Please help - I'm literally paying to work!

MyLastFiver

You say you don't have the strength to apply for other work right now, and also that you don't socialize, you don't have friends, you spend just £40 per month on groceries (What do you eat? Bread and water?). It sounds to me like you are depressed, because you're in a very luxurious position but you don't seem to know it!

You are actually very well-off, in that you are almost mortgage-free and you have no others debts. There are millions of people up and down the country (me one of them) who would love to be in your position. You could pay off your mortgage tomorrow with the money you have in the bank.

So despite being the envy of millions, you have chosen to make your life miserable by spending all your spare money on travelling to a job that you hate, that is badly paid, where they treat you badly, and (by your own admission) is not going anywhere. Why on earth would you put yourself through this? I ask again - what is your line of work and how will working in these conditions, and making yourself miserable, improve your career?

This is madness. Wake up!

If you paid off your mortgage and didn't have to kill yourself travelling to that crap job, you would only need £250 per month to live on (according to your own figures which I think are on the conservative side). You could work one or two days a week, working locally, doing what you like, and earn this. With the rest of your time you could start a business. Go freelance. You say you are a post grad. You could publish articles in whatever field you are qualified. Write a book. Do tuition. Lectures. You could save up and go travelling. Volunteer for overseas aid work. You could take driving lessons. Take up cycling. Enter a marathon. Go online and find yourself a partner. Because, unlike most of us on these boards, you are debt free. You are FREE. FREE FREE to do what you like.

You just don't realise it!

When did you become the sort of person who didn't want to make a fuss, did as she was told, and saw everyone else have all the fun? Please forgive me but this is how you come across. I would guess you have been like this from childhood, and perhaps school and/or family life was difficult for you for some reason. Well, all those years of prudence and sacrifice have paid off for you now; you are highly-educated and have a paid-for house. No-one is telling you what to do. That voice saying "be good - don't make a fuss" is all in your head.

Why do you not socialize? Is it because you worry about money, or because social situations make you uncomfortable? Either of these areas can be addressed. I hardly know you but I like you already! And I'm sure plenty of others do too.

Look - I've probably said more on a public forum than you're comfortable with. But I want to help. PM me if you want to talk more about anything I've said. It's the internet - we're all nice and anonymous :cool:

Here's lookin' at you, kid :beer:

poorandindenial

Suzkin

I have just been rereading some of the posts on this thread and I am struck that you seem to want to be in a field that is quite competetive or at the very least niche, in which case you need to mark yourself out from others as you try to get permanent roles.

Your current employer may not want to give you more stretching tasks because they are thinking of you as a temp and so they don't want to invest in training you or give you anything that would fall down if you didn't come back tomorrow. They might also be the right organisation for you to develop your skills but they may only need a temp to clear a backlog of some sort of work (although you will know this more than any of us as you are there right now).

Have you spoken to the people that have the sort of permanent jobs that are in your career line and asked them what they look for in people that they take on permanently?? Have you worked out the key skills that you need for the role that you want (over and above straightforward qualifications) and then tried to perhaps gain experience in those areas through other routes.

I hope this didn't sound harsh or patronising (I couldn't get a feel for how much experience you had in your chosen field) but without knowing what sort of field you are in it is difficult to fully understand the challenges you are facing, I guess my point is that while it is very important to sort out your immediate problem, what extra things are you doing to sort out the problem in the long term so that your outlook is a bit sunnier?

whitewing

mylastfiver, if the OP is nearly mortgage-free then she still needs many thousands of pounds for the building work on her house (from some of her other posts). So there is still a need to have a reasonable salary.

tsstss7

I don't know if this might help with your accomodation problem but could your second job be house or pet sitting whereby you stay at someones house and look after it for them for a week or maybe longer there's bound to be loads needed in london. Failing that there was something similar (can't find it now)where long term rentals were advertised for very minimal rents as they are strange places to live - but they want people in for security reasons. Maybe someone else here can remember the name of that website?

Also if you work 4 more hours a week I think you would qualify for working tax credit (although I don't know how much) could you maybe do self employed work eg babysitting to bump up your hours?

whitewing

tss, you're talking about house sitting, I think. Can't remember the website, but have a feeling that although you can leave the property, it shouldn't be at regular times. (May depend on the house though)

MyLastFiver

mylastfiver, if the OP is nearly mortgage-free then she still needs many thousands of pounds for the building work on her house (from some of her other posts). So there is still a need to have a reasonable salary.

We don't know exactly how much she needs for building work, but she has £19000 in the bank. She could do the building work with this.

If she needs to save more than the £19000 to pay for the building work then paying £450 a month to travel to London for £8.50 an hour is not going to get her to her target.

Her mortgage is only £160 per month, which is hardly a burden, even if she did not pay it off. Adding the cost of the mortgage to her outgoings would make it £400 ish a month. Her travel costs to London more than double this figure. Even without repaying the mortgage she could work part-time locally to pay the bills, and use her spare time to do something more rewarding/worthwhile. This in my opinion would be preferable to flogging herself to death in a job she hates, out of some sense that it is the "right" thing to do, when clearly it is not.

milliemonster

whitewing wrote: »

mylastfiver, if the OP is nearly mortgage-free then she still needs many thousands of pounds for the building work on her house (from some of her other posts). So there is still a need to have a reasonable salary.

She's got £19,000 in savings!!, how many thousands does she need to do up her house????

Suzkin

Thanks for the last two messages. Very interesting.

MyLastFiver: Sorry I 've not replied sooner, I've not eaten yet...just been surfing MSE site...

I am as I am: I'm not trying to 'make out' as if I'm the underdog etc. I have had very difficult work situations as mentioned earlier, regarding my previous jobs, - even recruitment consultants have told me they would not employ me as I've 'moved about' quite a bit on my CV, and I suppose over the years I've simply lost confidence in myself. Whilst my line of work could be seen to be quite 'traditional' and not very well paid, I'm discovering that people in my field tend to really 'get on' via who they know rather than on pure 'substance' merit, which leaves a chill up my spine..

I'm not sure whether I've said this, but my house needs major building work: approx. £30-40k or more. As I'm on a very low income, I'm liaising with the Council for a loan (which would be secured against the house i.e. the Land Registry). They say however, that I would not be able to let the property under any circumstances if I go ahead and have the work done. This makes it difficult for me, as I would want to pay them back (the Council says it hads to be in one lump sum) and rather not sell up, having nowhere to go.

I haven't contributed to a company or stakeholder pension for over 8 years, and this is worrying me - as I try to be careful with money, I've just not earned much over the last several years.

I suppose I do feel rather fed up. This morning I actually thought that I'm living like someone who is retired: only without the weekly payments. Even the weekly pension payments would be more than what I currently have?!

It scares me to think that if I DID pay off my mortgage, I would only have 12 months of savings to live on (at £250 per month). And that would be it i.e. I would have nothing else in the world. This is my life savings.

annamc75

Does your chosen career actually have a real future? What I mean by that is is there a good progression path and a lot of opportunities out there for heading up the ladder?

It sounds like you are putting yourself through a lot of pain for very little and certainly nothing that seems to be progressing yourself.

Can your chosen career be something that you would be able to do self employed? Or does your career skills have multiple applications that can be used in other similar fields?

I would be tempted to post as much info as you can about your skill base and your job wants and see if some bright sparks here cant give you some ideas - sometimes you just cant see the woods for the trees.

Re: your property - you havent said what kind of work is needing doing - is it an old property? Sometimes older property can have council funding available to them if they need certain works doing. Or if not how about renting it cheap to someone who is willing to do the work that needs doing? I know a friend who did this - the property needed a mass overhaul decor wise and the tenant did the work in lieu of rent (decor, paper, paint etc being pre agreed between the two of them)

Suzkin

The work includes the following:
- damp proof course throughout whole house (and making good etc.);
- weatherproofing whole house
i.e. internal thermal insulation on walls at front and back elevation; double glazing throughout including front and back doors; external rendering front and back elevations
- rewiring throughout
- demolishing utility room (the wall actually 'buckles') and rebuilding so it has a cavity wall.
At the same time, I wanted to bring the bathroom downstairs (and so free up the double bedroom).
-remodelling the kitchen. It's a safety hazard as the oven is near the door/window etc.
- levelling the floors upstairs and downstairs
- replacing joists in the front room downstairs (where the floor slopes)
- making good/replacing ceilings which are bulging / have holes in them.
- fixing bits of the roof that currently leak.
- repairing a large internal wall (front bedroom) where the plaster is bubbling (from penetrating damp).

The house is 1860s terraced.

The BIG problem is that I have no income generating capability, so couldn't get any other loan from high street or mortgage lender. I WAS hoping to be able to let a room, or the whole house, but the Council will not allow this. If I ever went via the mortgage lender for a loan to do this, then my overall debt would be greatly increased, I would need to change the mortgage to a 'buy-to-let', and then if I can't keep up the payments, I'd be repossessed!