Ways to stop overseas sales calls discussion

KeithSheppard

As a writer, I've come up with a tongue in cheek answer-phone message aimed at cold callers. Just for a bit of fun, if you're interested you can find it on my blog at keith-mapman.blogspot.com.

Azari

KeithSheppard wrote: »

As a writer, I've come up with a tongue in cheek answer-phone message aimed at cold callers. Just for a bit of fun, if you're interested you can find it on my blog at keith-mapman.blogspot.com.

Very amusing.

And the three other entries I've read so far have been good as well.

Well worth a look.

rdann

I do two things now; I never give out my home number to any company, only my mobile number. The other thing is I block any cold calls via my phone, it has avery useful feature that quickly blocks any number whether it is a full phone number or just some random numbers like 0000, all I hear is a little ding from my phone when they call again.

Simples!

Capt_Slog

Some of my answers to cold callers.

1. Do I want replacement windows? "Hang on, I'll go and check". Put the phone down for a minute then pick it back up "No thanks, they're still there".

2. Do I want a new kitchen? "Why? There's not enough food cooked here to warrant two kitchens."

3. Learn how to say "My hovercraft is full of eels" in the language of your choice. Just keep repeating this, each time getting more emphatic and exasperated as if talking to a cretin.

4. All offers to put up new gutterings or soffits are met by the reply that "I have a thatched roof".

5. Simultaneous speaking. Every time they start to say something I say "Hello?, who is this", "why don't you answer me?" etc. They think they have a line fault.

Justamum

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:I've just had a very amusing few minutes reading all these solutions to the bl**dy nuisance calls.

I just don't answer the phone any more and wait for the answering machine to pick up.

Memory_Girl

Borrowed from a classic thread on here - but we go for the ""Wimaway" system in this house.

As soon as they start on their speil, I start with

"A-wim-away a-wim-away a-wim-away
a-wim-away a-wim-away a-wim-away

ooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo oooo oo weeee aaa wwummmmmmm awayyyyyyyyy
ooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo oooo oo weeee aaa wwummmmmmm awayyyyyyyyy

Only actually got to "In the jungle,the mighty jungle twice"

Oh! and when the kids hear me start they run to the phone and sing the harmonies - we are like the Von Trapps! - but, well you know a little warped.

MG

bizywizy

its not necessarily the answering of the call --for me its the fact they ring - as usually its when I am trying to sleep.

I dont want to turn the phone off as need it if I have a problem plus cant even check who is calling without my glasses on lol

Arthurian

I have been plagued by calls recently. You'd think it would be possible for the TPS or BT Privacy at Home to trace all calls, but apparently not if they are from abroad. My last call was from SE Asia but the caller said they were an outsourced base for a Manchester (UK) company called Home Energy Survey.

I usually pick up the phone but don't make a sound. If it's a friend from abroad, they'll say something - if a cold caller, it doesn't connect until they hear a noise.

RWAP

I get more and more frustrated by these calls - as I work from home, I can't afford to ignore phone calls.

Mind you I had a laugh reading through some of these.

I think the best one was when my mum received a call 'Can I speak to Mr ...' - she replied 'No I've just killed him and am rather busy chopping up his body at the moment - would you like to make an appointment to call around?"

I have started to put the onus on my phone company to do something about these calls - I just ring 1477 after receiving a call, which reports the call as malicious. It also blocks the last incoming number and is free.

That is starting to work !!

NigeO

newlywed wrote: »

We've had a few calls from indian call centers telling us our PC has downloaded a virus.

These ones are my favourite if I've got time to spare I've got them up to over 10 minutes so far... I just play dumb and replay every 'bad day in tech support' scenario I can imagine to keep them working, without ever touching a keyboard so far...

> You have a problem with your computer
(feign surprise)

> We can help you, are you in front of your computer
Yes, as it happens, I am

> Can you click on the Start button at the bottom of the screen
(pause), I don't see a start button
(continue with puzzled questions from caller as long as possible, till eventually)

> Sir, is your computer switched on
Oh yes, you're right, sorry, silly me
(continue 1-2 minutes while computer 'starts', explaining how it's a very old computer etc etc)
(if desired, repeat the above until they realise you haven't switched your monitor on, mouse is upside down, you've moved the Start button to the top of the screen, keyboard is unplugged, broadband isn't working today, network cable is unplugged, you're using the kids DS etc etc as well... use your imagination)

Continue as desired, playing the 'I don't know anything about anything' game, mistype addresses they give you, get them to explain in painful detail how to start your web browser and find an obscure web browser that doesn't have the buttons they ask you to press etc), but on no account visit their websites.

Basically, pretend you're a not-especially-bright person who's just been transported in time from 1980 and knows absolutely nothing about using computers, and let them explain everything you need to know ...

I ended the last call (when I really had to go and do something else!) explaining I don't use Windows/Mac as people kept phoning me up and selling me viruses, and got 'you are a liar' being screamed at me, which was rather funny... and still they keep calling.

As a bonus, the family find the one-sided conversation very amusing, as they know I live and breathe computers... :rotfl:

Playing whistles down the phone doesn't really work, just about all call centres have some sort of limiter for operators, even if your end doesn't. The TPS does work and keeps the number of 'boring' cold calls to a minimum.

I sometimes do the above to persistent double glazing type calls if I work out early what they are selling, until they realise I've just described living in a nuclear bunker with no windows, or that I've already got quadruple glazing etc, but the computer one can always be strung out indefinitely, my ambition is to get it up to half an hour.

And yes, I understand people work in these call centres and make their living there, which is why I make every effort to stop them calling in the first place, they can check the TPS register if they want to reduce their wasted time!