Hidden Disabilities Time To Fight Back

pipple

I have read this topic over the last few weeks and would like to share what only happened to me today.

I have a hidden disability and as such have a blue badge. I always try and park in normal spaces, as I always feel there maybe someone in greater need of a disability space more then me. Today I had parked in a street in my local town. I put my badge correctly in the window. When I got back to my car, I found to a couple our more senior population, looking at my car. I knew what was coming. Has I went towards my car, I started getting shouted at by the gentleman, accusing me of using someone elses badge. I calmly showed him my badge with my photo on. He then accused me of faking my disablility and that he will report me to the local community support officer. I asked him how he knew I was faking it. He then proceeded to tell me, that you aren't disability if you not under 70 or not wheelchair. Again he threatened me with the community support officer. Who is a personnally friend of his. I then proceeded to lets go 1 better and compare doctors records and see who's the more deserving. His wife kept tapping my door with her stick. When I told her to stop, she said I'd verbal assulted her and was reporting me. She also told me that her son's taxes were probably paying for my car and she as every right to do anything to it. That's the other problem, I drive a 2 seater convertible, but I brought it cause I work full time. I sick of hearing this country discrimates against people over a certain age, maybe some of those people should respect the people round them, then they will get respect.

Sorry for my rant, but I'm hoping there are people on here that will understand.

peediedj

pipple wrote: »

I have read this topic over the last few weeks and would like to share what only happened to me today.

I have a hidden disability and as such have a blue badge. I always try and park in normal spaces, as I always feel there maybe someone in greater need of a disability space more then me. Today I had parked in a street in my local town. I put my badge correctly in the window. When I got back to my car, I found to a couple our more senior population, looking at my car. I knew what was coming. Has I went towards my car, I started getting shouted at by the gentleman, accusing me of using someone elses badge. I calmly showed him my badge with my photo on. He then accused me of faking my disablility and that he will report me to the local community support officer. I asked him how he knew I was faking it. He then proceeded to tell me, that you aren't disability if you not under 70 or not wheelchair. Again he threatened me with the community support officer. Who is a personnally friend of his. I then proceeded to lets go 1 better and compare doctors records and see who's the more deserving. His wife kept tapping my door with her stick. When I told her to stop, she said I'd verbal assulted her and was reporting me. She also told me that her son's taxes were probably paying for my car and she as every right to do anything to it. That's the other problem, I drive a 2 seater convertible, but I brought it cause I work full time. I sick of hearing this country discrimates against people over a certain age, maybe some of those people should respect the people round them, then they will get respect.

Sorry for my rant, but I'm hoping there are people on here that will understand.

saying her sons taxes pay for your car and she has every right to do what she wants to it is well out of order!!!!!!!!!!!! i wouldnt of kept my cool i would of taken her stick and stuck it where the sun dont shine,either that or phone the police,bloody cheek

homealone_2

i feel somewhat "lucky" having read some peoples posting, i thought i got it bad! i too am disabled and 98% of the time i am confined to a wheelchair if i leave the house at all (dont always make it that far) and so have been lucky to have had some, at least, people open doors or serve me first at a shop etc but when on some occasions i try to manage on my crutches when using my wheelchair is not possible people look at me as though i have just picked them up as a fashion accessory or a chancer at best hoping for priority treatment as my problem is my back so as others not immediately noticed. i take extra morphine when i need to go out to make the journey not quite so terrible but am still in constant pain but because they cant see a plaster cast of some sort i must be ok and if i get offered help in shops, airports etc i get daggers from everyone. my daughter is i know really embarrased by the stares i just feel angry or on vunerable days really upset. my husband left us a couple of months ago and feeling destined to a life in my bedroom, alone or having to find other methods of getting out i have tried to make a couple of journies in my car recently, have not driven for 5 years, and as a blue badge holder have parked outside whatever establishment and have walked/stumbled while holding on to my son to the door (he has a disability himself and is having problems managing the wheelchair) and the stares and mumbles of how unfair it is, is really putting me off leaving the house at all. it was bad enough before but my husband would just push on undeterrd by their comments or stares and i would be sat in pain and in tears wishing i had stayed in. but my son who has mental problems as well is more like a 12 than 18 yr old and cant understand why people are being so nasty and staring and it then makes me feel awful putting him through that. all i have managed so far is little trips to nearby cafe or local shop so thought as little walking was needed or a chair needed it would give me and my son some quality time together to just try and be a normal family for half an hour or so. i thought my main problem to doing this would be overcoming the terrible pain while trying to appear to be "ok" to my son but i am finding the general public are far more off putting than any pain. am i expected to just stay in in future or use wheelchair 100% of the time to show i am disabled? or should i wear a sign around my neck expaining in full detail my disability? i thought prejudice against anyone was far less experienced in these days of enlightenment but i am obviously wrong

spora

hello,

i have no where near got it as bad as some. I also havent recieved any abuse because of my disability because i dont have a bluebadge or anything. Being able to jump the queues in busy shops would be an absolute godsend, but i know this wouldnt go down well with people. Sometimes i get so tired i just leave the shop and will go back another time.

Anyway, i posted on the disability forum a while ago and everyone was really nice execept for one person (will leave you to guess who).

Heres the link: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1371787

I dont understand why people feel the need to comment on things they clearly dont know anything about. Fair enough if i was claiming benefits for no reason, but in my case i think i'll stick to my doctor and neurologist's advice rather than some idiot on MSE.

I would never dream of challenging someone about their disability its disgusting. I can't believe people (seems to be mostly elderly) think they know better and have to right to treat people like rubbish.

Sorry stuff like this makes me angry. I wish everyone the best for 2009

edit: i would just like to say that i dont think theres anything wrong with people asking, for example, why they are parking in a disabled space (not that the person has to answer to random members of the public) but its when they start shouting at them and not listening to why the person has parked there.

keelyjrs

Hi spora
I really wouldn't worry about the stupid comments you got from pbs. There are, unfortunately, some people on this site that just like to wind people up and cause trouble, to me ot says something about the amount of time on a person's hands!!

It is horrible when people judge when they don't know the facts. My own family members have accused me of being lazy or lying about my illness as I so often look ok!! We may have illnesses that cause us grief, but at least we aren't ignorant eh?!!

The elderly seem to be the worst at shooting dirty looks at us young'uns for parking in disabled spaces lol. I just try to ignore it now, hard I know.

Take the support on here and enjoy the lighthearted banter of those in the know, and as for people who just want to cause trouble, let them get on with it, you got more important things to deal with mate

Keely x x

spora

thanks

i wasnt moaning in particular about pbs, i was just using them as an example. Ive been on here a couple of months now and have seen quite a lot of unecessary abuse. Which is a shame because the board has the potential to be a really nice place.

You said "We may have illnesses that cause us grief, but at least we aren't ignorant eh?!!" which is very true. At least we can hold or heads up and know that we are nicer people.

Thanks for the kind response. It really does seem to be a case of the odd few spoiling it for everyone else.

Sorry to hear about your family giving you grief. My family used to make jokey comments about my illness and not take me seriously. They basically thought narcolepsy was just something in the mind that can be overcome if i really tried. Even though i tried to explain serval times that this isnt the case. So i did some research online and basically made a little summary sheet about it. They actually thanked me for doing it. They didnt realise that i cant help that i have narcolepsy its not something in my mind, there is a biological reason for it and i cannot just 'push through' my tiredness. Now they understand it they take me seriously. Perhaps thats something you could try if you havent done so already.

black_paw

hi . I have a hidden disability , i think if you can't get the DLA , you should be able to park nearer to shop entrance, as its very hard to walk, to far to the door and totally worn out by the time you get there. I have since found out the if your registered disabled ( i am registered deaf which = disabled ) you can get the FREE bus Pass :j the nightmare begins ! :eek: i don't look over 60 s , can't see hearing aid's , and talk ok. young looking pensioner the drivers say , mmmmm mmmm well least save money on bus fares now

pipple

I got told by an ex-policeman, anyone who gets abuse regarding their disability should report it, as its something thats not reported enough.

Jamla, if the bus driver says anything again, ask for his/her name or if they won't give it, ask then for the unique bus number. Then report the abuse to the bus company.

Think this is my new yrs resolution to stop ignorant people, thinking they are right and can say what they like.

angelvoice222

pipple wrote: »

I got told by an ex-policeman, anyone who gets abuse regarding their disability should report it, as its something thats not reported enough.

Jamla, if the bus driver says anything again, ask for his/her name or if they won't give it, ask then for the unique bus number. Then report the abuse to the bus company.

Think this is my new yrs resolution to stop ignorant people, thinking they are right and can say what they like.

or even better take a picture of the driver!!! i get alot of abuse from people when out and about so i have now set my mobile phone up so when the keypad is unlocked i can just press the up key and record EVERYTHING being said then ring the police... anyone abusing you becasue of ur didsability is breaking the law and its called a disability hate crime!!!!

Trialia

I have both mental and physical disabilities, and they're all invisible unless you see me on one of the days when I can't make it out of the house or a bad day when I've had to because I have no choice (I live alone). I'm young and look healthy, and sometimes that's a disadvantage!

Rapid-cycling bipolar disorder (non-specific type), fibromyalgia, generalised hypermobility syndrome, asthma and migraines with a whole list of triggers, as well as lower back damage. It's all a mess, and I'm on six different medications every day, but I get a ton of crap from people older than me for seeming healthy but taking a disabled seat or a free one when there aren't many left, or when there's an elderly person standing, for putting my bags on the seat next to me (leaning forward to lift them off the floor is painful and difficult and I have a phobia of being touched so try to keep people away wherever I can)... so on and so forth. I'm not in a wheelchair yet and can't use a cane due to my FM, so sometimes I end up leaning on my umbrella and adapting it as a makeshift cane, and people give me such glares for that.

Why are people so cynical and lacking in compassion for their fellow humans? We didn't ask to be sick.