Any foster carers on here?

lostinrates

Jillinoz wrote: »

Hi Lostinrates

Just to throw a spanner in the works, but have you actually considered adoption?

Just to reassure you, being 'posh' should not preclude you from being a full-time parent!

I am a single adopter to a now very lively, and incredibly bright, toddler who was 14 months when she was placed with me.

From experience, the majority of social workers are not looking for the 1950s family model, where Daddy goes out to work, but returns at 5, and Mummy stays at home baking cakes etc. I say the majority, as believe it or not, some social workers do still think this is the perfect family model.

Your OH's career path should not preclude you from being considered as adoptive parents, although the ideal is for one parent to stay at home for a minimum of a year post-placement.

Most sensible authorities should have no aversion to cut-glass accents! And if they do, more's the pity for them, as post-Baby P more and more children are being expedited through the care system.

Please do private message me if you would like to discuss further.

Jillinoz

Thank you. we have considered adoption, very seriously. I see the two as very different propositions though, accepting within that there is possible an either/or to be made for the emotions of the child/children one takes responsibility for.

lostinrates

purple12 wrote: »

I'm a relatively new foster carer (we've been fostering for about a year) and my 'day job' is a social worker so sometimes I see things from both sides! Incidently, going through the assessment and dealing with social workers in my private life has been an eye-opener as far as my professional life goes but that's another story for another day..

We don't have children yet and it seems to be quite unusual in the service we work in but it didn't preclude us!

I can say that social workers (and in this sense, I speak as a reasonably experienced social worker) are just as culpable of making assumptions about people.

We foster for the local authority and made a positive decision to do so as I feel uncomfortable about the role of agencies (that is a very personal thing though and partly based on professional experiences - I'm sure there are wonderful ones out there). I have heard the money might be more and perhaps the support better but we have a great social worker - she just needs prodding into action from time to time - and having the confidence to prod is not a bad thing!

Thank you. Its interesting, and in a way reassuring to know that even a professional experience can vary from the same person's personal experience!

We're still mulling at the moment. We are in the middle of (hopefully) buying a house and perhaps this has made feelings about what we could offer a child greater, and that buying a home one thinks of the family set up etc more.

I don't think its a decision to make lightly, or quickly!

Thank you all so very much for sharing experiences and ideas. I know I will be revisiting this and I hope you'll all be around then for more valuable insights!