vent about vent

sweetnskint

see still argueing about another matter... point proven.

THE_LONE_RANGER_4

Not until the other person made a sweaping statement.

RadoJo

I think the problem often boils down to anoymity and intepretation - someone posts something as a newbie, an old-timer pops up and tells them they've got unreasonable expectations, but the newbie has no idea of that person's intentions, and feels as though a strager has singled them out in a public forum and attacked them. I would say that at least 90% of the time they do have good intentions, but then there is always the problem of misinterpretation, lack of clarification, details which would be relevant but haven't been given etc, so even when someone does mean to help they might get the wrong end of the stick, or give someone advice which isn't appropriate once you know a little more detail.

Then there is interpretation - people may have a perfectly reasonable view, but express it in a way that others find harsh. For example, I tend to agree with a lot of what UKTim posts, but I do recognise that sometimes people need handling with kid gloves when they feel hard done by, so even if they are in the wrong, it can be more constructive to say 'I understand how you feel, but...' rather than a blunt 'Your expectations were unrealistic' - not that the viewpoint is invalid, but without the nuance of tone and inflection, it can be hard to see good advice when you feel wronged. However, when you see the same topics coming up again and again, or calling something a scam when the truth is that they didn't read the small print or fulfill their obligations, it can all feel a bit like old hat, and then someone who is familiar with the boards could easily intimidate a newbie without really intending to just by pointing out that it's a matter which has been resolved hundreds of times if they search the boards.

When you take all that into account, and consider that in the entirety of human history, there has never been a period when huge sections of the world's population haven't been at war with one another, I think we do ok on here! If you want to feel heartened, then check out this thread - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1219919 where Velogal and I had a perfectly reasonable chat and she resolved her problem. Admittedly it was just the two of us on the threas, and she had a genuine case, but small oaks and all that....!

jeannieblue

The smugness of all the oldies RadoJo. Guilty of it myself... Got pulled up on it the other day - and apologised.

No one loves a 'know it all'...

Halloway

This particular forum does seem to attract a lot of needy people who are not willing to think about the consequences of their actions, nor take responsibility for them. There is also a minority who seem to go around looking for torts, calumnies and other perceived wrongs in order that they (a) may feel persecuted and (b) hopefully screw some 'compensation' out of some hapless retailer.

d.edna

It also shows one side of story so it becomes unreal

THE_LONE_RANGER_4

No don"t agree with that.