Having a meltdown!

dancingfairy

Hi. I have only just read your thread - sounds like a horrible time for you. I would try and get proof of the fact he is using your picture as a MSN Avitar - can you get a screen print or anything - this does not sound like the actions of a sane person to me.
Also can you tell your solicitor about the Facebook thing as well - it will all go against him (well it should do) as he is clearly being odd. Perhaps they can arrange for the police to get witness statements or something regarding the facebook thing?
Wish I had some more constructive advice but hang on in there.
df

judi24

Thanks dancingfairy - I thought maybe I was gettting paranoid - with the facebook and avatar thing - I'm glad in a way that you think this is a bit odd behaviour - at least I'm not going insane!. I have tried to contact the police officer that is dealing with the case but can't get get hold of her - the guy on the front desk didn't appear very interested - I have managed to capture the picture using screen print though!

rugbymum

hi Judi
I just caught up with your thread.
Hang on in there. I know your ex has a new gf but his behaviour sounds increasingly odd (just echoing what others have said). Tell your solicitor & take as much proof as you can gather. Not only is he being a difficult s*d regarding the finances, but is seems like he is having some mental health issues. IMO you should also see if you could arrange supervised visits. Given how your son was before (frightened & refusing to speak to him), it may benefit your children in the long term.
Stay strong & don't forget the money stuff is in no way as important as you & your children!

judi24

Why is nothing ever simple!!! Apparantly my ex's solicitor presented the consent order in court today - but judge wouldn't pass it cos my pension details were incomplete - my solicitor asked me to get a pension estimate from my employer - which she has had for months - I only gave her page 1 and 2 of 7 cos 3-7 were just bits of information (no figures) apparently he is saying it is incomplete as it does not have a transfer value on it! My solicitor is saying it should have this on it but my employer is saying that this is a separate thing altogether and would take 6 weeks to get or if i needed it in a hurry i could pay £300 for it!!!!

If this consent order is not obtained today - i will losse my mortgage offer that expires tomorrow!
If i loose this offer i will not get another this good and may not get another at all as my Ex pays the whole mortgage from his account and I pay my half into his account - he has incurred 2 late payments over the last 2 months as he hasn't been able to pay his half!!!

I have tried to get an extension of the mortgage offer but still haven't had a reply!

I could scream!!

Is it me or should my solicitor not have realised before now that my pension documents were not what was needed?

judi24

Just had solicitor on phone - she says the way ex's solicitor has presented the conset order in court is wrong - she should have seen his pension documents and the case should have been presented 4 weeks ago giving time to sort out ant problems such as pensions before my mortgage offer expires - she is thinking on pulling the consent order out of court as if it is passed after my mortgage offer expires (tomorrow) i will still be liable to pay my ex 25k within 56 days even if i don't have a mortgage offer!!!! otherwise it will acrue interest!

What disaster! so by tomorrow it looks like I will have no morgage offer and no consent order! all I need is for him to be found not guilty and there is nothing to stop him coming to the house and harassing me again!

I just want to run away!

Bleachbird

Hi Judi24,
Working in this area, I would echo rugbymum's view and would strongly advise that your 2 children have supervised contact with your ex. I don't think you can trust this man and he appears not to be thinking sensibly at all. I would worry about the unpredictability of his behaviour and the undertones to it all- i.e using your picture. Spaek to your solicitor about it.
BB x

judi24

Just wanted to give an update - The court case has now been postponed at my ex's request(don't know why!) I was all psyched up for tomorrow but now I have to wait till 16th Dec! I just wish it was over! I'm not sure I even care if he is found guilty or not - I just want it over!

I am trying hard to think positively about the postponmnet - the consent order that need to be granted for me to buy him out of the house has been granted - so my new mortgage (0.99% above BOE base rate) should be sorted before the court case. If that happens, even if he is found not guilty, the house will be mine so he can't use the excuse that the house is half his! If he turns up at any time, whoever is in the house will be able to call the police due to trespassing! that alone will give us a little more security!

The kids are great at the moment! They are seeing him every second weekend - but they seem much more settled and thier behaviour has improved!

I have joined the pay off 20k by Dec 2009 challenge - so I am motivated to clear my debt by next year - then if I can't continue to work full time night shift I will either be able to reduce my hours of go onto days as money will not be so tight!

Thanks for all your support x