What to do - move house now or wait til DD finishes first school year?

moo2moo

My DDs school has pupils who travel for 25+ miles to school as a result of moving house. Once you have a school place if you're prepared to get the children to school its your place. Think that changes if you leave the LEA but within it it doesn't seem to make much difference.

Paparika

The concern i would have is.....

This is the guy who has had issues about moving in with you, wanted his own life of going out and doing what he wanted to do, you've had major rows with him, that you feel have settled down now, and he finally moves in, and the dust hasn't settled yet and he wants to move you all to an area that he prefers.


I understand your having his baby, but he has given you the run around a bit,

If you move now and disturb the DDs, what if you and OH fall out and you are left with a bigger place with the children with nothing around you, (friends and family) with the rent and bills etc.

At least where you are you are coping etc.

This probably wasn't what you wanted to read, but i think you will do what he asks because thats the type of relationship you have, but can you really afford to move, and disturb the children and cope with another if he changes his mind and goes off?

Savvy_Sue

I must say, what Paparika says went through my head too ...

starbump

I wouldn't want to move until after the baby arrives - assuming you're happy with your healthcare providers and wish to stay with them. What if you moved too far away from your chosen hospital or ended up with very lengthy round trips to ante-/post-natal appointments? Of course, this may not bother you if you were planning a home birth. (We are considering on/off moving home too and this is my primary reason against moving.)

Jo_R_2

Paparika wrote: »

The concern i would have is.....

This is the guy who has had issues about moving in with you, wanted his own life of going out and doing what he wanted to do, you've had major rows with him, that you feel have settled down now, and he finally moves in, and the dust hasn't settled yet and he wants to move you all to an area that he prefers.


I understand your having his baby, but he has given you the run around a bit,

If you move now and disturb the DDs, what if you and OH fall out and you are left with a bigger place with the children with nothing around you, (friends and family) with the rent and bills etc.

At least where you are you are coping etc.

This probably wasn't what you wanted to read, but i think you will do what he asks because thats the type of relationship you have, but can you really afford to move, and disturb the children and cope with another if he changes his mind and goes off?

Tbh I think the opposite is true - I mean that I'm gonna end up being the stubborn one and not wanting to move right now! The kids are paramount and whilst DD2 is only two so doesn't have school, preschool or nursery at the moment, obviously DD1 is in her first year, the school where she went to preschool for a year and a half, and in reception has friends both from preschool and her nursery. I've said to him all along that I don't want to disrupt DD1, especially now she's started school. Having said that, I'm not averse to moving, and we're gonna have to eventually anyway, but it makes sense to me to stay put as long as possible, by the time DD1 finishes reception, new baby is going to be a few months old and we'll have summer to sort out schools if necessary (and a preschool place for DD2 by then!) and look for somewhere.

I see his point though - I'm so used to having my 'adult' space of an evening/weekend that I forgot just how cramped it is here, it's so easy to get under other people's feet, and when my parents/sister/friends are round it's a nightmare!

I do think he moved in partly under the belief that we'd be moving soon, and tbh it was something I had thought about, but when it came to actually being practical about it I got thinking about DD1 and school and realised waiting would be better.

We're spending this evening sorting house and money stuff so I'm thinking of putting to him the benefits for all of us of staying it out for a while, and see if I can get him round to my way of thinking.

Jo_R_2

starbump wrote: »

I wouldn't want to move until after the baby arrives - assuming you're happy with your healthcare providers and wish to stay with them. What if you moved too far away from your chosen hospital or ended up with very lengthy round trips to ante-/post-natal appointments? Of course, this may not bother you if you were planning a home birth. (We are considering on/off moving home too and this is my primary reason against moving.)

Good point - something I had thought about also. Have a great GP, who's been really great throughout my depression. I am planning a home birth, and I would like it to be here.

I should probably say that when OH wants to move across town, it isn't really that far, only a few miles. I don't actually have family here (it's my adopted hometown really!) but wherever we move eventually, friends are going to be only a bus ride away. So in that sense it doesn't worry me, it's more the timing of it!

tsstss7

Jo

If it was me i'd start looking now because somtimes in renting you get something special come up and the longer you have to look the more likely you are to find the place that is just right for you.

That said there's to need to rush it and if that place doesn't come up then you can happily wait until next summer and move when you are good and ready.

BTW I'm sure you could keep your dd in her school if you are close enough to get her there so you may not have to move schools, but if you do wish to do so I'd think that the summer might not be the best time to sort it out...it's much easier to do visits and things during term time and they will prob let your dd do a "practice" day before she starts if you sort it out a few months in advance.

Jo_R_2

tsstss7 wrote: »

Jo

If it was me i'd start looking now because somtimes in renting you get something special come up and the longer you have to look the more likely you are to find the place that is just right for you.

That said there's to need to rush it and if that place doesn't come up then you can happily wait until next summer and move when you are good and ready.

BTW I'm sure you could keep your dd in her school if you are close enough to get her there so you may not have to move schools, but if you do wish to do so I'd think that the summer might not be the best time to sort it out...it's much easier to do visits and things during term time and they will prob let your dd do a "practice" day before she starts if you sort it out a few months in advance.

OH has suggested going to speak with DD's school office and finding out exactly what the situation would be if we moved out of catchment, which is probably a good idea. I was under the impression that if you moved out of catchment that was it, you had to find another school, but upon thinking about it I don't think I've actually read that anywhere so it may be a good idea to find out exactly what the situation is!

I have thought about what you said about something ideal coming up - when me and ex were originally looking to move into this catchment, we scoured for a month, and ended up looking outside the catchment because we realised how difficult it would be with the lack of houses in the area coming up for rent. It was actually after we'd had about four viewings in one day, the last one being completely unsuitable, and were chatting to the letting agent, that she mentioned they had a house just about to come onto their books in the area we wanted, she went and got keys, got showed round an hour later and we took it without it ever being advertised. Houses to rent around here are like golddust so that was a case of right place, right time.

Nicki

Savvy_Sue;The only problem with that, is that even if that's how it works this year, you have no guarantee that it will work that way next year, or the year after that, or the year your littlest is due to start school.

It won't change overnight though, as there is a lengthy consultation process to go through before you can change admissions criteria. So I'd feel fairly safe that if the head said the position was x now, and didn't say there were any proposals to change it, that the position would still be x by next September. Granted that doesn't guarantee the sibling place for many years in the future, but there's only 2 chronological years between OP's two older children and not sure how many school years that translates into. It might even be that her younger one is due to start reception in Sep or Jan next year.

Savvy_Sue

True enough. I just thought it would be best to flag up that things can change!