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How to approach the school, Re:appropriate education
Zziggi
Posts: 2,485 Forumite
I could really do with some guidance with how to tackle my DDs school please.
My DD has just turned 5 and is relatively bright. She used to attend a nursery attached to a school (school A), they recognised that she was reading/writing etc above what was expected of her age and that she was getting bored in nursery so they moved her up a year and put her into the main school with the older Reception class (that school divides the reception classes by birthday/maturity). She got on brilliantly, really enjoyed it and it stimulated her.
When it came to applying for a school place for DD, for a number of reasons, we applied for her to go to another school (school B). I don't want to sound a snob but the problem with school A is that its intake is from a socially deprived area with all its associated social problems. Also the junior school which the kids move onto after school A is diabolical! The nursery is absolutely brilliant and school A itself is pretty good given what environment many of the kids come from but I didn't really want DD staying there when it wasn't necessary as we weren't technically in its catchment area anyway - we're just in the catchment area for school B. I can't fault School A for what it did for DD, they treated her brilliantly and the staff went out of their way to accommodate DD's learning needs. I know it is highly unusual to educate outside of the normal year group.
Anyway she got a place at school B, nice school, better area good OFSTED etc etc. School B are aware of how school A tackled my DD, they are aware she has already done a reception year. Anyway she started last month and School B take a different viewpoint to school A. School B belives that kids should stay in their year group because of social development and for the formation of friendship groups. They say that the teacher has to differentiate in the classroom anyway so they can accommodate DD in the reception class. They also pointed out that if they pushed DD up a year then what happens at the end of Y1 (i.e. she'll have done Y2 work but can't move on to the juniors a year early - although no-one has ACTUALLY checked that is true). I want to just point out that i agree with School B's position and i support it up to a point. Friendships and social development are important and i don't want DD to be a geek with no social skills. However I really really don't think the teacher is "differentiating" enough. DD is complaining she is bored stiff, asking to go back to her 'old school' (school A) and is often saying she has tummy ache to not go to school. In fact twice already she has persuaded the school first aider that she is ill so i have been rung up to go fetch her only to find nothing wrong with her but school insist i take her home because she is 'poorly'. She's getting a touch difficult at home and doesn't want to read her school books. She complains that she doesn't want to read them because they'll just give her some more & doesn't want to do her spellings because 'they don't do them in her class' (i.e. she sees no point in reading at her level and sees no point in doing spellings when her class are still learning the jolly phonics sounds in class). She'll still read HER books at home but not school books. I worry she is being put off school already.
I would really like to know how to tackle the school and if there are any outside agencies that could help. I ought to add that i like school B and don't want to fall out with them at all - i just am concerned in this instant they aren't doing all they could. School B knows what School A did, they know she has already done the reception year sucessfully (and School A reported she was practically highest performer in the reception year although a year early). School B said they are classing DD as 'special needs' (not statemented though) although this is because she is at the top end of the spectrum rather than because she is 'backward' but then in the next breath they say they cannot get any extra money for my DD as she is flagged up as special needs but not statemented. I also thought i ought to add that DD is currently being assessed for mild ASD but this manifests in behaviours, food, sensitivities.
Can anyone suggest how i tackle the school. I don't want to make it sound like i am telling the teacher she can't differentiate - i don't blame the teacher at all as she has got a full 30 kids and a wide range of abilities in her class with a couple who are 'backward' and a couple with health probs that inpact on their education so she has her work cut out with 'differentiation' as it is. Her class teacher is the School's SENCO.
Any suggestions (please!!)?
Am I right in thinking that kids can't go on the G&T register until they are 7 years old? (therefore no extra funding, classes or help until she's in year 3)
Is it worth trying to bring in the clinical psychologist she sees for ASD assessment as she has assessed her as bright - would this help?
Thanks for listening
My DD has just turned 5 and is relatively bright. She used to attend a nursery attached to a school (school A), they recognised that she was reading/writing etc above what was expected of her age and that she was getting bored in nursery so they moved her up a year and put her into the main school with the older Reception class (that school divides the reception classes by birthday/maturity). She got on brilliantly, really enjoyed it and it stimulated her.
When it came to applying for a school place for DD, for a number of reasons, we applied for her to go to another school (school B). I don't want to sound a snob but the problem with school A is that its intake is from a socially deprived area with all its associated social problems. Also the junior school which the kids move onto after school A is diabolical! The nursery is absolutely brilliant and school A itself is pretty good given what environment many of the kids come from but I didn't really want DD staying there when it wasn't necessary as we weren't technically in its catchment area anyway - we're just in the catchment area for school B. I can't fault School A for what it did for DD, they treated her brilliantly and the staff went out of their way to accommodate DD's learning needs. I know it is highly unusual to educate outside of the normal year group.
Anyway she got a place at school B, nice school, better area good OFSTED etc etc. School B are aware of how school A tackled my DD, they are aware she has already done a reception year. Anyway she started last month and School B take a different viewpoint to school A. School B belives that kids should stay in their year group because of social development and for the formation of friendship groups. They say that the teacher has to differentiate in the classroom anyway so they can accommodate DD in the reception class. They also pointed out that if they pushed DD up a year then what happens at the end of Y1 (i.e. she'll have done Y2 work but can't move on to the juniors a year early - although no-one has ACTUALLY checked that is true). I want to just point out that i agree with School B's position and i support it up to a point. Friendships and social development are important and i don't want DD to be a geek with no social skills. However I really really don't think the teacher is "differentiating" enough. DD is complaining she is bored stiff, asking to go back to her 'old school' (school A) and is often saying she has tummy ache to not go to school. In fact twice already she has persuaded the school first aider that she is ill so i have been rung up to go fetch her only to find nothing wrong with her but school insist i take her home because she is 'poorly'. She's getting a touch difficult at home and doesn't want to read her school books. She complains that she doesn't want to read them because they'll just give her some more & doesn't want to do her spellings because 'they don't do them in her class' (i.e. she sees no point in reading at her level and sees no point in doing spellings when her class are still learning the jolly phonics sounds in class). She'll still read HER books at home but not school books. I worry she is being put off school already.
I would really like to know how to tackle the school and if there are any outside agencies that could help. I ought to add that i like school B and don't want to fall out with them at all - i just am concerned in this instant they aren't doing all they could. School B knows what School A did, they know she has already done the reception year sucessfully (and School A reported she was practically highest performer in the reception year although a year early). School B said they are classing DD as 'special needs' (not statemented though) although this is because she is at the top end of the spectrum rather than because she is 'backward' but then in the next breath they say they cannot get any extra money for my DD as she is flagged up as special needs but not statemented. I also thought i ought to add that DD is currently being assessed for mild ASD but this manifests in behaviours, food, sensitivities.
Can anyone suggest how i tackle the school. I don't want to make it sound like i am telling the teacher she can't differentiate - i don't blame the teacher at all as she has got a full 30 kids and a wide range of abilities in her class with a couple who are 'backward' and a couple with health probs that inpact on their education so she has her work cut out with 'differentiation' as it is. Her class teacher is the School's SENCO.
Any suggestions (please!!)?
Am I right in thinking that kids can't go on the G&T register until they are 7 years old? (therefore no extra funding, classes or help until she's in year 3)
Is it worth trying to bring in the clinical psychologist she sees for ASD assessment as she has assessed her as bright - would this help?
Thanks for listening
0
Comments
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Thought I also ought to mention she is writing full sentances, able to do the spelling tests that Year 2 at her school get. She is following the ORT reading scheme, she's on level 9.
At home we do "other" things - baking, going for walks, taking her to interesting places, museums, kids activities, farms, stately homes etc etc so she gets a wide range of experiences that aren't academic.
We don't want to move her back to School A from School B because of the 'social deprivation' aspect but also because she has older sibling in School B and also School B is the feeder school to a decent juniors and then that is a a feeder school to a decent secondary school which we are in the catchment for. If she went back to school A she'd be in a school that feeds a diabolical juniors which feeds to an even worse secondary both of which are not our catchment area. Our LEA assesses school places with catchment being stronger criteria than siblings or any other factor (excluding SEN statement & in local authority care).
I don't want to home educate.0 -
Hiya
My first thought when reading the post is that it talks only about your daughter's educational skills and not her social skills.
Has she made any new friends at School B? Did she leave a 'best friend' behind at School A? It may just be a settling in period and DD is feeling a bit isolated. However acedemically bright she is, that doesn't mean she is emotionally advanced (gosh this sounds as though I am lecturing you and I really don't mean to - completely undersand your concerns).
Have you had any friends from School B round for tea ? I know at that age it was me who 'made' friends for my children, usually based on whether I liked their parents :rotfl:
My real concern would be her not wanting to go to school and trying to get to the root of it. Placed with the SENCO is fab although I know as a parent govenor chairing the SEN committee at my DS's school that for all the G&T strategies in place, they don't happen without funding, which just isn't available.
It sounds as though you are offering your DD plenty of outside activities to keep her interested and busy so well done you. I would just monitor the situation until say Christmas (remember some of those in her class will only have just turned 4 and have very different needs atm) and foster those friendships
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Very bright children get bored very quickly if not stretched academically and it is normal for a gifted child to have asynchronous development, so she may be gifted in reading for example but may be very sensitive or find it hard to write for example. So it is useful to have an assessment done, especially if school aren't catering for her.
However, the assessment is quite long and doesn't always give a true representation of her talents and problems until they're about 6 or 7. However, a child can be placed on the G&T register at any age, though that may or may not be useful depending on what the school do for bright kids, and how they assess them. (Gifted children aren't always the ones getting good grades.)
Do call the NAGC. They are extremely supportive and have a number of strategies to help.
I have spoken to lots of parents with gifted children and one of the more frequent problems seems to be that children quickly switch off from education through keeping them back so they don't become too different. If she is gifted, she already IS different and without the right nurturing it will cause problems.
It is rare for schools to take the step to move a child up a whole year, so if she handled it well, socially and intellectually, it makes a bold statement about her and her needs. The NAGC can help. I wish you luck.May all your dots fall silently to the ground.0 -
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Hiya
My first thought when reading the post is that it talks only about your daughter's educational skills and not her social skills.
Has she made any new friends at School B? Did she leave a 'best friend' behind at School A? It may just be a settling in period and DD is feeling a bit isolated. However acedemically bright she is, that doesn't mean she is emotionally advanced (gosh this sounds as though I am lecturing you and I really don't mean to - completely undersand your concerns).
Have you had any friends from School B round for tea ? I know at that age it was me who 'made' friends for my children, usually based on whether I liked their parents :rotfl:
My real concern would be her not wanting to go to school and trying to get to the root of it. Placed with the SENCO is fab although I know as a parent govenor chairing the SEN committee at my DS's school that for all the G&T strategies in place, they don't happen without funding, which just isn't available.
It sounds as though you are offering your DD plenty of outside activities to keep her interested and busy so well done you. I would just monitor the situation until say Christmas (remember some of those in her class will only have just turned 4 and have very different needs atm) and foster those friendships
Thanks for the reply.
She has made some friends at her new school and she talks about the other children in her class. In the first week she complained she had no-one to play with then she played with some Y2 kids, then started 'mothering' a little dot in her class and now plays with a group of girls, one of which she went to her birthday party and the another little girl she knows from a local kids activity she goes to infrequently on a weekend. She does have friends and i have asked her if she has friends and likes the children. She had friends at her old school and i did wonder whether it was the social aspect of School A that she was missing. She'd started mothering a little girl there whose mum walked out on her to go to spain with her new boyfriend and left her with grandma and never came back (i felt so much for that little girl). I was so proud of DD with being a friend when this little girl cried at school. The things some 4 year olds have to go through. That little girl is at school A.
I have asked her if she wants to invite a friend round to play but just gave me the name of a girl in Y2. She seems to be snubbing the kids in the reception class a bit (and i have concerns about this). I am trying to help her on the social side of things because i am aware most kids in her class went to a different nursery to her so she is a bit of the odd-one-out.
LIke you, the bit that worries me most is her not wanting to go to school because she is bored, but how can i say this to the school without sounding a bit 'off'?0 -
Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »
Do call the NAGC. They are extremely supportive and have a number of strategies to help.
Thank you G-R, I'll check out your links later on today.
Thanks again0 -
My son didn't like reading the school reading scheme books either as they were well below his ability.
I just told him to read them as quickly as possible, get them out of the way and then when the reading scheme was finished he would be allowed to choose his own reading material (which was the case in his school).
This worked well, but he was a bit older than your daughter - about 7.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
I could really do with some guidance with how to tackle my DDs school please.
Anyway she got a place at school B, nice school, better area good OFSTED etc etc. School B are aware of how school A tackled my DD, they are aware she has already done a reception year. Anyway she started last month and School B take a different viewpoint to school A. School B belives that kids should stay in their year group because of social development and for the formation of friendship groups. They say that the teacher has to differentiate in the classroom anyway so they can accommodate DD in the reception class. They also pointed out that if they pushed DD up a year then what happens at the end of Y1 (i.e. she'll have done Y2 work but can't move on to the juniors a year early - although no-one has ACTUALLY checked that is true). I want to just point out that i agree with School B's position and i support it up to a point. Friendships and social development are important and i don't want DD to be a geek with no social skills. However I really really don't think the teacher is "differentiating" enough. DD is complaining she is bored stiff, asking to go back to her 'old school' (school A) and is often saying she has tummy ache to not go to school. In fact twice already she has persuaded the school first aider that she is ill so i have been rung up to go fetch her only to find nothing wrong with her but school insist i take her home because she is 'poorly'. She's getting a touch difficult at home and doesn't want to read her school books. She complains that she doesn't want to read them because they'll just give her some more & doesn't want to do her spellings because 'they don't do them in her class' (i.e. she sees no point in reading at her level and sees no point in doing spellings when her class are still learning the jolly phonics sounds in class). She'll still read HER books at home but not school books. I worry she is being put off school already.
I would really like to know how to tackle the school and if there are any outside agencies that could help. I ought to add that i like school B and don't want to fall out with them at all - i just am concerned in this instant they aren't doing all they could. School B knows what School A did, they know she has already done the reception year sucessfully (and School A reported she was practically highest performer in the reception year although a year early). School B said they are classing DD as 'special needs' (not statemented though) although this is because she is at the top end of the spectrum rather than because she is 'backward' but then in the next breath they say they cannot get any extra money for my DD as she is flagged up as special needs but not statemented. I also thought i ought to add that DD is currently being assessed for mild ASD but this manifests in behaviours, food, sensitivities.
Can anyone suggest how i tackle the school. I don't want to make it sound like i am telling the teacher she can't differentiate - i don't blame the teacher at all as she has got a full 30 kids and a wide range of abilities in her class with a couple who are 'backward' and a couple with health probs that inpact on their education so she has her work cut out with 'differentiation' as it is. Her class teacher is the School's SENCO.
I am not sure what you are trying to achieve at your chosen school with 5 year old DD
Do you want her to go in to the year above with older children or are you hoping that she gets statemented so that she will qualify for funding for extra money for tuition?
I know it is not easy to get a child statemented certainly at such a young age (my BIL is a clinical psychologist)
I've got a 4 year old (just started in reception) and a son in Year 1 and they both pulled the ill at school routine at first and did the bored thing (though not because they were far advanced education wise just because of their ages)
5 is really young - what are her social skills like? - i.e. could she cope with being placed with older children?0 -
There is no extra funding for high ability children and as far as I know, unless there are other difficulties they don't get statemented.
It sounds like the OP just wants her child to have lessons appropriate to her ability.
(Every gifted child matters too.)May all your dots fall silently to the ground.0 -
I have asked her if she wants to invite a friend round to play but just gave me the name of a girl in Y2. She seems to be snubbing the kids in the reception class a bit (and i have concerns about this). I am trying to help her on the social side of things because i am aware most kids in her class went to a different nursery to her so she is a bit of the odd-one-out.
It sounds to me as though she is missing her friend from School A and struggling a bit to break in to already formed friendship groups. Are you able to chat to other parents at the school gate? Maybe an after school or weekend trip to a local park or soft play centre could work to help the others get to know your DD and get you to know the other mums.
I would also speak to the teacher to voice your concerns about the social side of your daughter's time at school and ask who she seems to spend time with in the classroom. It may be that the teacher could make sure that she is in with the same group of children for a while to get them all to know each other.
Aren't children a worry? I wish I could say it gets better but as DD1 is now 17, DD2 15 and DS 12 I have completely different worries about their happiness and safety :rolleyes:0
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