Taken CSA 9 years to let me know I owe 43K - Help!!!

greypj

I have just got married on 8th August 2008.

My wife, my two step-daughters aged 7 and 10, and our son age 3, have just got back from our Honeymoon on 26th August 2008.

On 6th September 2008 I received two letters from the CSA.

I divorced in 1996. I have 2 daughters now aged 14 and 16.

When I first split up with my ex wife the arrangement we had was I would look after our daughters while she went to work at the weekends.

I had moved out our home and was advised I should sign the house over to her – which I did do in February 1996.

After a bitter divorce she stopped me having contact with our daughters.

I found out she had not been paying the mortgage and had handed the keys back to the Bank. This left me owing arrears on the mortgage which had incurred before I signed the house over.

I was giving her money each week for the children (I have no proof money was given to her). I stopped giving her money when she insisted I was to have no contact with my children.

The last time I had a conversation with my ex wife she told me to keep away as the children weren’t even mine – how true this is I don’t know.

She and her family made it hard for me to find them.

I was left heartbroken I still to this day only have 2 pictures of my daughters she didn’t let me have anything.

She contacted the CSA.

In September 1998 I received a letter confirming that a deduction from earnings order had been made. I would be paying maintenance of £466.94 on 01/08/98 and £376.86 on 01/09/98 to be deducted monthly thereafter which was taken directly from my wages

I was made bankrupt in 1998 due to the mortgage arrears and joint loan I had with her.

A letter received February 1999 from CSA stated my arrears were £10,281.16.

I was led to believe by my insolvency practitioner who had all the details including the CSA arrears that the bankruptcy had covered all my debts, as I heard nothing back to say otherwise.

I now know differently.

I changed jobs and she re-married, I heard nothing from the CSA.

Maybe looking back I was naive I should have contacted the CSA myself but I was totally destroyed what with the divorce, losing my children, the thought the children weren’t mine and the bankruptcy.

I just thought as she had re-married and as I had had no contact with the children she had stopped using the CSA for maintenance.

I also found out that she had changed my daughter’s surnames to her new husband’s name which I did not give my consent to and would like to find out if this has been done legally. I registered both the births so it’s my name of their birth certificates.

This also makes me believe the children may not be mine as she was found out to having an affair before and during our marriage to the guy who is now her husband.

9 years on and I have just received a letter from the CSA saying an attachment of earnings has been made of £173.94 payable 2 weekly from 15/09/08 and their records show I owe outstanding maintenance of £42780.85.

From 1999 to 2008 why has it taken the CSA this long to find me? It’s not as if I left the Country, they have always had all my details I have always worked and have paid NI and tax so why has it taken so long to send me these demands.

I know as a father if the children are mine I should pay towards their up-keep but when the mother can be so crawl to stop her own children seeing their dad its not always that easy to come to an agreement.

I have no dispute in paying the maintenance I just can’t understand that I have had no knowledge of this.

It has taken a long time to get over losing my wife, children and house and being made bankrupt, all this being no fault of my own.

If they had contacted me earlier the outstanding maintenance wouldn’t be so horrific. There is no way I can pay this amount.

Now my new family are going to suffer as a family with a mortgage of £980.00 a month, Council tax, Utility Bills, Car Loan, Credit Card Bill etc etc we are really going to struggle to pay the 2 weekly payments of £173.94.

My wife gave up work when she had our son. She receives CSA of £45.00 a week from her ex. It just seems that the CSA are taking from our family to give to a family I am not allowed to see.

I just can’t understand why the CSA can do this, they seem to be law to themselves and don’t care about all the emotional stress and worry their letters cause.

The CSA seems to be all for resident parents only and don’t take into consideration the heartache that resident parent can cause!

I have seen the CAB for advice which said all they could suggest is statute barred debts over 6 years which they were not sure if the CSA is exempt from.

I obviously don’t have the money to get a Solicitor to fight this.

I need advise on this matter as we are worried sick how we are going to get through this without my 3 young children being affected.

frugallass

The last time I had a conversation with my ex wife she told me to keep away as the children weren’t even mine – how true this is I don’t know. If the CSA are demanding money then you should demand a DNA test



I have no dispute in paying the maintenance I just can’t understand that I have had no knowledge of this. typical CSA



If they had contacted me earlier the outstanding maintenance wouldn’t be so horrific. There is no way I can pay this amount. they'll tell you that they accept payment by debit card !

My wife gave up work when she had our son. She receives CSA of £45.00 a week from her ex. It just seems that the CSA are taking from our family to give to a family I am not allowed to see. I'd suggest obtaining legal advice asap regarding contact

I just can’t understand why the CSA can do this, they seem to be law to themselves and don’t care about all the emotional stress and worry their letters cause. so so true

The CSA seems to be all for resident parents only and don’t take into consideration the heartache that resident parent can cause! I disagree with your statement - some PWC's are having a hard time too

I obviously don’t have the money to get a Solicitor to fight this. you might be able to get a free half hour appointment/consultation

Loopy_Girl

I have just got married on 8th August 2008.

My wife, my two step-daughters aged 7 and 10, and our son age 3, have just got back from our Honeymoon on 26th August 2008.

On 6th September 2008 I received two letters from the CSA.

I divorced in 1996. I have 2 daughters now aged 14 and 16.

When I first split up with my ex wife the arrangement we had was I would look after our daughters while she went to work at the weekends.

I had moved out our home and was advised I should sign the house over to her – which I did do in February 1996.

After a bitter divorce she stopped me having contact with our daughters.

I found out she had not been paying the mortgage and had handed the keys back to the Bank. This left me owing arrears on the mortgage which had incurred before I signed the house over.

I was giving her money each week for the children (I have no proof money was given to her). I stopped giving her money when she insisted I was to have no contact with my children.
Maintenance has nothing to do with access. You should have put it in a bank account for the girls when they are older to show that Dad did still care even if Mum was being a !!!!.

The last time I had a conversation with my ex wife she told me to keep away as the children weren’t even mine – how true this is I don’t know.

She and her family made it hard for me to find them.

I was left heartbroken I still to this day only have 2 pictures of my daughters she didn’t let me have anything.

She contacted the CSA.

In September 1998 I received a letter confirming that a deduction from earnings order had been made. I would be paying maintenance of £466.94 on 01/08/98 and £376.86 on 01/09/98 to be deducted monthly thereafter which was taken directly from my wages

I was made bankrupt in 1998 due to the mortgage arrears and joint loan I had with her.

A letter received February 1999 from CSA stated my arrears were £10,281.16.

I was led to believe by my insolvency practitioner who had all the details including the CSA arrears that the bankruptcy had covered all my debts, as I heard nothing back to say otherwise.

I now know differently.


You need to get in touch with your insolvency company ASAP. If this was the case then the CSA would be named on paperwork, including the stuff you would have signed.


I changed jobs and she re-married, I heard nothing from the CSA.

Maybe looking back I was naive I should have contacted the CSA myself but I was totally destroyed what with the divorce, losing my children, the thought the children weren’t mine and the bankruptcy.

I just thought as she had re-married and as I had had no contact with the children she had stopped using the CSA for maintenance.

I also found out that she had changed my daughter’s surnames to her new husband’s name which I did not give my consent to and would like to find out if this has been done legally. I registered both the births so it’s my name of their birth certificates.

Perfectly legal. Sounds like she has changed the names to match her new name and told the school etc etc. Anyone can change their name if they wish. If she wanted to do it by deed poll, that's different as she would need your permission.


This also makes me believe the children may not be mine as she was found out to having an affair before and during our marriage to the guy who is now her husband.

You can arrange a DNA but as you are named on the b/certs and were married at the time of birth then you are presumed to be the parent as you accepted parentage when you agreed to your name being on the certs. If you want to dispute then check with CSA which companies they will take any evidence of parentage should the need arise. The CSA will not arrange one on your behalf in this case.


9 years on and I have just received a letter from the CSA saying an attachment of earnings has been made of £173.94 payable 2 weekly from 15/09/08 and their records show I owe outstanding maintenance of £42780.85.

From 1999 to 2008 why has it taken the CSA this long to find me? It’s not as if I left the Country, they have always had all my details I have always worked and have paid NI and tax so why has it taken so long to send me these demands.There appears to be a crackdown and it seems to be with non resident parents who haven't been in touch for a good few years and maybe thought the CSA had 'went away'.

I know as a father if the children are mine I should pay towards their up-keep but when the mother can be so crawl to stop her own children seeing their dad its not always that easy to come to an agreement.

Back to the putting it in a bank account scenario
I have no dispute in paying the maintenance I just can’t understand that I have had no knowledge of this.

You have really - you have admitted you were 'naive' not getting in touch and you also thought the bankruptcy had sorted it. But you knew that maintenance should have been paid but you were so hacked off you couldn't get to see the children, nothing was done about it.

It has taken a long time to get over losing my wife, children and house and being made bankrupt, all this being no fault of my own.

If they had contacted me earlier the outstanding maintenance wouldn’t be so horrific. There is no way I can pay this amount.

Now my new family are going to suffer as a family with a mortgage of £980.00 a month, Council tax, Utility Bills, Car Loan, Credit Card Bill etc etc we are really going to struggle to pay the 2 weekly payments of £173.94.

My wife gave up work when she had our son. She receives CSA of £45.00 a week from her ex. It just seems that the CSA are taking from our family to give to a family I am not allowed to see.

Your eldest is 16 now. Why don't you write to her directly?

I just can’t understand why the CSA can do this, they seem to be law to themselves and don’t care about all the emotional stress and worry their letters cause.


The CSA seems to be all for resident parents only and don’t take into consideration the heartache that resident parent can cause!

Charming comment! I am a PWC and have had nothing for 7 years - since the day my daughter was born essentially. Why would they take the 'heartache into consideration'?!!! They are not marriage guidance I'm afraid. Do you want a discount as it was a messy divorce?!!!

I have seen the CAB for advice which said all they could suggest is statute barred debts over 6 years which they were not sure if the CSA is exempt from.

I obviously don’t have the money to get a Solicitor to fight this.

No point. They can't touch maintenance and as soon as you mention CSA they will tell you they have no jurisdiction.

I need advise on this matter as we are worried sick how we are going to get through this without my 3 young children being affected.

To be honest, for that amount I am very surprised they are doing a DEO. I would have thought they would try and get a huge lum sum payment and then get the balance paid over a period of time.

Loopy_Girl

You'll need to ascertain exactly where they are getting this figure from as well.

I assume you will be on CSA1 which is a very complex calculation but you will be entitled to see, over the years, how they have got to this figure.

welshpaula

csa debt cannot be included in bankruptcy as it is maintenance arrears !

kelloggs36

Do you know if the CSA have done a full assessment recently, or is it a penalty one? I suggest you get an up to date one done as the last one will be out of date.

SuziQ

With regards to the children's surnames we have been down the legal route about this subject.
My ex's oldest boy changed his name by deed-poll on his 16th birthday and then wrote to his dad to tell him-legal.
The 13 year old asked to do the same but couldn't without my husbands' agreement.

However the youngest was using his stepfathers' name at school-not on any of the official paperwork,but he changed all his school books to his stepdads' name. He has also done the same at the new school (my ex's ex moves every couple of years) and although-by law-schools have to use the childs name on their birth certificate and this can be enforced, I asked my ex to consider his sons' feelings and not interfere. He is the only person now in his new family with a different name-and finds it difficult.So why should his real dad enforce something to make a bad situation harder?
There have been several test cases weher mothers have tried to change a childs' surname without the fathers' permission an the precedent has been set,that the birth name is an integral part of a childs' identity and should be preserved.
However,as I said to my ex,being 'right' doesn't always mean that's the best thing sometimes. My advice was for him to write to his son and tell him he still loves him dearly and will always be his dad,but that whilst he was against him 'officially' changing his name until older as it was his only link with his much-loved son,he wouldn't interfere with his use of his new family nake at school as he understood how difficult it must be.

With my ex I never even know if he is listening,let alone whether he ever acts on anything I say,so have no idea whether he has done anything about this yet,but from his sons' point of view I think my sugggestion is the kindest option.

marsupial_mama

I am sorry to hear the worries and troubles you are having. I can understand the anguish it can cause you and your family.

Not much of the advice here, I am not knowledgeable at all, but I know how some PWC can play games (and vice versa)

My SIL is one of these PWC. She milks CSA for all she can, two of her kids left her for her drinking (aged 11 and 12) to leave with theior dad, but now she lies she has them at weekends, so she does not have to pay child support to dad (who was paying for 8 years to her).

However, there was also a situation where she split up with a dad of her first child and he had dad unknown on birth certificate. However, a few years down the line she reported him as a father (some kind of revenge). As he had no permanent residency or job, they only caught him years later when they briefly moved in together again. When CSA did catch him at work (letter delivered to work!!!), he was supposed to owe over £32,000. He did come to some kind of arrangement though after calling them as this included some penalties and the actual amount was lower and is now being paid slowly.

Do get in touch with them and see what you can find out. If you think kids are not yours, then you can consider DNA. However, if they are and if your ex is so spiteful, then I would reconsider what emotional distress and heartache would this cause to your children.

I am also confused about the signing house over and payment arrears for which you were bankrupt. If your way handed the keys back, then bank probably sold the house to get the debt back. The difference then goes to house owner. So, if you were jointly liable up to the split, then both of your arrears should have been paid from the sale of the house? I would find it hard to believe that the house sold for so little that it wouldn't cover at least some of the arrears. Perhaps worth exploring what happened? If in fact she benefited from your investment in the house while you were together, then perhaps that proportion is due to you and she can pay that to CSA? Not sure if I make sense LOL

Good luck in any case!

Andreja

Loopy_Girl

SuziQ wrote: »

However the youngest was using his stepfathers' name at school-not on any of the official paperwork,but he changed all his school books to his stepdads' name. He has also done the same at the new school (my ex's ex moves every couple of years) and although-by law-schools have to use the childs name on their birth certificate and this can be enforced, I asked my ex to consider his sons' feelings and not interfere. He is the only person now in his new family with a different name-and finds it difficult.So why should his real dad enforce something to make a bad situation harder?
There have been several test cases weher mothers have tried to change a childs' surname without the fathers' permission an the precedent has been set,that the birth name is an integral part of a childs' identity and should be preserved.

I have never heard of that Suzi. My half sister took my Dad's name when she was 2 years old and went through all her school years known by that name. The only time that her real surname was ever used in an official capacity was when she got married and the priest had to use the name that was on her birth certificate.

I teach in a deprived area and surnames are getting changed all the time as new 'uncles' appear on the scene. Also many of the children's fornames are changed. I see it on paperwork..."name" and then "known as". I think in this day and age it is accepted that there are many kinds of family and the old traditional giving the baby Dad's surname when it is born is long gone. Should I ever get married then I will be changing my daughter's surname from mine (which she has) to my new married name.

Legally you can call yourself what you want providing you are not changing your name for fraudulent reasons.


Do you have a link for the school law stuff as I would be interested to read it?

::OMG::

SuziQ wrote: »

With regards to the children's surnames we have been down the legal route about this subject.
My ex's oldest boy changed his name by deed-poll on his 16th birthday and then wrote to his dad to tell him-legal.
The 13 year old asked to do the same but couldn't without my husbands' agreement.

However the youngest was using his stepfathers' name at school-not on any of the official paperwork,but he changed all his school books to his stepdads' name. He has also done the same at the new school (my ex's ex moves every couple of years) and although-by law-schools have to use the childs name on their birth certificate and this can be enforced, I asked my ex to consider his sons' feelings and not interfere. He is the only person now in his new family with a different name-and finds it difficult.So why should his real dad enforce something to make a bad situation harder?
There have been several test cases weher mothers have tried to change a childs' surname without the fathers' permission an the precedent has been set,that the birth name is an integral part of a childs' identity and should be preserved.
However,as I said to my ex,being 'right' doesn't always mean that's the best thing sometimes. My advice was for him to write to his son and tell him he still loves him dearly and will always be his dad,but that whilst he was against him 'officially' changing his name until older as it was his only link with his much-loved son,he wouldn't interfere with his use of his new family nake at school as he understood how difficult it must be.

With my ex I never even know if he is listening,let alone whether he ever acts on anything I say,so have no idea whether he has done anything about this yet,but from his sons' point of view I think my sugggestion is the kindest option.

If the father has full Parental Rights and Responsibilities, then the child cannot change his/her name without consent from BOTH parents. Just in the same way that one parent cannot apply for a poassport for a child without the other's consent.

Admittedely, hard to police, but if a name change is completed before the age of sixteen, without joint consent then the other parent may face prosecution.

Loopy_Girl

::OMG:: wrote: »

Just in the same way that one parent cannot apply for a poassport for a child without the other's consent.

Sorry but that is complete rubbish. I have no contact with my daughter's father and I was easily able to get a passport for her. So long as one of the parents named on the child's birth certificate is applying then there is no problem.

In the USA the 2 parents must be physically present at the passport office but in the UK you apply the normal way and wait to see if you are the one that gets called in for a check.