Just had OR interview and I'm scared

CluelessJock

coolcait wrote: »

:rolleyes:

Having perused your communications with due care and attention, I find that your caveat: "not all debt situations [are] self inflicted" was easily overlooked amidst phrases such as:

"GROW UP"
"they did not put your arm up your back"
"until we take responsibility for our OWN actions".

You/one should not be surprised that anyone should take your/one's comments as a generalisation, given that they are couched in in terms of 'sweeping generalisation' - as one might say.

Taking the lead from the UN - those wordsmiths who can obscure meaning through judicious use of semantics; but who - on the basis of your post - are but dilettantes in comparison to your esteemed self:P:

- being happy to bandy semantics with anyone; having no fear of multisyllabic terms; and happily parsing without the least parsimony;

- cognisant of the apparent serendipity of the appearance of a pseudo-pretentious 'jock' newbie at a time when this 'jock' has herself had cause to discourse on the failings of this medium of communication, and the failings of the English language - specifically in the area of how to express the 'general' third person singular/plural, without resorting to the use of 'one';

- aware of the existence of alleged Scandinavian fairytale creatures on these commnication fora;

- acknowledging that the aforementioned fairytale creatures, in their internet guise, subsist on the crumbs of recognition dropped to them from the pedestrian thoroughfares which pass above their abodes

I am nevertheless impelled to say:

I think Rylinn made a very good point. Why not answer that point directly, rather than trying to hide behind waffle?

A Jock I may be, a wordsmith certainly not. I am simply a realist without any misconceptions of grandeur and as for being a newbie, what can I say?

Pray tell what point you believe I have sought to avoid and I shall do my utmost to answer.

So_Sad_Angel

CluelessJock wrote: »

STOP IT, STOP IT

Enough please, of the bank kept giving me money line, GROW UP they did not put your arm up your back, etc. etc .etc. One might feel like they deserve a holiday, however unless one can afford it..............

Whilst I have every sympathy for the initial poster I feel that until we take responsibility for our OWN actions then we will never sort out the many issues (financial and otherwise) in our lives.

That is; it is only when we ourselves accept that we are responsible for our situation that we acknowledge we can do something about it, as long as we blame a. n. other we will, subconsciously or otherwise, feel circumstances are outwith our control.

Look simply at the events that lead to most, but not necessarily all, financial difficulties, they are directly or indirectly due to one's own actions.

The initial poster needs help and support, and I understand that my comments may seem harsh, however rather than being told not to worry and told stories by others in similar situations to make her feel better in the short term, it is only the reality that can be acted upon for the long term benefit!

Hi CJ,

I agree that -

1/ we are all in charge of own own decision making.

2/ we take responsibility for each situation we find ourselves.

3/ finiancial situation, good or bad, is down to ones own making.

4/ yes we borrow ...the banks lend...albeit sometimes lending without application (& this is my personal gripe)...ie non requested credit increase,automatic overdrafts..etc

I would just like to note that actually the decision to take bankruptcy is ultimately one`s own...taken only with professional advice ( Courts do not just `allow` it!) . I see this step as taking responsiblility and feel that your `grow up` comment was a little harsh.

SSA

shadowdragon

CJ

Of course its the person who is in debts responsibilitie and yes they did make the decision to borrow money. But...

Financial instutions spend millions on advertising "consolodation" of debt, its on the TV day in day out. They advertise it as a way out of debt, a solution to your finaancial problems. So when you have financial problems see advertisments aimed at you, emulating your life. You take them up on there offers.

Advertisements work, otherwise companies selling anything would not use the media, and there wouldnt be 300 channels of repeats either, just to generate advertising space.

My point is that the OP and many like them are receiving harsh bankruptcy decisions (BRU/BRO) for looking after there families and giving them a standard of living, where big buisnesses (like the banks that have gone bust over the last few months) know they are insolvent yet the CEOs paythemselves and there directors massive bounuses at the detriment to the company, yet they dont receive any punishment (seizing of personal assetts, prosecution for fraud/financial mismanagement).

Thats before we get onto individuals who hide assetts/dispose of assetts and have no BRO/BRU enforced.

My point is they system for Individual Bankruptcy doesnt work, theres no CONSISTENCY!!!

Grow up? - pfft, doesnt warrant a reply.

dalip

M4

Not sure if you realise but a lot of people get confused over this issue. A bru just places bc restictions on you for a longer period, than the normal 12 mths, you will still be discharged from bc 12 mths from the date of you petition.

Time to get back to the original poster me thinks;) .Dx

CluelessJock

shadowdragon wrote: »

CJ

Of course its the person who is in debts responsibilitie and yes they did make the decision to borrow money. But...

Financial instutions spend millions on advertising "consolodation" of debt, its on the TV day in day out. They advertise it as a way out of debt, a solution to your finaancial problems. So when you have financial problems see advertisments aimed at you, emulating your life. You take them up on there offers.

Advertisements work, otherwise companies selling anything would not use the media, and there wouldnt be 300 channels of repeats either, just to generate advertising space.

My point is that the OP and many like them are receiving harsh bankruptcy decisions (BRU/BRO) for looking after there families and giving them a standard of living, where big buisnesses (like the banks that have gone bust over the last few months) know they are insolvent yet the CEOs paythemselves and there directors massive bounuses at the detriment to the company, yet they dont receive any punishment (seizing of personal assetts, prosecution for fraud/financial mismanagement).

Thats before we get onto individuals who hide assetts/dispose of assetts and have no BRO/BRU enforced.

My point is they system for Individual Bankruptcy doesnt work, theres no CONSISTENCY!!!

Grow up? - pfft, doesnt warrant a reply.

Shadowdragon,

You open with one sentence on how it is the individual’s responsibility and proceed to explain in detail how it is everyone else’s fault.

To feed my family I would do what is necessary, including stealing and would not fault others for doing likewise. However you are sadly mistaken if you think most debt is run up looking after their families basic needs. I don't pretend to know percentages but reading between the lines, in MOST cases, it simply seems to be irresponsible spending.


In my opinion your post typifies the current trend to explain the facts away with weak argument whilst pretending to accept responsibility. This is clearly detrimental to the people needing the help.



My intention was to help, however as my help is not wanted I shall butt out and leave you all to massage each others wounds.

jo70

My intention was to help, however as my help is not wanted I shall butt out and leave you all to massage each others wounds.

Let's face it we are all entitled to our opinions-but i think CluelessJock's last paragraph was a little patronising-in my opinion

maxmycardagain

coolcait wrote: »

those wordsmiths who can obscure meaning through judicious use of semantics; but who - on the basis of your post - are but dilettantes in comparison to your esteemed self:

i dont trust the jews either

is this what your trying to say?

[SIZE=+1]Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=+1]As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=+1]If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=+1]Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=+1]Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=+1]Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=+1]Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
[/SIZE]

[SIZE=+1]With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.[/SIZE]

milliemonster

I am not bankrupt, nor am I facing bankruptcy, yet I have a lot of unsecured debt hanging over me which (fortunately) I am so far in a position to be able to slowly pay off, but I feel compelled to say something here.

Yes, my debt is due to irresponsible spending, I wholly accept that and I want to pay it all off, every penny, but what happens if tomorrow I lose my job? and god forbid my husband loses his?, all of a sudden our income goes from £4k a month to benefits until we find work?? what then?? how do we pay the mortgage and the everyday bills? we would be facing a very different scenario

All I am saying is that we live our lives as we do, we buy houses, take on a mortgage and while we are working that's great, but sh** happens, people divorce, lose their jobs and have to face the real possibility of BR, it's not because they have been irresponsible, they've just had incredible bad luck. So I guess you could say well don't buy a house if you couldn't afford the mortgage, but if we all did that then the whole country would fall apart as no-one would ever buy a house (apart from the lucky people who can pay with cash!) just in case they might someday lose their job and not be able to pay for it, is that what we should do? does that mean we are all irresponsible?

I do blame the banks and lenders! and while yes we may have spent irreponsibly, but CJ is completely blinkered if he thinks that a lot of debt is not built up by paying for basic needs, this is a real situation for many people who have failing businesses or who have lost their job and have no alternative in desperate times but to use credit to LIVE

I hate credit with a passion now, it has blighted most of my adult life so far and I am trying to sort it out, my parents generation were very different, no-one had credit then and debt was frowned upon, but that's because it wasn't freely available! if it was then you're not telling me that no-body would have taken it?

dalip

You can all shout at me as much as you like but i do see where CJ is coming from.

6 mths before i went bc i tried to do a consolitation loan,got refused Deep down i knew even if i got it i would still be in the !!!! but it meant i would not have to face up to it for maybe another 6 mths or so.

I accept that regardless of my circumstances I was the the one who took out the credit,I was the one who spent the money,I was the irressponsible one,not the banks for not knowing i was in trouble. How any of us have applied for credit and when we get asked "have you any other cc?" replied NO. How many have exagerated their income to obtain credit?;) . Just 2 examples before anybody jumps on that

Oh and so it's the banks fault for not checking, not ours for not being completey honest.:rolleyes:

I know there are exceptions to every rule so please no shouts of "i never did that". I am talking from personal experience and generalisation.

We have to accept that we are responsiblefor our own actions until we do we will not move on and learn from our experiences.

Ok folks got that off my chest. My hands are shaking whilst typing that as i have never been so openly honest in my opinion of this particular issue.:o Dx

Itsallgonepearshaped

Hi Mummy4,

I'd just like to apologise for my posting in relation to your thread. It seems to have opened a big can of worms and hijcked your thread for an arguement which has nothing to do with your situation. Sorry !! Perhaps we could move the arguement postings onto a new "Who's to blame" thread ??