Help really Worried we are going to go under!

imcognito

LOL I have already made a list of people we normally buy for at Christmas!! Its scary! Think some will have to make do.. Was thinking of getting pictures of boys done and framing them for the oldies! I mean between 4/5 couples that should bring the cost down a lot (of the pictures I mean Pixiphoto tho not sure how expensive it is.

Have rang barclayard about the Life of balance offer and they are sending me a letter with reference code on it so I can call back and do it. That should help.. and possibly be JUST in time for my Egg offer they usually offer me something every october?? or November, do they still do that? So if I could clear the egg to barclaycard I then might be able to clear the Overdraft to egg all at better rates. ??

Is tihs the right thing to do???

imcognito

cathij0269 wrote: »

Hia, I had exactly the same problems as you when I had my 2nd baby 14years ago (I now have 4). I gave up work to be a SAHM and it was hard at first but once I adjusted I realised that I actually enjoyed it. It did mean I had to re-evaluate all of our expenses and start living in the real world (which was hard because I was used to a comfy life). I got rid of childcare (although living in Wales we are lucky that all children are entitled to a part time place in Nursery school at 3 years old), the council run some great mum +toddler/baby groups which I used to get some free social interaction/play till their worn out, through this I made some great friends and formed a babysitting circle for some much needed "grown up" time. I sold my expensive to run car and bought a small cheap one, and started to walk most places - I made a fun thing out of it, pointing out things to the kids on the way, passing through the park for some more free fun time/feeding ducks. I cut up our credit cards and used cash for everyday things (and debit card for internet). My phone is a cheap PAYG one - only used in an emergency or if the school need me in an emergency or for people to call me. I convinced grandparents that what the kids really needed for christmas (especially when they were young) was clothes - they already had too many toys. I was (and still am) totally ruthless when it came to budgeting - do I really need it?
It is going to be hard with your next child because she's a girl - and you will have the huge urge to go and buy loads of pretty girly things (I did) but try and reuse as many things as you can from the boys. Start buying one or two bits every month now (packets of own brand nappies etc) so you will have a stock by january when your costs will really increase. I used terry nappies for when I was in the house (using disposables for going out - carrying wet nappies everywhere didn't appeal!), just soak in a bucket and wash - altogether cost about £20 and saved a fortune.
We eventually got our finances on a more managable level and after a good few years became debt free, it was hard and sometimes I wondered what I had become but it was worth it. Especially as the kids get older and they want more money than ever - pocket money, school uniform (my 11 year old has just cost me £150 for a basic comprehensive school uniform this month),school trips, craft projectsdinner money, driving lessons (eldest is now 17!) etc - they get more expensive, so now is the time to save as much as you can.
I am concerned that you don't have any content insurance on your house - the average home has approx £20-30K worth of stuff in it (just try and imagine how much it would cost to replace just your clothes).
Good luck with the new baby, enjoy every moment with them, they grow up way too fast. Being a SAHM can be the most stressful but rewarding job in the world - what other job is there where you will be remembered in 100 years time and the little traditions you have and the things you do and say will be passed on to generations to come.
I wish you well

Thank you for your words. Yes rewarding hard tho!

We do have contents its in with the buildings just didnt know the breakdown. !

Might look into cloth nappies again, I did use for a while with DS1 but found trousers hard!! might see if I can do again especially as I am home. I sold all mnine and I know ebay stopped people sellign them a while back.!!

Thanks

RAS

Hi

Apart from the photos, how about framed hand prints or footprints of the boys?

imcognito

Yep could do that! We have them in their bedroom! We did last year for ourselves!! Will see if They do the cheap canvas anywhere as thats what we did before.
Thanks forgot about that!

tyllwyd

imcognito wrote: »

Have rang barclayard about the Life of balance offer and they are sending me a letter with reference code on it so I can call back and do it. That should help.. and possibly be JUST in time for my Egg offer they usually offer me something every october?? or November, do they still do that? So if I could clear the egg to barclaycard I then might be able to clear the Overdraft to egg all at better rates. ??

Is tihs the right thing to do???

It sounds like a good plan BUT I do think you should speak to a debt charity before you actually do it, in case you decide you want to go on a DMP or go bankrupt, because it might mean that you have to wait a bit before you start.

What is your plan at the moment? Do you think that you can cut back enough to be able to cope without defaulting on the debts? What about this overtime that your OH is due - are you going to try to pay it off a debt, or keep it back so that you can use it to make minimum payments if he has another lean month?

imcognito

tyllwyd wrote: »

It sounds like a good plan BUT I do think you should speak to a debt charity before you actually do it, in case you decide you want to go on a DMP or go bankrupt, because it might mean that you have to wait a bit before you start.

What is your plan at the moment? Do you think that you can cut back enough to be able to cope without defaulting on the debts? What about this overtime that your OH is due - are you going to try to pay it off a debt, or keep it back so that you can use it to make minimum payments if he has another lean month?

Will be speaking to debt charity on Thursday when I have someone to look after boys.

Dh thinks (pretty certain) that he will get enough for the next 4 paychecks to cover us. (So till end of year) This month Sept and Oct should both be really high (6K) wheras Nov and Dec will be around the 4.5 he thinks.

So will probably pay off what we can and put some by for Xmas and birthdays (Ds2 and half of my family is Dec /jan!) plus the new arrival there are some things we need but am going through my list of what I wanted and cutting it back!!! Drastically!

tyllwyd

imcognito wrote: »

... So will probably pay off what we can and put some by for Xmas and birthdays (Ds2 and half of my family is Dec /jan!) ...

You know, I think you need to put your own kids first - financially you are on a knife edge at the moment, with a new baby coming, huge debts and no savings. I assume the other family members are adults? Let's face it, they don't need presents - I think you need to face up to the fact that you really don't have any money to buy them anything, you need to get things sorted at home first.

imcognito

tyllwyd wrote: »

You know, I think you need to put your own kids first - financially you are on a knife edge at the moment, with a new baby coming, huge debts and no savings. I assume the other family members are adults? Let's face it, they don't need presents - I think you need to face up to the fact that you really don't have any money to buy them anything, you need to get things sorted at home first.

9 adults 10 kids!!!! Not including mine.

You are right they dont need pressies. Have decided to let the boys decorate some shortbread for the really old ones and will stick in a nice tin (all old grandparents like tins right LOL) and do the photos. One for each of them then something for our parents as a token too, we will just have to face up and tell them that we are broke! think it might come as a shock to them!

RAS

That's it.

You will be DF before you know it.

imcognito

RAS wrote: »

That's it.

You will be DF before you know it.

I hope so!!! I would rather pay it off and be done with it!.. its a lot to pay off tho. Think will tackle one at a time and throw everything we can at it,