if you don't get everything done...if that makes sense.

sarymclary

FrankieM wrote: »

When my 4 were younger we used to sing alot when ever we went out. Either 'however many green bottles on the wall' or 'one man went to mow'. That generally stopped whining. When shopping, I would give them items to go and get and then shopped online when I was able. We used to go to the same place but split up. My DH had the older 2 and I had the younger 2.
We do a buddy system when we go somewhere, even now, as my youngest, especially is prone to going 'walk about'. We put an older one with a younger one and they have to stick together.
we are very lucky in that ours enjoy spending time together and as a family and don't really argue.
I guess having a loose agenda is good too, then its not too stressful if you don't get everything done...if that makes sense.

FrankieM sounds like you organise your 4 like I do mine. I always ensure car journeys have either activities, stories, games, music or now DVD's to entertain them. Bad behaviour in the car has never been tolerated because they've been taught it is dangerous to distract the driver. A few emergency stops helped reinforce that rule!

My older boys take responsibility for their younger brothers, and when in very big crowds, like on the London Underground, or when we took them to Wembley Stadium, my OH and I assign ourselves a little one each, so we only have to focus on 1. The older 2 have to keep themselves with us, and be an extra set of eyes/ears for the younger 2.

I would also say that younger siblings pick up speech and get mobile faster, because they see the others doing it. My eldest walked at 1, the rest were 8/9 months!

My younger 2 don't like being separated they are so close, and have chosen to have a double bed, in preference to singles or bunks, because they like to snuggle up! We have the singles/bunks waiting for them to change their minds, but they have yet to. My 10 y/o had his school trip today, and chose to buy his little brother a present with his spending money.

It is reassuring for me to know that when I am no longer around to care for them, they will all still have one another to love them unconditionally for all their lives.

smurfy75

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