I really could cry now!!!

gizmo111

What is it you want to do? None of your posts mention that you are unhappy or want to leave home just yet - IMO with large debts and not even an emergency fund it would be madness.
Your BF needs to sort out his own housing situation, and not automatically include you in it until you are ready.

GettingThingsDone

Hi KME91 -

Your BF needs to sort out his own housing situation, and not automatically include you in it until you are ready.

Agree.

Obviously his mum can't face the "it's time to leave the nest" conversation and wants you to do the dirty work.

Unless you're careful you could end up being his new 'mum' It might be better for him/both of you for him to live on his own for a bit anyway...

OK - that much you know. Being devil's advocate here (so feel free to ignore), maybe he just doesn't want to live with you? Even if he gets a place on his own, there's the 'danger' that you'll be round all the time. Maybe you feel like a nomad at the moment, but he's really quite happy with the arrangement?

I could be quite wrong (as is often the case ), I don't know much about his situation - does he have (hidden?) debts? Is he working etc etc?

Good luck and keep posting!

gtd

KME91

Thanks all for the advice i'll try and answer all your points...

I did an SOA ages ago, i'm ticking along quite nicely with paying off my debts, but i'm guessing it wouldn't be a bad idea to revisit it, make sure it's all going right!

As far as him not wanting to move because he has it easy at the moment, i agree he's probably got a bit of that mindset, and yeah he's onto a good thing with cheap rent and free storage.TBH i wouldn't want to move either and really i'm happy living with my parents til i'm debt free, but as soon as i can afford it i'll be off into my own rented place, if we're not in a positin to plan to move in together by then for whatever reason..

As far as ditching him goes, this is the only glitch in an otherwise very happy relationship. young people often get slated for breaking up at the first sign of trouble, but i'm not like that, i think he's worth being with and i'm willing to make the effort to make it work. But that doesn't include mothering him, or dealing with his mother either! hahahaha

i think i'm going to try and talk to him again, he was on about renting a flat off a mate the other night, only vaguely in passing, but hopefully i can build on that, make him think it was his idea. what i'd really like is for him to sort out his issues with his mum, and leave me out of it, and for him to learn some independence so when i am ready to move out i don't have to be his substitute mother.

He is working and solvent, he's working all the hours at the moment getting this business off the ground. I hope i haven't portrayed him as some kind of layabout sponging off his parents, he really is working his socks off. he also helps around the house and with the car maintenance and his dad's business too.

Thanks all for your help and advice, i'll let you know how we get on