***Daily Chat Nov 2nd, 2008***

LouiseJ

I agree he sounds lovely but I can also see the reasons why he is your ex and should remain that way.

I have been with my OH since I was 16 and sometimes feel that I was far too young:o

spud30

skint_spice wrote: »

and also likely to be a witch Lou! (scottish folklore anyway) I'm allergic to dustmites and grass pollen and I'm a brunette.

You reminded me, I'm allergic to tree and grass pollen too :rolleyes:

Gemmzie

I'm a brunette. I'm allergic to animals too, always have been. Couldn't stay at friend's houses as a kid as I'd have really severe reactions in my eyes.

Burlesque_Babe

It's pollen and cats for me. Horrendous hayfever and if I'm in a room with a cat for anything more than a couple of hours I get itchy eyes, sneezing etc. If they scratch me, I get big red welts.

spud30

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

to be honest spud, he is a nice man, decent and honest. I still feel guilty at splitting, but the last couple of years were very 'destructive' for many reasons.

The problems which split us up were meeting very young (19 and 24) and getting to 30 and35 and being different people. That, in hindsight, now could be worked on. However, there are things that could never be 'right'. His attitude to money is never, EVER, going to be anywhere near mine for lots of reasons. A year ago (as one example), Ihelped him move his 10k of CC debt onto 0% cards and told him that he had 12 months to really work on reducing it. I gave him lots of ideas and pointers. 12 months on, the rates have ended......and he now has 11.5k of CC debt. Only problem is now - not as many 0% deals around and they just aren't accepting him, so he has probably half on 0% and the rest on around 15%. I couldn't go back to being in the financial environment he likes to live in. He isn't flash or anything - he has a 1991 Honda, but he does like to have very nice food in the fridge all the time and when we were together, spending £100 a time a the supermarket was 'normal' (and then returning in the same week to spend £70 or so) and this has reduced a bit, but not changed enough.

His salary is 32k...........and he never has any money for anything unless it goes on the CC. At one point, we were earning over 40k between us in the late 1990s and we STILL didn't have any money.I've now learned a million and one things about money management, all due to MSE, I do wonder if MSE had been around 10 years ago, many of the tears and sleepless nights for me could have been avoided.

He also has a mistress..........alcohol.........and she was a hard task master at the time we split.

Exes are always exes for a reason hun. He just seems to treat you a whole lot better than OH

Gemmzie

Oh yeah, pollen, dust, grass too. Seriously, why have they never referred me?!

I agree with Spud totally above.

Burlesque_Babe

We had a lot of good times spud, which I do miss and we are now good friends.

However, alcohol can make people do some........not very nice things to other people.........:(

I can't see he would ever go back to that level of 'problem' because I can now see much of it was due to the level of problems within the relationship, but the money thing would be hard to live with. He's had the hall laminated this week, £100 plus materials he doesn't have, just because he wanted to, but he's done it anway, I couldn't go back to that kind of impulsiveness.

No. He's a person I'd never see in trouble, but he's not someone I could ever be with again, but he will make someone a good partner when he does get together with someone else.

Gemmzie

You BB are lovely and deserve so much more from your current OH

Burlesque_Babe

awwwwwwwwwww, thankyou Gemmz, you're making me blush!!!

I will say, I'm hardly an angel. Some of the problems were obviously my doing leading to the split, just as much as his, it's sad really that we didn't have a way of sorting some of the stuff out back then, but that's the way it went and 5 years on, it's just a case of moving forward.

Burlesque_Babe

just had a text. They are about 30 miles away, so I reckon about 45 minutes they will be here.

I've just put a chicken in the oven to roast for dinner. I've told OH dinner will be at 7 and I would like him to be here for that time - at the latest. A mild tantrum ensued (eat without me) but I said that him not bothering to be here 'because the grand prix is on' was rude and bad mannered