Help really Worried we are going to go under!

moo2moo

Quoting from post #46 "Have hardly any food in, dont know what I am gonna feed kids me and Dh will be fine but them/?? will go thru freezer but am sure is full of rubbish"

Why is your freezer full of "rubbish"? At some point you chose to buy whatevers in there. Perhaps if you list whats in there we can give you some suggestions to use it up rather than ignoring it.

Being debt free by your OHs 30th birthday is one heck of a challenge, you've built the debt up over time, its going to take time to get rid of it too. Set yourself regular achievable targets and whatever happens good luck.

chinatown_2

imcognito wrote: »

I think I would struggle to find a job, I am visably pregnant. I know they are not supposed to discriminate but chances of me finding a job now surely are slim? (unlike my belly!!)

Apologies if this has been posted as I havent reached the end of the thread yet but if you struggle to get a job try something like Avon. You can work from home to fit around your family and now is the best time to get started as the christmas books bring in huge sales, you get 25% profit on the sales. Ok so its not much but you could keep to profits aside to pay for xmas pressies.
I joined Avon when I was 7 months pregnant and managed fine. When I was tired I didnt go out, on energetic days I enjoyed the walk and fresh air.

Hope you sort your situation out soon, Im also here to look for advice so Im thoroughly reading the great advice youve had on here.

moanymoany

My neighbour worked at Sainsburys while her dh was at home to look after the children. As I remember she did weekends. This meant she got a few bargains as well.

In_Search_Of_Me

Hope youre ok? It can be overwhelming but you'll get there! You didnt say what oh thought reading the thread?

moanymoany

imcognito wrote: »

Will be speaking to debt charity on Thursday when I have someone to look after boys.

Dh thinks (pretty certain) that he will get enough for the next 4 paychecks to cover us. (So till end of year) This month Sept and Oct should both be really high (6K) wheras Nov and Dec will be around the 4.5 he thinks.

So will probably pay off what we can and put some by for Xmas and birthdays (Ds2 and half of my family is Dec /jan!) plus the new arrival there are some things we need but am going through my list of what I wanted and cutting it back!!! Drastically!

NOOOOOOOOO! You pay it ALLLLLLL off your debts. Presents, things for the new baby - nonsense. Do you realise how near you are to bankruptcy? From losing everything?

I don't like being so blunt, but this post says you really haven't got a grip and it needed saying. You have two children, don't you have the basics of baby stuff left? There is a board for babies, go on there and see how other people have babies on a shoestring - because imcognito, that is really all that you have.

Be honest with your family, tell them there will be no presents - go to charity shops with a couple of pounds and buy token presents - books for children is always a good idea. You cannot afford to buy for anyone - even your children should be on charity shop pressies - you have no spare money to spend on anything but essential food and basics of everything else, even heating and cars, things you may see as essentials.

You must get your feet on the ground and live in the real world. There is so much help on here for you, challenges are such an inspiration for people to get and stay on track.

You need to sit down with your OH and really talk about your situation, take off the rose tinted specs and - difficult though it is - look your situation in the face and make plans to get yourselves out of the mess.

moanymoany

I find it interesting that one post with a bit of straight speaking and the thread dries up. Not what people want to hear ... being nice does not always help, sometimes a bit of tough love is called for.

The situation is as it is - being nice and stroking and saying 'you're doing great' will not help people who are really on the edge of disaster, to draw back. They need to have the push that makes them realise how dire their situation is.

I can only hope.

Flower08

moanymoany wrote: »

I find it interesting that one post with a bit of straight speaking and the thread dries up. Not what people want to hear ... being nice does not always help, sometimes a bit of tough love is called for.

The situation is as it is - being nice and stroking and saying 'you're doing great' will not help people who are really on the edge of disaster, to draw back. They need to have the push that makes them realise how dire their situation is.

I can only hope.

Hi - i have just finished reading this thread and i have to say i agree with you here. Unfortunatly i do think OP still has the rose tinted specs on and things that i (and many others on here) would see as luxeries are being seen as essesntials here.

Having said that OP is taking steps in the right direction and i do wish her all the luck with tackling the debts. Keep posting on here because there are so many people that will help you, and it will actually help and inspire you to keep on track!

ALIBOBSY

We had a couple of years when we just sent cards to ev1 at christmas ( and they were £ stretcher ones lol). I wrapped up old baby toys from DS to give to DD1 when she was little. Both sets of grandparents enjoyed buying clothes for the kids. You have to give up the luxuries and get back to basics.

good luck to op
ali x

duchy

How about suggesting that with the credit crunch the adults don't buy more than a token present and just buy for the kids ?
Personally I do think you're not been realistic -on one hand you're talking about spending on presents -and then you talk about your OH going contract-surely if that's the plan you should be putting the money away as a cushion for the lean months whilst he is establishing himself ? At the moment if he went contracting and a job was cancelled or curtailed at the 11th hour (which can always happen) you'd be unable to meet any of your commitments. Optimism is a good quality-but sometimes you need to protect yourself and be a little bit of a pesimist !

TurnaroundSue

Hi - Please come back onto this thread as I feel you really need all the help, support and advice you can get here. I do feel that straight talking is needed, but also a bit of TLC wouldn't go amiss. I have never been in your position of owing so much money, (I still have had debt though!!:mad: ) but I can imagine it is a scary and lonely place to be and at this time you also need this as well as the hard face facts of it all - that's why they call it tough love.

Anyway, if you would like to buy a token gesture for the adults, why not buy them a £1 lucky dip lottery ticket and you never know they might just win the big one. For Christmas get them the New Year draw!!

I do wish you loads of luck and send you hugs:grouphug: . There has been some excellent advice on here, so please don't go, but stay here and take all the well of knowledge from people on here who have/are in the same position as you.

Take care