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Scared to tell anyone!!

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I have been browsing here for a while and have been too embarrased to post so far but here goes...
I'm 25 and approx £27k in debt. No-one knows the full extent of it as I'm too ashamed to admit what a mess I have gotten into. I cant see any way out of it sometimes and I'm terrified.
I cant go bankrupt or enter into a DMP as I work in finance and would lose my job and anyway I desperately want to pay it all back. I feel like I've been juggling debt forever and its just so overwhelming and exhausting I dont even know where to start anymore.
Its a relief just to have found that there are people in the same situation and to be able to tell someone.

Shoe_gal
«13

Comments

  • Deep_In_Debt
    Options
    Hi and welcome.
    Don't feel ashamed. I felt like that. I'm in a similar amount of debt. I can't open up to my family but my mates have been great and support me in ways they don't realise - so perhaps talk to a close friend?

    By the way I work in Finance in quite a high role but I'm on a dmp - so have you checked your contract to find out if you can go on a dmp? I can't go bankrupt but there is nothing to say I can't do a dmp - in fact I've been open about it at work which has also helped.
    Debt 30k in 2008.:eek::o Cleared all my debt in 2013 and loving being debt free :)
    Mortgage free since 2014 :)
  • robpw2
    robpw2 Posts: 14,044 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
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    well done for coming here this is the first step

    1. write an soa work out what you spend and what you recieve and see if we can save you some money
    2. stop spending now
    3. start considering what you would like to do if you can no longer work in financial industry , if they were to find out you was 27k in debt they will sack you so i think you need to start looking just in case( i know some places that have sacked staff for not being honest about debts, and also because they have debts are worried about possible fraud etc)
    4. stop worrying , small steps make big changes


    Slimming world start 28/01/2012 starting weight 21st 2.5lb current weight 17st 9-total loss 3st 7.5lb
    Slimmer of the month February , March ,April
  • **Amy**
    **Amy** Posts: 2,680 Forumite
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    Hi

    Welcome and well done for posting.

    Check your contract as above poster has suggested.

    Also, it would be a good idea to post an SOA (statement of affairs), you could be surprised at the advice you get.

    http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

    It could also help you to have a chat with one of the debt charities so that you dont feel like there is no way out of it all.

    www.cccs.co.uk or www.nationaldebtline.co.uk are good.

    xx
    Debt: just my mortgage :D
  • poorandindenial
    Options
    Hi shoe_gal

    Welcome to the boards and well done for posting. You are in good company here.

    If you have been hovering for a while you will know this all already but...

    The critical question is whether you can meet the monthly repayments or not? Can you? If not then you need to be really creative about how you solve this (but don't worry, we can help with creative). If you can then this is good and we just have to work out how you can repay faster so that you can get your head back above water sooner.

    Have you put together a SOA (statement of affairs)? If so then you will know the answer to the question above. You are welcome to post it on here and have it get a good going over from people here who may be able to find ways to make your money go further (posting your SOA is one of the easiest ways for us to give you help - check out www.makesenseofcards.com and click on statement of affairs calculator.

    If, when you have done your SOA, the numbers say you have a surplus then you can put this amount into the snowball calculator at www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx, If you have a surplus but neverseem to actually have it then you need to keep a spending diary as you will have underestimated what you are spending on an area or some areas of your SOA.

    Right, now I have waffled at you for ages, lets get to the basics...

    1) how much do you owe and what are the APRs?
    2) can you afford the repayments each month?
    3) could you pay more each month?
    £34,547 (Dec 07); Current debt: £zilch (Debt free December 2010)
    Sealed Pot #389 (2010=£133)
  • shoe_gal_7
    Options
    Thank you for all your replies and advice. Currently I am meeting all my payments so I don't have arrears but feel stuck in a constant cycle of spending on credit cards each month just to meet basic expenses so I never seem to get anywhere with paying back. I am definately going to do my SOA, check my contract and am even considering talking to my parents about it all although it will not go down well. Really feel like I've let them down which is the worst part. Will post my SOA once I have worked it out. Thank you so much for your kind words. xx
  • Deep_In_Debt
    Options
    As I say I work in the financial services industry and my contract says I can't go bankrupt so IVA was also not suitable just in case but nothing about a dmp. I got a friend/colleague to make an anonymous (sp?) call on my behalf to HR as I didn't have the nerve! They said a dmp was fine (I work for a large, well known company) Since then, I came clean and they have been really supportive, even helping me write letters.

    I know what it feels like to tell parents. I sort of did it - they don't know the full extent. They've done so much for me financially and I've still messed it up which is why I couldn't tell them. However, I have a lot of close friends, some of whom are colleagues, and they've all been brilliant, so I've opened up to them instead and it's really helped. Also feel happier that work know - I've been with my company nearly 12 years. You'd be surprised at how many people in financial services are in debt but don't like to admit it because of the industry I guess! We're all human and make mistakes - that's what my HR dept said.

    Sorry, I've waffled on.

    Please do keep posting on here and do post up your SOA. It certainly helped me when the experts checked it over.

    Good luck.
    Debt 30k in 2008.:eek::o Cleared all my debt in 2013 and loving being debt free :)
    Mortgage free since 2014 :)
  • longforthesun
    Options
    Well done on posting. My OH and I owe 39k and are just starting out on a DMP. No one knows about or debt. I have started my own thread to keep track of my DMP and also to get my thoughts out as I have no one other than OH to talk too and it is helping. I agree with other posters that working in the finance industry and entering into a DMP may not affect your job. I used to work in finance and as my job was only clerical it would not have been affected by my DMP but best to check your contract.
    February 2013 NSD - 4
  • shoe_gal_7
    Options
    Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

    Monthly Income Details
    Monthly income after tax................ 1250
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
    Benefits................................ 0
    Other income............................ 0
    Total monthly income.................... 1250


    Monthly Expense Details
    Mortgage................................ 0
    Secured loan repayments................. 0
    Rent.................................... 140
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 0
    Electricity............................. 0
    Gas..................................... 0
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 0
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 50
    TV Licence.............................. 0
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 45
    Internet Services....................... 18
    Groceries etc. ......................... 0
    Clothing................................ 0
    Petrol/diesel........................... 130
    Road tax................................ 12
    Car Insurance........................... 60
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
    Car parking............................. 0
    Other travel............................ 22
    Childcare/nursery....................... 0
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 13
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 0
    Contents insurance...................... 0
    Life assurance ......................... 0
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
    Haircuts................................ 0
    Entertainment........................... 58
    Holiday................................. 0
    Emergency fund.......................... 0
    Total monthly expenses.................. 548


    Assets
    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 0
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 2000
    Other assets............................ 0
    Total Assets............................ 2000


    No Secured Debt

    Unsecured Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Card 1.........................1490......38........4.9
    Card 2.........................4816......116.......6.95
    Card 3.........................5791......116.......0
    Card 5.........................700.......13........15.9
    Loan...........................11016.....269.......9.9
    Card 4.........................3200......150.......18.9
    Total unsecured debts..........27013.....702.......-


    Monthly Budget Summary
    Total monthly income.................... 1,250
    Expenses (including secured debts)....... 548
    Available for debt repayments........... 702
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 702
    Surplus(deficit if negative)............ 0


    Personal Balance Sheet Summary
    Total assets (things you own)........... 2,000
    Total Secured debt...................... -0
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -27,013
    Net Assets.............................. -25,013


    Created using the SOA calculator at https://www.makesenseofcards.com.
    Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission.


    ======== Enter any other useful information below ========

    e.g. the number of adults & children in the household, the number

    of cars included in the SOA or anything else that may be useful. Hmm this is quite rough but hopefull you can have some idea. Really any advice is welcome.
  • got-it-spend-it
    Options
    robpw2 wrote: »
    well done for coming here this is the first step

    1. write an soa work out what you spend and what you recieve and see if we can save you some money
    2. stop spending now
    3. start considering what you would like to do if you can no longer work in financial industry , if they were to find out you was 27k in debt they will sack you so i think you need to start looking just in case( i know some places that have sacked staff for not being honest about debts, and also because they have debts are worried about possible fraud etc)
    4. stop worrying , small steps make big changes

    Please don't worry that you will be sacked if your debt is out in the open as this is not the case! I used to work for a large financial services company and unless you are an FSA approved person it is basically none of their business what you owe (particularly if you are paying it back with no arrears). As for saying they are worried about fraud, that's a bit like saying you can't work on the checkout at Tesco because you're more likely to steal the cash!

    Some good advice on here. Post an SOA and I'm sure people will make some good suggestions on how you can do a sensible budget.
    :DYummy mummy, runner, baker and procrastinator :p
  • shoe_gal_7
    Options
    Well done on posting. My OH and I owe 39k and are just starting out on a DMP. No one knows about or debt. I have started my own thread to keep track of my DMP and also to get my thoughts out as I have no one other than OH to talk too and it is helping. I agree with other posters that working in the finance industry and entering into a DMP may not affect your job. I used to work in finance and as my job was only clerical it would not have been affected by my DMP but best to check your contract.
    Glad to hear its helping you too. I feel as though if I were to tell my friends (although they would be lovely) they would not understand not having been there.
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