How can i help my mum and dad, please help????

chattycathyuk

Hi All,

I really need help, my poor mum and dad are going out of their minds with worry, and i can’t bear to see life making them both so depressed, i will try and give you a insight of their life's. my mum is 59, dad is 60 mortgage is paid off, no saving, no pension, 28k in debt, (Cards and personal loans)I have just filled in an online form to see if I can get my mum DLA benefit as her doctor told her to do so as she is a long term suffering osteoporosis since year 2000, this is now at the stage where it is affecting her mobility in all ways and need family help to do normal day to day tasks, and can no longer work.

She is 59 and her and my dad have never claimed any benefits before apart from council tax rebate and tax credits and my dad hates asking for it as he is very stubborn/old fashioned man. My mum however feels a little frighten by asking for this help but I feel that my mum and dad deserve this help as they have pay tax all their life’s and this is why the system is here .

My dad is ill too but is still working 30 max a week as a taxi driver, he has Arthritis, Asthma and many other health problems, he also was recently attacked by 3 men passenger's and was left to die on the road side, he even gave the men there fair money back and told them to just go on their way, but they never did, they beat him black and blue, smashed up his mobile so he couldn’t call for help and then the scum ran off leaving him to die. Luckily 2 people walking home for a night club found my dad at the road side and called the ambulance for help. This saved his life. He was then put into Intensive Care, as his injury’s where so bad, they included, a broken nose, broken ribs ,black eyes, and much more, he remained in Intensive Care for 2 weeks until he was allowed to leave.

My dad is now very frighten to work, but feels like has got no choice as he has to live and my mum can no longer work because of the pain she suffers with her osteoporosis. if he doesn’t work he will lose his family tax credit’s which is helping him pay back the loan he took out for his taxi , So not working isn’t an option. He’s 60 so I don’t think changing his job would be an option either. He has also lost alot of his confidents after the attack and he no longer speak a lot, just sits in his chair looking worried and sad.

At the moment they get family tax credit as he works under 30 hours and a rebate off the council tax. Is there any other way my mum and dad would be better off? They are willing to sell their home but don’t know where else to go??

Any advice would be grateful as i really need to help them and would love nothing more to see them smile again.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Love cathyx

whitewing

cathy,

Does your dad just work for himself, or as part of a company? If the latter, could he ask to do mainly women or families? Or does the times he work affect this?

I agree that mum/dad should feel no shame about claiming the benefits that they are entitled to.

Others will be along to help more soon.

Oldernotwiser

If they sold their home, could they buy something smaller locally or move to a cheaper area? Moving away might be good to rebuild your father's confidence.

krisskross

Really it is the debts that are the problem isn't it? I agree with trying for more/ different benefits. soon they will both be over 60 so pension credit etc could be good for them. Just looked again, Dad is already 60 so retiring and getting pension credit could be an option. See if the local authority have sheltered homes that they could apply for. They could possibly then sell up and repay all debts

In the meantime perhaps some help with the debts like the CCCS or Payplan. All the details of these charitable organisations are on the Debtfree Wanabee board.

chattycathyuk

No my dad now works alone, as he wasnt making enough money to be able to pay the settle. The taxi company he worked for was bought out and the new owners but the settle up by 50%, so my dad being my dad walk out, and now works alone.

My dad also try to claim for Winter Fuel Payment but because he wasnt aged 60 before September he was told he has to wait till next year, he is 60 on oct 6th, 6 days out, he thinks someone must have it in for him with all the bad luck he gets.

chattycathyuk

krisskross wrote: »

Really it is the debts that are the problem isn't it? I agree with trying for more/ different benefits. soon they will both be over 60 so pension credit etc could be good for them. Just looked again, Dad is already 60 so retiring and getting pension credit could be an option. See if the local authority have sheltered homes that they could apply for. They could possibly then sell up and repay all debts

In the meantime perhaps some help with the debts like the CCCS or Payplan. All the details of these charitable organisations are on the Debtfree Wanabee board.

Yes its mostly the debts there have which is causing all the problems, my dad tends to berry his head in the sand and my mum keeps using the cards to pay for food and bills.

ive helped them out by paying off there cards for them, but she keeps using them, says they have to eat. i know how they feel, as i have been there, me and my husband sold our house as we where stuggling with the large morgage we had, so we deceiced to give it up and live our lifes as this was more important to us, we now live in rented and are very happy and we made a nice little profit on my house sale, which means we can live happliy.


i do keep giving them money for food, bills and other bits, but mum ends up crying saying she cant take it of me and my dad walk off, as hes says its not right that im helping them, they should be helping me. i feel so guitly for having money, but i havent got enough money to pay off there debt's. my dad wanted me to buy his house but i dont want to go there again as this cause alot of problems between me and my husband, made me very ill.

I feel i cant just keep giving money as we need to resolve this, they need a monthly income which they can work around. i will look into payplan, its just trying to get my mum and dad to sit down and face there problems which is going to be the hard part. i have a sister and brother too, but both of them dont want to know or help my parents, i feel like i fighting this on my own.

chattycathyuk

not really, there all around the same price. 120k cant really get anything for 90k unless its a flat.

Mips

No words of wisdom... but I hope something comes good soon

Most of us seem to be in the same boat... just got to ride it out. Some will sink, some will swim

Oldernotwiser

chattycathyuk wrote: »

not really, there all around the same price. 120k cant really get anything for 90k unless its a flat.

Nothing wrong with a flat if it solves their financial problems and lets them live in peace again.

TAZ

i know you said your dad is working to bring the money in but is the hours he works and the money he brings in worth all the stress he is having, try putting their details into entitledto.com website and see if you could work out what they would be able to claim if he gave up the work.

if your mum does get dla there are certain payments your daad could get for looking after her etc, they might not actually be that worse off

if you would like a bit more help on this feel free to drop me a message

take care

LindsayO

could your dad employ another driver or rent out his cab?
that might be a way of getting some income out of the taxi without him having to put in the hours himself

I agree with ONW, nothing wrong with a flat especially if it gets them out of debt, and stops them getting into more debt