What is causing me to feel like this?

Jo3y83

Hello everyone
I am 25 years old. I have wonderful parents, a fantastic boyfriend, good friends and a good job, although it can be very boring.
More often than not though, despite the lovely things I have listed above, I find myself feeling 'unhappy' for no real reason. My mood can change in a second and there is no justification for it. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 1 year and he is my best friend but I tend to take things out on him when there is no need. He never does anything to provoke me. I'm in debt, which I will be free of in 2011 (cannot wait for that!), but it has caused me to feel low before. I am an Administrator and I earn v. good money but the job itself is very boring and I seem to spend a lot of time sleeping as my brain falls asleep about 11am so by the time I get home I'm mentally shattered. I can't really leave this job as I need to concentrate on clearing my debt before I start afreash. Sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed to go to work. It is very frustrating for me and people around me as I don't know what causes me to be like this. I have been in a violent relationship prior to the one I'm now, for which I saw a counsellor. This did help but my self-confidence is still lower than it should be. I seem to think I'm no good at anything. I seem to keep failing things, even my driving test, that I have now taken 4 times. Could I be depressed? If I am it holds no reason, I have everything I could ask for. It's getting me down. My moods are very hard to shake and sometimes I just cry for no reason.
I apologise for the v. long thread, I just needed to get this out. I feel so lost.

Thank you.

flissh

Awww, your post has made me feel so sad. It does sound as if you might be depressed. Can you go and see your GP? Is there a doctor in your local practice that you can talk to?
You say you were in an abusive relationship before, well that can certainly sap your confidence, and can take years to recover from.
Also, it is great that you are working on your debt, I hope you feel really proud that you are getting on top of that. I'm not surprised it has made you feel down at times.
Please talk to a professional about how you feel. Try keeping a small journal about how you feel, and when you get at your BF, jot those feelings down.
Good luck.

mooma_2

Sorry to hear you are feeling down. Believe me, there are people in much worse circumstances to you! - but even people with everything can feel down sometimes.
Perhaps see your doctor and discuss how you feel?

bargainbird

:grouphug:

Go to the doctor's it sounds like you are depressed, sometimes there is no obvious reason, but talking helps.

Don't be afraid to go to the doctor, it took me 2 years......

Jo3y83

I know there are lots of people worse off than me and I do recognise I'm very lucky in many ways but for some reason I don't think much of myself. Thank you for your advice. I am glad I'm on top of the debt, it's been a really problem in the last few years. I had a mortgage with my ex boyfriend but after we split up he took the flat but I didn't get anything out of it as we were in negative equity to start with. I couldn't afford to keep the flat and as he earned more than me he took it on. It really set me back. I also ended up paying his solicitor's fees as he claimed he couldn't afford to pay them and threatened to sell the place and put me in a lot more debt than I was in.
I don't think that helped matters.

Errata

If you think you might be a bit depressed why not have a chat with your GP ? Or have you considered you might be bored stiff with everything at the moment, you know like "same old, same old" ?

How about trying a new hobby or interest - something that really challenges you ?

Jo3y83

I think it might be a case of me being bored stiff too. Nothing much changes and it's frustrating at times. I've spoken to my GP before and she sent me to A&E thinking I was suicidal, which I wasn't! Made things even worse. I would like to go back to my doctors but I'm slightly concerned that they will put me on medication and I'll get addicted? Or am I just being synical?

frugallass

it sounds like you have some of the symptoms of mild depression and this can easily be dealt with by your GP - take a list of all your physical and psychological symptoms and and be as honest as you can

good luck and keep us updated x

Jo3y83

Thank you very much for your advice. I'm a bit crushed that I might be slightly depressed as my life is pretty good considering what other people go through. I just can't seem to get myself out of this rutt :mad:

Errata

Jo3y83 wrote: »

Thank you very much for your advice. I'm a bit crushed that I might be slightly depressed as my life is pretty good considering what other people go through. I just can't seem to get myself out of this rutt :mad:

Does your life at the moment have some hight spots and some low spots, or is one day just like the day before and will be exactly the same tomorrow ?
We all need something enjoyable to do and to look forward to, not least because it usefully prevents us sitting on the sofa ruminating about stuff and not changing anything.

How about decorating your bedroom for Christmas ? Or teaching yourself how to bake or knit, or have a bash at making some cushion covers ?
You can do any or indeed all of this on a budget, and tracking down the cheapest ingredients / materials will give you something else to be interested in.
Do you get any exercise? Walking and jogging to get fit and keep fit costs nothing and is very good for your mental health.

Jo3y83

Thank you Errata. I exercise every week and I do feel better after doing it. Every day I seem to have a 'low' period every day and it's sooo hard to drag myself out of it. Sometimes I just lay on my bed, staring out of the windowm trying to figure out why I feel like that. I never seem to get an answer. I think I will go back to my GP. I think I might try and find a hobbie for myself, on a budget of course. My relationship is starting to suffer and I refuse to lose the best thing that's ever happened to me.