how to get my husband to leave

bonnie_2

I haven't loved my hubbie for years. I have always paid all the bills with the tax credits even though he went to work and i paid the debts of and carried the household and he has always taken my jobs away by looking after the children and doing the housework to make himself look good in front of other people.
Last month i slept with a friend but even after that he won't leave and insists on staying.
He says he loves me but i don't love him, i have always paid for the holidays and days out and arranged everything, now he is on the dole he is driving me nuts.

uganda

You'll have to explain yourself a bit better than that Bonnie. So far it just looks like he has been a house-husband for long periods. The work situation is confusing, when he was at work did he not contribute financially to the household? How has he taken your jobs away? Do you mean household jobs/child-care? That makes him sound like a good father/husband.

I'm sure he's actually a good-for-nothing waster,Bonnie. But please explain in what way!

bonnie_2

I'm trying to say, that he is making me dependent on him by doing everything for me. He thinks that he can make me helpless. yes he hasn't actually done anything wrong as in beating me up and going of. But i feel like i am in a prison with someone i can't stand next to me.
When he was at work he paid the rent and council tax and all the other bills were left for me to pay out of the kiddies money.

Oldernotwiser

So he worked to support his family and looked after the children and did the housework as well. As a reward for this you slept with somebody else.

I hope the poor sod realises what a *** he's married to and finds someone else who deserves him!

MrsTinks

Sounds still like he's actually a good husband - trying to make up for not working by doing everything for you because he's not able to provide for you and the kids. If you want to divorce him and the house is in your name then simply tell him you want a divorce and please move out by x date - don't sleep around to try and drive him out - whether or not you love him... that's just cheap.

If the house is in joint names then obviously it's harder - you'll need to arrange for it to be moved into your name on the rent agreement if you can and again - give him a date that he has to have moved out by.

Oldernotwiser

Or perhaps it might be better for YOU to go and leave them in their own home with their father.

RoxieW

this has to be a joke, right?

Sagz_2

If you are as unhappy as you sound could you not leave?

Jo_F

If he is out of work, and doing so much around the house, then why dont you find a job? That way you are not around 24/7 and you are bringing some money in

Pssst

Bonnie-i think perhaps leaving the love thang aside,what you might actually mean is that you no longer have any respect for him. Part of this might be because he has been too good and maybe too compliant in the past. He has never been assertive or independant. It probably wasnt either of your faults,it just crept up on you but now it seems you are determined to rub his nose in it big style and he may just be at a loss as to why you are doing this?

As you say,perhaps to save un-necessary hurt on both side,one of you needs to move. If you are both joint tenants,you both have a right to reside so why should he make himself homeless because you are no longer happy? have you considered the possibility of moving?

And what of the other guy you had sex with? Is he single and if not,what about his partner?

ZootHornRollo

it certainly sounds to me like he has done nothing wrong. Sleeping around makes you the wrong 'un.

get you bags packed doll....

why should he go for supporting his family?