Sorry - really long thread....

UKroseblue

Pink_butterfly wrote: »

Well, I don't really have any useful advice to give you but maybe this might help you feel a bit better?

Your ex sounds just like my 'Dad'. He used to maintain regular contact with me, it then started to get less and less. I barely saw him, he let me down at every opportunity. My Mum never bad mouthed him, never tried to set me against him. She just protected me and much as she good, and as I got older, I saw the real him.

I'm 26 now, with a husband and two children. I've never had any relationship problems and/or issues, lol. I have a fantastically close relationship to my Mum, who I love to bits. And my Dad? Well, hes never met his grandchildren and all I can say is its his loss.

You sound like you're doing a fantastic job. Your daughter will eventually see your ex for what he is, and as long as she has your love and support, she won't need anything else. If he wants to miss out on his wonderful daughter growing up, then its his loss and no-one elses.

Thanks for this-it has reassured me that she will grow up and have confidence in herself despite her father!

She is blossoming into such a great person with loads of really nice friends and a great sense of humour. I hope we stay close (teenage years just starting though!) and continue to have a good relationship and as you all say - i can't control what he does, just be there for any fallout but it just seems so needless to me as a little of his time would make such a huge difference to her and I can't get that through to him...

Thanks again for all your replies.

chatnoir

Hi,

Just wanted to add something as I also have been in the postion your daughter is now in. My parents split when I was 5 and for the first few years i would see my dad every weekend, then he met someone and it changed to every other weekend. Then during my later teenage years the visits became none exsistent and now at 23 I barely see or speak to him. I love my dad but have grown up with the feeling that myself and my brother come second to his new family which can be abitter pill to take. All I can suggest is that you support your daughter as much as you can, you may be the one she takes her anger out on, as I know I was horrid to my mum sometimes but you can't take it personnally. I had a hard time finding good relationships with men and saught coucilling for it, and It was only then I relised that its not my fault and my dad doesnt hate me its just the way things turn out. I'm sure that when he was younger he didn't expect to get married and have kids that he barely saw. Your daughter just needs to understand that things don't work out the way we expect and unfortunetly you can't false someone to have a relationship with you, she just needs to get on with own life and if and when she sees her dad she has to cherish those moments for what they are and be realistic about is abilty to be there for her.

Sorry I can not offer any practical advice, but if your daughter is having such a hard time then maybe a councilor would be good for her

all the best to you both xox