Evan's DFW & Wedding Diary

~evanesco~

Forgot! Big news! My Dad is graciously hosting our civil partnership, which is a massive financial weight lifted from us, sooooooooooo, do I pay everything, then save. I mean the main thing that was so hugely expensive for our CP was the ceremony/reception, like £5,000, over a third of our overall budget. Part of me knows what I should do, but the other part is trying to talk me out of it. Talk me back into it, I should pay it all off the debts, shouldn't I? I have no need to split now, since Dad's taking care of the main bit.

Other good news, brownie points news even. I wanted to buy the kids something out the cataloguie for Xmas, since I had a huge chunk of cashback sat there. Know what I did, I paid the outstanding bit straight away. I didn't leave it and just let it raise the total I owe. Nope, I was a good DFW and grabbed my debit card and piad it there and then before my bad DFW could talk me out of it. I think she's getting silenced you know. She's not having as much influence just lately.

hypno06

If you cancel the direct debits, ring the people they are with (the people you are paying) and explain you are switching bank accounts so wish to make this months payment by debit card, I am sure that would be fine!

I switched bank accounts last month and did manual payments for a couple of bills for the same reason - the "switch over" date was 30th, and my payments are due on 1st and I just didn't trust things to be in the right place at the right time, so paid over the phone instead.

Things'll be ok.

~evanesco~

That's probably the best thing to do really. If I cancel them, will they still get set up with the new bank. I've sent the form back which details all the direct debits. I'm thinking it would have been easier NOT to use their switching service and to actually do it all myself, but as they say, hindsight is a wonderful thing.

hypno06

As for the money you no longer have to pay for the civil partnership.

Pay it all off the debt.

~evanesco~

hypno06 wrote: »

As for the money you no longer have to pay for the civil partnership.

Pay it all off the debt.

And.....

Be DEBT FREE by June!!!

I know, it makes sense, doesn't it. It's not rocket science bob, it's sensibility. I am. I think. Oh flip, I'm scared of myself. I'm just worried I'm gonna mess it up again this year. My non DFW person has had too much caffine and is running hyper circles in my head with her what if this happens and what if that happens. I wish she'd flipping shut up. She does my nut in!

hypno06

OK......try this.

Sit comfortably, in quiet, and close your eyes so you relax a bit.

Have both hands, palms upright, on your lap, nice and relaxed.

Now imagine the "good dfw" on one hand, and the "bad dfw" on the other hand.

Describe them to yourself so you can really see them clearly.

Now get the good one to tell the bad one all the positive reasons why you should be debt free and the benefits this will bring.

Then get the bad one to tell the good one all the positive reasons behind why you should spend money.

Get them to talk to each other, and to acknowledge the fact that they are both trying to do something "positive" eg debt free to give you more freedom, and spending money to make you feel good type thing. They will realise they are both trying to achieve the same aim - ie Making you feel good.

When they are talking, they can reach a compromise, or go with the good one completely, because the bad one will realise that the good one wants ultimately the same thing as the bad one wanted (ie to make you feel good) so the bad one becomes prepared to give up some of the stuff she is making you do.

When they have reached a compromise, bring both hands together. Both "dfws" come together to work towards a common goal.

Hope that makes sense - it really can work fantastically well, but can take a little practice if you are not used to it, so don't give up the first time if it doesn't work.

~evanesco~

You know, I've never actually thought of getting them both to talk, they just both seem to shout at me. This may actually work. Mediation type exercises generally work for me, so this is brilliant. You're a star.

~evanesco~

Right, I'm thinking it's bedtime, but before I pop off to sleep, i'm going to write a list of everything I need to do tomorrow, talk to Stressed Erica about this week financial fiasco, and then have a little chat with my 2 DFW girls. Night all.

~evanesco~

Funny story. You know those 2 direct debits that were going out on Friday? Weeeeell, I cancelled them, and then rang the first one explaining the situation, and was told it was due on Monday. Naturally I checked my diary, and it does say Monday. Think my brain is frazzled! I'm going to ring round everyone this week and just explain whats happening and ask if I can pay all by debit card. I'm never swopping banks again, it's too stressful. I don't know where they are going from and you can guarantee they'll go from the bank that has no money it, and if I put money in it, they'll go from the other bank which wont have any money in either, since it'll be in the other bank. With me? Me neither!

Happy 1st December!

~evanesco~

Morning DFW's. CB is going into the correct account, so that's one thing done. Rang my boss just now and told him to pick up the wage slips before he leaves the house. Missed a parcel, but can't get through on the phone, so may have to send him to pick it up for me. Should have sent the night shift lad, but didn't really think. They say you can rearrange it online. You can't, the last 3 times I've tried to do this they haven't bothered and I've ended up having to go down there anyway. Our virgin mnedia box is playing up as well, so that's another thing on my list. I've got to go and do my childminders accounts, but I can't be bothered, I may go tomorrow and do them for her. Maybe I should wangle a discount too.:money: