Arghh - upcoming nightmare impending

wobblebottom

For months my DD DS have been winging about their weekly visits to thier father, without going into details they just dont want to go anymore for various reasons.. and its all ended in a slanging match ,tears and tantrums

Thing is now hes "screaming C you in court"

My question is what age is it considered that a child can make their own descicion about not going without having to be forced to go because they arent considered old enuf to make such a descion themselves.

DD aged 10 goin on 11 and DS 5 going on 6

cheers

Prudent

I don't know about England. In Scotland it is officially 12. However most courts are unlikely to entirely disregard the opinions of the children.

wobblebottom

Thanks, il bear it in mind.. if only the courts have to see the tears before and after visits are due...

helen21_2

I know the system is a bit of a farce but when a parent takes another to court the court always says it a "childs right" to see a parent!!!

wobblebottom

but wot if the child doesnt want to.. will the childs request be upheld..

they simoly dont want to go anymore and ex wont take it as thier answers?

helen21_2

wobblebottom wrote:

but wot if the child doesnt want to.. will the childs request be upheld..

they simoly dont want to go anymore and ex wont take it as thier answers?

I'm sorry i dont know enough about the law really, all you can do is what is right for your children, and if this is allowing them to not see their father then seek legal advice. I take it your not on good terms with dear daddy

Anya

Next door neighbour had this with her little girl who was 8 at the time, wanted to stay with Mum and not visit Dad. Mum had daughters diaries and stuff saying this so wasn't just her word. Court deemed that little girl was clever enough to decide what she wanted and went in their favour. However... couple of years later, little girl decided that she then wanted to go to Dad permanently and because they let her choose first time they had to then go along with that also. Think they said she was one of the youngest to ever have had a say, but she was a really brihgt little girl who knew her own mind.

wobblebottom

Dear Daddy.. heheeehehe .. i can really think of a lot worse. no we are not great communicators..

Im ringing my solicitor first thing Mon , need to see her over a few things anyway..

Cheers for your help.

helen21_2

Your welcome, hope things work out, its a hard time for all!!

Have you worked out why children dont want to go, is it because they got better things to do? Thing with it is would you allow them to pick and chose when they did for you? Or when they chose to see you? Maybe dear daddy feels this is your doing and not the childrens? I know things can become so much more difficult when parents cant talk Now i always smile and chat with my ex and my son, though only 3, handles everything so well as long as mummy and daddy smile and chat

Sorry me rambling Best of luck to you all anyway.

wobblebottom

No i know every reason ... and they are rightly justified.. it has nowt to do with me althought try telling the Ex that.. this has been brewing for months..

I tried not to interfere today, but when he upsets kids within seconds its time to step in and say something..

Which i did.. trying to justify my DD reasons for her not wanting to go. and Holy Moly breaks out..

well just let the Solicitor sort it..

hes got a long arduous battle ahead now..

Penny-Pincher!!

I would say personally that at your childrens ages, they should be able to make their own decision as to whether they want to see their dad or not. Surely, forcing the children to see him would cause more damage mentally to them. Are you involved with social services-if so then ask for there advice. You say that you dont want to discuss reasons etc, so there must be something underlying problems here-you need to decide whats best for the kids.

Hope eveything goes ok.

PP
xx