Simplifying Life - Mark II

ginnyknit

Thank you for the positive comments. I am actually starting to work on our fund to travel and have a bag full of vintage buttons to put on ' Evil bay'. I have a lot of work to do and much planning but it gives me something to aim for. I really have amassed a lot of craft things which I couldn't even use if I lived to be 100! So am off to do more simplifying hugs to all who are on the similair quest as me

juliapenguin

ginnyknit wrote: »

Sorry I mentioned the Amish as I find them interesting. I realise Quackers are very different , I just have a thirst for knowledge on all kinds of things. Interesting thread though guys

LOL :rotfl:

Having a difficult day and this really cheered me up! I love ducks and am really interested in Quakers!

[Deleted User]

ginnyknit wrote: »

Thank you for the positive comments. I am actually starting to work on our fund to travel and have a bag full of vintage buttons to put on ' Evil bay'. I have a lot of work to do and much planning but it gives me something to aim for. I really have amassed a lot of craft things which I couldn't even use if I lived to be 100! So am off to do more simplifying hugs to all who are on the similair quest as me

What an incentive to de-clutter and simplify- preparing for travelling is very exciting. How soon you plan to begin your journey? How long will you travel for- would love to hear all your plans.
Going to look after family, although it will be a busy time, I hope to have some peace also, no tv, that'd never happen in my house- DH and DS would have a fit!!!

ginnyknit

I am quackers and they are quakers :rotfl:

Lilykins, we are still at the planning stage and as OH is disabled there are limits so we are staying in the UK, though may wander to France at some point. The adventure hopefully will start next spring. There is a lot of simplifying to do and a house full of clutter to get rid of but we are very determined as OH needs something to look forward to and we will not give up just cos he can no longer do the things he used to do.

AllThatStuffIsJustStuff

I have been following this thread for a while but haven't yet posted on it much. My wife and I are on a quest to simplify our lives. We have started in earnest with a little operation I have codenamed Project EMG - standing for Everything Must Go. Basically we are selling everything that we do no absolutely need to earn our keep and live.

At first it was a timid excercise, picking out CDs that we didn't listen to much, the odd valuable book or unused nick-nack. But as we've got in to it we've both found it thoroughly liberating. We've now got in to the swing of it and are selling dozens of items on eBay every week. We've now gone radical and we're getting rid of the telly and yesterday I listed all my games consoles and the video player on eBay. I already feel a weight off my mind that they are going.

A couple of weeks ago I was at one of my sister's house for a couple of hours on a beautifully sunny day and her 13 year old son spent the whole time in his room playing on his games console with the curtains closed. I was like that when I was his age and looking back it made me miserable. I kept playing the games all through my teens and early twenties but mostly out of habit. Looking back I can't really say I was ever truly enjoying myself. I am glad for myself to finally be getting rid of them and hope I can spare my kids their curse.

By contrast, the other day my wife and two kids spent about fifteen minutes picking wimberries and it was the most relaxed and contented I have been in years. It's clear which life is going to make me happiest (and hopefully the rest of my family too!).

Anyway, I just wanted to share that and say that I am finding this thread really helpful and hope everyone else is getting as much satisfaction from simplifying their lives.

juliapenguin

lilykins wrote: »

A friend has suggested mindfullness, a principle used in budhism I think (another thing I need to look into).

I'd love to join in with this thread, and I'm also interested in mindfulness.

I went on an expensive mindfulness course but, believe it or not, it triggered massive panic attacks and I had to give up. I tried again with the next course, but got the panic attacks again and luckily got my money back! I don't think it was the mindfulness per se that was the problem, more the fact that the room was so full and some of the people on the course were a mixture of intimidating and smug - the ones in my little group seemed to have the view that they themselves didn't need to know about mindfulness because they were just so spiritual and chilled already, but they were on the course to help them learn to teach others to be as wonderful as themselves.... Maybe I'm just bitter and twisted because the course made me anxious! In any case I'm looking into it again via books.

I've been simplifying for four years and have definitely enjoyed life more as a result. However, I'm having a bit of a breakdown at the moment - two major family bereavements in a year and now my brother is ill with incurable cancer - and am 'between jobs' ie my vile boss was able to use my evil zero hours contract to effectively force me into resigning when I was unable to teach as many hours as he wanted me to. I know I could look into legal action as it's probably constructive dismissal, but I can't face the hassle of a tribunal.

So I'm around the apartment a lot more than I have been for a good while, and I want to use the time to do some further simplifying and decluttering. I love love love this thread and have so enjoyed reading it. Thank you to all the wonderful people who have inspired me so far.

ceridwen

JULIAPENGUIN

Just nipping in to wish you the very best of luck in getting your life sorted out.

One does indeed come across people who regard themselves as very "spiritual and chilled" already - and wonder.....

Personally...I think its wise to try ones best to regard oneself as objectively as possible and realise that 99.9% of us are "human" and do make mistakes/get emotional about things we "shouldnt" or feel we "shouldnt".

We all have our own personal thing we struggle with - mine is my temper. With other people it will be their acquisitiveness. With others it will be their selfishness. We all have something that requires a lot of effort to deal with it.

I DO believe you re the panic attacks being triggered by the "mindfulness" - because I've seen that happen. I've learnt that silence/focus/etc is very beneficial - errr...when I get round to it:o - BUT I've taken someone into a "quiet" setting before now thinking it would help them and promptly seen them dissolve into tears on the spot. At that point it struck me that if someone has recently had a personal tragedy that maybe their way to get through it - at least for a while - will be to keep their mind occupied with anything and everything that comes up of a very ephemeral nature and they will (maybe) come back to this later when they are ready to....

Personally - I tend to think that darn nearly all of us focus darn nearly all of the time on just "following the pattern" - by which I mean whatever people of our age/our sex/our background tend to do as "the norm" and not stop very much and think whether this is what we personally want or need. Its just so darn easy to "follow the pack". Maybe I'm in a bit of a philosophical mood these days - following on from a bit of a personal "I'm not quite sure what happened in my own life over the years - because there were two basic patterns I could have followed - and I didnt follow either of them. Was I actually 'there' in my own life? Why didnt I follow either of those two major patterns that 99.9% of other people seem to have followed?". Its so darn easy for people to go through their lives on Auto Pilot (and just do what everyone else does) and actually it can be one heck of a shock when you realise that you dont seem to have done that...hence I can fully understand why actually mindfulness is deemed to be very beneficial...

Whoops...am I rambling a bit? I do hope not...its an "examine where my life is at" phase at the moment - but hope this is helpful to someone...

juliapenguin

Ceridwen - your post is really helpful. I think mindfulness will be really helpful to me in that I should focus entirely on the things I'm doing at any given moment, rather than letting my thoughts go to worrying about my brother or panicking about being out of work. The mindfulness body scan just triggers panic, so I'm not going to do it.

I've already had one panic attack this morning (after not having them for years) and I think it's about having so much unstructured time. I've gone from working flat out with never a minute to breathe, to being at home all the time, mostly alone. It's only my third day since I finished work, but it feels like I'll never be well again or able to find a new job.

The reason I'm on the simplifying thread is that my mental health improves dramatically in relation to how organised and simple my life becomes. I'm trying to do one small thing in different areas of my life every day eg
- get rid of one unnecessary thing from the home (I follow the ATAD - A Thing A Day - thread on Unclutterer even though I don't often post on it)
- do one thing towards finding a manageable teaching job at a school with a nice boss and low staff turnover eg internet research, let friends know I'm looking
- do something creative like looking for designs for this year's HM Christmas cards (I hope I'll be working near to Christmas so I won't have time later!)
- clean out and declutter one cupboard, drawer or shelf
- do something to look after my health and appearance (eg take care of my nails, book a haircut, take some exercise)
- do some kind of self-help eg do a little bit of my NLP workbook, add something to the folder I'm making with comforting/inspiring pictures, quotes and other stuff.

When I've done all those small things, with rests inbetween, I've made a good part of the day pass productively and peacefully. Does anyone have any ideas about what else I could do to get through this (hopefully temporary) stage of panic at the empty days stretching out ahead of me?

Chickenopolis

juliapenguin- Thank you for such an honest post, it must have been diffcult to write. I cannot know how you feel , as only you know what that feels like.

When I was 29 I was diagnosed as having a very rare and large tumour growing inside of my spinal cord and an orange sized cyst on my brainstem. I could not swallow, cry or sneeze as it had affected these reflexes and it was "throttling" me and I was told without surgery I had 2 months to live. I was told I could be paralysed from the neck down from the op. but that this was better than the alternative.

After the op. I had to learn to walk again as it was like having a stroke. I do not have any feeling down the left side of my body and I have had cervical laminectomies C3-T5.

I had 8 months off of work and my then employers told me that they did not want me to come back as a Personal Assistant as I was to disabled to perform personal care tasks for them. Actually in hindsight this was a blessing .As all of my jobs involved being physically fit (apprentice jockey, fitness instructor, carer etc) I had to rethink what I was going to do with my life. I have since completed a Bsc Honours degree in Social Policy with the O.U (which I did in bed) , and I also work.

juliapenguin during that 8 months recovery time, I knew that I would never get this "me" time again. I allowed myelf to recover slowly and I was so grateful that I was able to do so. When life throws a curved ball (or twelve) no can can tell you how you should be thinking or feeling . Please don't give yourself a hard time by thinking of the "oughts" and "should be's' .I hope that soon there will be more good days than bad days for you which we all strive for.

It sounds as though this point in your life may provide an opportunity for you take a completely new direction , which might not have otherwise happened:)

I wish you luck on your new journey:)

silvasava

juliapenguin - you are being so positive and proactive. I've started to read a book (from the CS) called 'How to get everything done & still have time to play' & one of the things they advocate is deciding to do one thing each day & DOING it! Looks like you've already reached this conclusion under your own steam.
I know the expression 'As one door closes another one opens' (or is that 'slams in your face!) but often its the catalyst for looking at your life & deciding what YOU want - chickenopolis has said it far better than me