Separated but financially tied

tiggertoo_3

Hi all

This is my first post (and a miserable one at that!) so I hope its in the right place.

My husband has left last night after I found out about yet another dalliance with another woman (this is his third infidelity _pale_ but I think I have learnt a lesson now!) and he will not be coming back. I work full time but I earn rubbish money so I have asked for a Housing Benefit pack, Council Tax rebate and the WFTC and the one they give you for kids going to After School Club will hopefully be restarted - they stopped it as they 'overpaid' me but thats another story! He cleaned out £250 from the bank account last night so I had the card stopped so he can't get to that any more. Stopped credit cards etc. Problem is, we have joint loans and credit cards and the payments come out of our joint bank account. Where do I stand with these? He told me via a rather nasty email this morning that I could stick the repayments up my a**e. He has changed his details at work so his wages are paid into his own account so come this time next month, I will be stuffed!

ANY advice would be greatly appreciated!

Tigger

scoobydo_2

hi sorry to hear what your going through been there !!!! not sure i'm too much help but any bills in your name your liable for and have to pay . bills in your ex husbands name are his to pay . Careful my ex kindly put all the bills in my name with out even telling me and more alarming the companies let him !!!!
I would talk to the laon companies and ask their advice and have your free session with a soliciter just to find out legally where u stand .
i am in a low paid job but with working tax and child tax cedit i am ok but I do get maintenace .
feel free to pm me

tiggertoo_3

Thanks for that quick reply! All the bills were in my name anyway and luckily I have never got round to putting his name on the council rent book so he cant touch the house. He stopped my mobile phone as that was in his name but thats no biggie as I can use my daughters phone instead. Major panics this morning where he had changed all the passwords to my email (and then deleted them!) and then proceeded to change the passwords on everything, including my Paypal account which was heart stopping but luckily I called them and they sorted it all out. So I am back to normal as far as all that is concerned. Maintenance isnt an issue as he is not the father of my kids which again, is a relief given the circumstances. So really it is a clean break except for these blasted loans and credit cards. Guess its time to call the bank and the creditors and tell them the whole sorry story

Is there anything else I should be doing? Apart from kicking myself for letting him stay after the first time!

thanks

Tigger

Prudent

Make sure the tv license is in your name. If he changes the address on this you could find yourself with a fine. Also make sure that insurance policies for the house have been paid.Make sure he doesn't put a mail redirection on your mail too. These are some of the gems from my ex, will let you know when more come back to me!
Its a horrible place to be. Hugs to you

hjb123

I hope you get everything sorted. It must be a hard enough time for you without all this hassle.

I would do as the above all say, even maybe write a list of all the different bills and accounts you have and make sure that you have covered everything the cheating beggar (I would be calling him everyname under the sun if I were you and none of them would be able to be written on here!)

Dont get yourself too worked up about it, sit down, have a nice big glass of your favourite tipple, even make a dart board with his face on!

H

Js_Other_Half

http://www.iammoving.com/ could serve as a reminder of everyone you might need to notify to prevent him causing you any more bother?

You might need to let council tax know that he is being a pillock - they could put a note on your account to prevent him messing you around - cos you'll be entitled to single person discount now?

kit

Go the the CAB or local law center to get some advice. Its a hard situation to be in.... its best if somewhere like the CAB writes letters to the loan and credit card companies to explain the situation and see what they can work out.

I really do feel for you. Hope it all works out ok.

sandra_3086

I am sorry if this comes out wrong, but i am so pleased to hear that I am not the only person out there that have suffered finicial pitfalls due to thier ex.
My ex husband kindly walked out on me and his three young children nearly three years ago!!! He fell out of love with me (ah well what he really meant that he was sh***ng some tart at work, anyway I manage quite well on my own as I have a full time job that pays well, and he pays me £60.00 a week when he feels like it, or when he hasn't had to pay a gas bill, or mot bill, or off work sick the excuses are endless.What annoys me is that I tried to order an item from a catalogue the other week and it came back that I failed the credit check. I was horrified as I have always paid my bills. It appears it is an outstanding bill in my ex's name that is causing the problem, and he is still shown as connected to my address and finacially connected to me!!!

I bought my house before I met him and have never put his name on the mortgage, although I accept he still may have a claim on my property!!!

Can anyone advise how I can repair my credit status and get rid of him being connected to my address.

He has lived elsewhere for the last three years and refuses to tell me where he is living, not that I want to know apart from forwarding it to all the debters he left behind!!

please help

Rikki

If you contact the credit reference agancies they can send you two forms. One is a letter of disassociation and the second is a notice of correction. They are so you can give details of his new address and show that you have no joint financial commitements.
These records are then kept on file and when a credit check is done this information is made avaliable to those making credit checks on your behalf.

Becles

You can fill in a report form at Experian to let them know there is no longer a financial connection between you and your ex.

Click on the link on this page:
http://www.experian.co.uk/consumer/faq/TT1.html#q518

They will contact the other agencies on your behalf to update them of the situation, and sever any wrong joint links that are still on their records.

It's quick and easy to do. I went through the process when I was still linked to my ex.

innovate

In addition to all the other advice: change the locks on your outside doors!

And stay strong, you and your kid are better off without him :grouphug: