Simplifying Life - Mark II

ceridwen

Well - two things occur to me. As someone pointed out on here the other day - this thread and our journey towards simplicity have been going now for a year. The other thing is that a new year will be starting soon.

So - my first thought - I found some New Year thoughts to share:

http://www.appleseeds.org/new-year_advice.htm

My second thought: why did I start out on this simplifying journey? Well - for myself - I was doing several part-time jobs on top of my full-time one and it was getting a bit much. Both my house and myself were starting to look somewhat the worse for wear and I had put on weight again because of the rushing from one job to another and grabbing what food I could in between them. Out of the things I needed time and energy for - the jobs, the housework and myself - there was really only enough time and energy for two of them. So - I had to put the jobs first (darn it!) and I insisted on time for myself - so you can guess where the housework came in order of priorities:cool: . Dust Bunny City ..and the rest....

So - I decided only to keep those part-time jobs long enough to get rid of some debt I had and then reclaim my life - which I have duly done.

I've then spent the time since putting in place various systems - diaries/blogs/being stocked-up with stuff to get my life to "work" better. I'm still on the journey - but, looking back, I've made quite substantial inroads on "getting my life in order" and having some time/energy that I dont have to feel guilty about having for myself.

So - why did everyone else decide to accompany me on my simplifying journey? 'Twould be interesting to hear your thoughts on this....

mary43

ceridwen - thanks for the link.Very worthwhile words -think I'll print them out.

Why did I join this thread ? Well,I only found the site around this time last year and came over to this board -and this thread - out of curiosity I suppose initially. Then somehow it all seemed to make sense what was being said and made me look at myself and my life (and the dust but we won't dwell on that)
I'm a great hoarder by nature but it had got out of hand...........I'd probably never have rid myself of some of the things that were, lets face it, of no use nor ornament and took up space where something could be that gave me a bit of a lift. It also made me realise that I had to let go of my Dad sometime - three boxes were condensed into one and only the precious (to me) pieces remain. The local history site of the town I was born benefited from my clear out and I get the feeling they may well get more this year for their museum.
Books were cleared out, as were wardrobes and on that front I've been very good and not replaced anything without getting rid of two items. Sadly my desk is overflowing with 'stuff', the kitchen dresser that was our pride and joy when we got it last year is fast becoming a 'hot spot' ............I'm blaming christmas and all the storage and stuff that goes with it but really it's just me letting myself down.But at least I can admit to that and will be having one major clear out (or several) with the help of our ex foster lad who is always keen to house my cast outs (maybe its memories for him ?)
OH currently is suffering from a bad cold (hoping its not the dreaded 'man flu') so not much will be done until he's back to normal. Wouldn't be fair to create chaos around him.
I've also had a lot of support from everyone here regards personal issues - I sometimes wonder how I would have dealt with them without you all and a huge 'thankyou' for that.
So,I've not given up............just one of those people who is slow to change the habits that have been with me for so long. But I'll get there...........and while I'm pausing before having another go may I say 'Bless you all', particularly ceridwen for starting this very valuable thread that props me up when I tumble.

Charis

ceridwen wrote: »

So - why did everyone else decide to accompany me on my simplifying journey? 'Twould be interesting to hear your thoughts on this....

Hi Ceridwen

This time last year I felt like a headless chicken, running around to get nowhere. I had a demanding voluntary job, a home and large garden to cope with single handed, a mortgage, too much furniture and too many things for our small home, a failed relationship that was going nowhere and a desire to carry on studying creative writing.

During the last twelve months I have resigned from the voluntary job (end of March) decluttered ruthlessly (although still the fiddly bits like paperwork and photos to deal with - and old journals, which if I start reading them have me reading on for ages. I hired someone to sort out the garden for me and re-lay the uneven patio. He dug out loads of shrubs to make a vegetable garden for next year, while I pruned and tidied up the rest. A friend unexpectedly bought a property in auction which is just three doors away. She needed some wardrobes and we needed space, so she now has a new wardrobe and matching dressing table. We tried different ways to configure the remaining furniture and I think we have at last got it right. For now. Besides, I can't face dragging it into any more different positions. Most of them are full of stockpiled food :rotfl: I had already started a creative writing course with the OU and when I passed that in June I decided to start the advanced course in October. Oh, and I paid off the remaining mortgage.

Sometimes it's been a bit hard and quite a lonely path now the older children have their own lives. I am living in a part of the country which is different to anywhere else I have lived and far from my roots, but I have a good friend I met at my first writing class, who knows the area well. On the rare occasions there is some sunshine we go somewhere local and do a bit of digital photography. It really does help me to have a simpler life, to have a goal, (currently writing/studying) and the bonus is that I now really understand fiction in a way I did not before. There is a whole world of literature waiting to be explored, tomatoes to be grown, people to meet, places to discover - and more time to simply be.

I still have a way to go - it's a journey, not a destination, but when I look back over the year I realise how far I have already come. Thank you for your company.

Here's to 2009!
_party_ :dance: :wave:

mardatha

exactly charis, let's hope it's a good one ! But at least it's a new one.. I love winter because everything is resting, gathering itself for the spring. And once you get to new year then you feel the world start to turn again towards the sun.
I joined your thread Ceridwen because to me this is how life HAS to be. If I cluttered my life with things and needs and wants then I'd be unhappy and off balance - it just isn't me. I need to have space and see the sky, and eyes in my head that notice what's going on with the animals/birds. That's all I need...not money/status/credit cards and rushing about
And this year, veg growing is a new adventure for me because at last I have the time to do it properly.

lilac_lady

I love your thread Ceridwen, as it articulated what I'd been feeling for years. There's nothing better than living simply, having less clutter, less stress and making time to do things for yourself without feeling (too) guilty.

I'm better at saying "no" when I don't want to do something, better at deciding between needs and wants and better at planning my life at my own pace since I started following this thread.

Thanks for starting it.

mary43

Charis - you've done so well and lilac lady and marthada :T

I felt a bit like I should wear the dunces hat when I first read your posts as I still seem to be 'cluttered'...............but at least I know that having de-cluttered once I'm capable of doing it again and maybe this time staying that way, making a more thorough job of it. I've some cardboard boxes that quite honestly could just be emptied of their contents into the recycling bin and I wouldn't even miss them............I could then re-use the boxes for some other storage that is much needed.
Card making stuff needs a thorough sort out so I can see more of what I've got..............these are the easy things but its a start. Once I get going then it won't be the chore it was last year and parting with things won't be the wrench it was then.
I can do it and I will !:j

Charis

mary43 wrote: »

Charis - you've done so well and lilac lady and marthada :T

I felt a bit like I should wear the dunces hat when I first read your posts as I still seem to be 'cluttered'

But Mary, I cheated and didn't make my Christmas presents like you did, and I certainly couldn't cope with unruly teenagers like you do. You've revamped furniture and knick knacks and grown things in the garden this year. You had all that upheaval with workmen coming and going and all that plaster dust trekked through. You're doing better than you think.

I reckon decluttering gets harder the more you do. At first you happily throw out and give away stuff that means very little to you. Then you start to feel a little tug of attachment as you let go. Once or twice you might even miss something for a while, or at least miss the security of having a spare whatever-it-was. All the while you work round things like personal papers, photographs, memorabilia, thinking 'I'll do that last'. Then you get to the point of having to wade through boxes of your own history and it can get very emotional. One of my friends had to empty his late parents' things from his garage when he bought a new car a few years ago. He found it very emotional just going through the stuff, whilst trying to reduce the amount to the few boxes that he had room for in his house.

It can sometimes seem as though you are rubbing out your own personal history as you go. I keep promising myself I will scan old letters, old photographs, old course work, old birthday cards (or at least the last ones sent by ageing relatives) Then I think no, I will wait until I can afford a better scanner or until I have more time. They will all have to be burned to discs as the size of a scanned file is huge and I have a lot of paper. Perhaps I should make my New Years Resolution to work on one file/album/box at a time and do at least a few every day. If I do four a day, that's almost 1500 by this time next year.

2cats1kid

Here's my 2p. I am simplifying because it suits me. I've never hankered after a bigger house or a newer car - as long as I am settled and have things to keep me occupied (crafty stuff normally - I'm not one to sit and watch endless telly) then I'm happy.

But we'd ended up with lots of stuff (small child and packrat hubby) so I did a big clearout, and now DD is bigger she wants her PC, her mp3 player and her DS lite, and she's pretty happy, so her stuff takes less space than toys (although the musical instruments are multiplying alarmingly - currently we have a piano, a violin and two saxophones, although one is borrowed and will go back next week).

I've always been like my dad in personality and he was a big wine maker and veggie/fruit gardener, and I think I'm just reverting to type there! Mum jammed, preserved and bottled what he grew and I learned from her.

I hate consumerism with a passion and just think it's evil that children are raised to think they are deprived if they aren't dressed head to foot in designer labels (DD's current fave top was one she bought in BHF charity shop!). I figured I'd done a good job when we were on holiday and walked through a hotel to get to the bus stop on the other side - she looked around and said "I don't think I'd like to stay here, mum. It's too posh." LOL. That's my girl - simple and homely for her too!

mary43

charis - you're right..............it is much easier to get rid of general stuff but the personal things are harder. There's a sort of 'guilt factor' about getting rid of something that belonged to Dad but having said that I know he'd want his stuff to go to someone who appreciated it and the fact that his sheet music went to someone with a real passion for it would have brought a smile to his face. Having the history society to send bits and pieces to meant I can access them when I want to knowing they're cared for. They may just be bits of paper but they were also bits of my Dad.
Have made a start this afternoon.............only a small one but a start. I've cleared out my card making stuff, arranged it in better order and have a bag of bits for the recycling bin and a packet of more usable pieces for my neighbours daughter who likes to do a bit of crafting. Once the decorations are down I can sift through the stuff that came off the walls and see what I really want to keep and what I can live without.

2cats - I'm with you on this hate of consumerism with kids wanting the best and most expensive of everything. I was brought up in the 'make do and mend' era and when I had my children I was never well off enough to buy them anything that wasn't either cheap and cheerful or second hand. Both my boys as a result appreciate the value of what they have much more than a lot of others. Even my grandchildren (who live with their mum and her partner and have everything there is to have) have no expectations for christmas and birthdays and are happy with a box of bits each that are a lot of fun for them.

Having cleared out my card stuff its given me an incentive to go through a few boxes that I feel sure are storing stuff I've forgotten about therefore have no need for. That'll be tomorrows chore..............:j

ceridwen

Thanks all for comments to date - all further ones welcome!

My thoughts so far:

- People obviously vary on keeping sentimental things. Its been a lesson to me that many people keep things for sentimental reasons - and probably a good idea for me to learn this. I guess - having been brought up by a mother who I doubt has ever kept anything for sentimental reasons - its been useful to me to learn that it is important to other people to do so. I guess I'm not totally devoid of keeping sentimental things - as I have kept photos of my father and some particularly good friends of mine - so that I can remember what they look like when they are gone - so even "dour" ceridwen does do sentiment once in a while:D

- in keeping with what Mardatha says: I am learning to look at things in nature and appreciate them for themselves. I watch the sky sometimes. I watch any birds near me - and still recall laughing the other day at the antics of a seagull with lunch in mind standing there stomping up and down on the ground to make some tasty worms or something come to the surface to eat (there was a time when I would have rushed past oblivious - instead of standing there to have a laugh at this seagull with its beady eyes on me).

- re consumerism - I must be "kicking the habit" to some extent. My mother likes looking round shops for the sake of it and was all set for looking round the sales - even though there is nothing she either needs or wants - and asked me if that was what I intended to do. My reply was that I didnt see the point - I've just got a couple of bits I need for the purposes of growing a bit of food out back and that I didnt see the point of going round anywhere other than a garden centre at the moment to get those bits.

- Aril is one of the people who has taught us all something on this thread I often feel - with her sheer appreciation of many of the simple things in life and her delight in the "small person" and all his doings.

- Mary has taught us things about concern for the foster children she has in her care.

- Charis gets us looking more deeply into things.

- Mardatha...well you and I both rank as total beginners at gardening...I must ask some of THE most obvious questions sometimes..."Ooh...does one have to ensure flowers on plants are pollinated? Oh........" and so on...but I guess being a total ignoramus in this respect has its uses - as "My Gardening Notes" (ie my other public blog) is written from the viewpoint of a total ignoramus - so hopefully might prove useful for dead basic info. to others.

Anyways - we are all learning from each other here....so here's to a continuing journey.