The "talk the economy up" thread.

Anne3333

Nah, just read the small print in their contracts D/D, the tariff year is only 6 days and then they sculpt the reduction of 48% and it actually turns out to be 148% INCREASE!

But on a good note, and in line with this thread, if you threaten to take them to court, they will pay you off, to silence you, with the equivalent of 1375 bags of chips!

tomstickland

ID cards will be the key to prosperity says government minister.
"With the national identity database and ID cards we will be able to analyse your spending patterns and how you use your time in great detail. Personal lifestyle compliance officers will then be able to make sure that you spend your time and money in the manner that our esteemed leader has decided is best for you. This will provide a massive boost to the [strike]welfare state[/strike] economy. It will be the end to bust, it will be boom and boom. All of society's problems will be fixed by being tough on crime, tought on the causes of crime, and tough on any causes that are left after we've been tough on the causes. It will be location, location, location as the key to helping our hard working school children achieve their full potential in the asbo marketplace, with core key competancies in important subjects such as health and safety and diversity. We will also set yourselves the carbon target of 0.1% of the 2008 levels by 2050"

Conqueror_2

The fundamental of our economy are strong!

Anne3333

Politicians, Investment Bankers and FSA regulators have agreed to be placed in stocks for a week. The purchase of rotten fruit will soar and market gardens will flourish.

DirectDebacle

Santa Claus is Dead.


The recently formed Ministry of Mirth, set up to jolly the populace through the recession has officially announced that Christmas has been cancelled.

This shock news will dampen what was expected to be a bumper Christmas as the population prepares to celebrate the arrival of the festive season together with the departure of the alleged recent recession.

The newly appointed Minister of Mirth, Ebenezer Gumby looked genuinely upset as he made the announcement.

In a short statement he said, " I have to report that two weeks ago we received information from a Swiss hospital that they put down a 164 year old male at his own request. The reason being he was heartbroken that no children would receive presents this year because of the recession. He has has been named as Mr. Nicholas Claus. It is regrettable that he took this action before it was realised there was no recession. The announcement was delayed until we were sure that this sad event had been confirmed. Mr Claus had no surviving family other than a small herd of reindeer which need to be taken care of".

"Venison makes a pleasant change from turkey" added Mr. Gumby.

The news sparked a sharp rise in stocks of the Gun n Game sector on the Dow Jones. 'Bambi 2 Go' the huge white tail deer farm conglomerate in the U.S. did particularly well.


[IMG]http://browsei.com/upload/Pictures/direct/santa-is-dead-children-death-xmas-santa claus.jpg[/IMG]

Davesnave

Conqueror wrote: »

The fundamental of our economy are strong!

Which one?.....or is it rude to arsk?

Nikkster

Anne3333 wrote: »

I am hoping my Boom will be ENORMOUS!

Enough small boom lets boom the boom
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Pdnm4rCUUkM

I know he fixed it so there would be no more boom and bust, but just in case that didn't quite work out maybe Gordon would like to be our Boom King?

DirectDebacle

Anne3333 wrote: »

Politicians, Investment Bankers and FSA regulators have agreed to be placed in stocks for a week. The purchase of rotten fruit will soar and garden markets will flourish.

If the stocks are as robust as the ones they sold then they will collapse under the impact of the first rotten apple.

Anne3333

If the stocks are as robust as the ones they sold then they will collapse under the impact of the first rotten apple.

But lets be honest, Mr Brown is not the first rotten apple we have had!

Anne3333

Mr Claus had no surviving family other than a small herd of reindeer which need to be taken care of".

I volunteer to adopt Donner, I am vegetarian, so no chance of him being turned into a kebab.