Have you told your family about your debt?

Miss_Piggy_2

Only me, asking more silly questions!

I've been on a DMP for nearly two years and I've just convinced my Husband he needs one. So now we will be without credit cards etc and things are going to be tight for a few years.

The thing is, for those of you in the same position, have you told your family. ie your parents etc

I am 34 and feel I should deal with this on my own. But part of me just wants to sit with my mum, tell her all about it, have a good cry and then get on with it. She knows things are hard for us and her and my Dad do everything they possibly can to help. I'm not looking for more assistance from them, just wanting to get it off my chest!!

So was just wondering what others have done? Have you told your families?

Thanks

Miss P.

bathgatebuyer

I only told my Mum long after I'd hit the lightbulb moment and in the middle of really trying to tackle my debts and get back on the straight and narrow.

She obviously knew I was out of work and recognised that financially things are always gong to be tight when you're in that situation. What she didn't realise, is that the unemployment came when I already had about £10K on credit cards and another £8K or so on a car loan. She was happy to help me out when I was out of work but it was horrid that each time she gave me some cash or food, it was never enough to meet my commitments in full because I'd hidden so much from her.

Now after being so successful making reclaims (see my signature!), and having been back in stable employment for a few years now, things are much easier and I have owned up to her about the level of debt I was in. It's easier for me to say now, "That was the extent of the problem, but look how I've fixed it" than it was then as at that point, I felt like such a bloody failure that I didn't want to face up to the extent of the problem, nevermind admitting it to someone who always believes the best in me.

I don't think that any problems is impossible to solve, but it's definitely much easier when people know why you're making certain decisions. It's much easier to say, Sorry I can't come out for drinks / dinner / football / holiday...................." and so on when people know that you are dealing with a money situation. It can happen to anyone and there really isn't any shame in admitting to money worries no matter how desperate it can actually seem.

mummytofour

I told most peoepl I am not paying my debts as I was fed up of being poor. Not quite how I feel or how it wasa but it makes me fell better about the DMP.

taplady

I never told my Mum but I suspect she knows as she was here quite a bit looking after the children when the postman came and also answered the phone a couple of times but she hasn't said anything. She is very generous to us without actually giving us money. I have told some of my closest friends but mainly the ones who are in a similar position.
I do admit to feeling ashamed of getting in this mess but I've worked hard to sort it out and in 2 years we will be debt free!:j

ann_marie77

I haven't told my parents about the debts I have (about £20,000ish). They are quite strict and I don't feel they would react the way I would want, ie. supportive and understanding. As I still live at home, I don't want to risk them trying to teach me a lesson by kicking me out, which wouldn't help my situation in trying to get debt free.
Although I have told my younger sister about it and she has been quite supportive, by helping post letters to my various debitors, as I find it quite hard during the week to post any correspondance as I work 8-5 and it's out of town so I can't get to the post office weekdays.
I suppose I wil tell them one day but not any time soon, probably when I get debt free!

Thefishdude_2

i curretnly live with my parents but am now looking to move and tackle my debts at same time... i have told them about my debts they would be ok towards me but i know it would worry them sensless and woudl make my dad ill. he nearly has a heart attack when he works out his monthly finances and hes a £1 out lol both my parents are retired living on state pensions soo not like they could bale me out or anything anyway raher not cause them the worry.

markey77

We have told my parents and my granny and dp told his parents. Not sure why really...think we were both pleased that we find it so much easier to live being on a DMP so just kinda put it out there!!

savingholmes

My OH and I know the amount of debt we are in. We have told our DS as we are trying to educate him about money and the dangers of spending what you've not got. We're lucky enough to still be able to get 0% rates and service our debts... On sister knows how much we owe but not the rest. Our families just know that we owe quite a bit and that we are making a concerted effort to pay it off while we are still in employment. My job is not secure and with the credit cruch / economic downturn it is wise to be careful. I've not told them amounts as they can be quite judgmental. They are pleased however that we are tackling the problem, and are okay about not necessarily getting much at Xmas etc.... although I'm hoping thro the finished baskets and £10 a day challenge thread that it will work out.

meerkat2007

My mum knows I'm in debt and has known all along, but not the extent to which I have been and still am in debt. She does know how much the mortage is, but as that is now under £20k (yippee!), she seems to be more relaxed about it.

I have found it easier to talk to friends - one very good friend who helped me when I had my LBM by just telling me to write to creditors and explain the situation to them.

The irony of it is, she has a very good credit history, but a mortgage that is around twice the total amount of my current debt! Somehow, that makes me feel a little better about the situation I find myself in.

Lelc

I eventually told dh once I'd set up the dmp but I've never told him how much I owed. I have not admitted it to anyone else though, more because I just feel that I'm dealing with it and there's nothing to be gained by telling anyone else.

Glittermonkey

My ex knows as he helped towards the debt!

I haven't told me parents, though they know I am always skint. My mum stayed with me last year for 3 months and the banks/DCA were always ringing and she learnt to ignore the calls so she must have an idea.

They weren't very happy with me when they found out aout 7 years ago I owed 4k to credit cards. They paid it off and I repaid them so couldn't dare tell them I'm in a worse situation than before.