can anybody help please?

Me_Myself_2

My heart goes out to you babe. Hugs and kisses. Keep your chin up.

halloweenqueen_2

Right, sharing the info doesn't look like a possibility. Borrow a pound from your daughter and open the account.
Without sticking my nose in are you sure you want to stay with the OH?
Easy to say you'd be better off without, but the heart very often rules the head.
If the benefits are in your name its a simple thing to change the account they go into, your ebay stuff can go in there as well.
CAn you open up an ebay account under a different name?
Be careful if he has access to your emails that you delete any private messages and if you can do it so you don't get alerts on here as if he follows the thread he is going to see exactly what you've written and then you may have fireworks before november.

atlasview

thanks for that advice in*the*red. you are right, i really cant sit down and confide in him. CAB sounds a good place to start. family is a no go and i dont actually have any 'friends' as such. i am pleased i have made a positive step - it is going to be very hard - but if i can just begin to negotiate with companies rather than hide, its a huge move forward.
does anyone have any info regarding negotiating with banks. owe 800.00 to lloyds TSB. this is almost entirely made up of charges accrued over last 2 years. had an AOL subscription that i never managed to access, and i just had no luck cancelling it. all the failed DDs add up! have finally managed to cancel and got a 95 pound compensation payout from AOL (i didnt see a penny of this...!OH paid into savings). he knows i owe lloyds, but thinks just 300.00. i have managed to get lloyds to allow a payment of 8.00pm towards this (i no longer have use of the account at all) and my OH does give me this 8.00 (sorry forgot this in my outgoings) .....however i got a quarterley statement yesterday which shows interest is still being added on at 11.23 per month. so i am moving backwards, not forwards!!
any advice?

atlasview

hopefully no early fireworks as all links to this site heavily disguised!thanks all

atlasview

OMG...just opened a basic bank account at Natwest over the net. for me that is a big thing..and proof to myself that this is going to be a fresh start!!! thanks for this idea everyone. i might sound a simple decision to make, but when you are low - everything seems confusing. hugs 2 all who posted me

skintchick

Hi honey - I do think you need to seriously consider whether you are scared of your partner, and if so, whether it is healthy for you to be in a relationship with him.

The real issue here doesn't seem to be the debts.

We're here for you.

squiggles

Sorry i have no advice about your money problems but wish you lots of luck.

sending you lots of hugs xxxx

Jen_Jen_5

unfortunately you might find it hard to deal with this advice but your OH is liable for some of these debts whatever he or you may think.

He is just as liable for council tax including the arrears as you are and as such all the creditors will want some of his money - i know this creates huge difficulties but they will attach his earnings if they dont see payments. I can see the rock and a hard place you are stuck under but the creditors will not allow him to put £1000 a month in savings and owe them money when its his debt too.

and yes you are right if he passed over the benefits money that is claimed in your name (carers allowance, dla, child benefit and tax credits) then you would be able to reorganise the budget to cover the essentials and then make offers to creditors. perhaps presenting him with the budget of what needs to be paid and what you actually get may make him realise that what he is giving you is simply not realistic and he is living in worry free lots of money land and you arnt.

big hugs - and the bank account is just the start, get those benefits redirected to yourself now.

mummytofour

Can you just conferm the child benefit? do you mean £65 per week?

Well done on all you have done so far, I do agree with another posted who asked if its just the debts or the relationship. But I also feel that nobody can judge until you have walked a mile in the other persons shoes.

I guess you feel that you can only handle one issue at a time and now its the debts, Fist off I would get all the benefits paid inti your new account so OH cant get to them, thats if thats an option?

Keep posting, and keep your chin up your doing a fab job.

Vxx

atlasview

hi mummytofour, child benefit is 62.60... x