Help really Worried we are going to go under!

In_Search_Of_Me

Just popping in...wonder what Mr I thought on reading?! Really hope you can tackle this as a couple...I still think you need to ring cccs or one of the other free debt agencies...just for some advice. While people on here can help wit suggestions I do think your position is a bit precarious and wonder if a DMP would be worh considering...re feeling stupid - youre takig control. When I finally pluked up courage to look at the sums I cried for 2 days...looking back cant believe how I used to spend...38 on body lotion...ridiculous!!

monday_blues

oh me too, clinique counter for moisturiser and make up a couple of times a year. and fake tan appointments at £20-£30 a time.

crazy, I am/was a binge spender, would go without for ages and then go crazy shopping, spending a fortune. In particular with clothes shopping, I think you should buy little and often to keep a wardrobe, although dont know if thats a good DFW comment to make?

monday_blues

Imcognito, think about registering for mystery shopping, I have done this recently as a newbie and have made £100 in a couple of weeks, with very little effort. This is something you can do when expecting, pick and choose which ones you want to do. Every little helps and this could be put towards your debt or something else.

imcognito

monday_blues wrote: »

Imcognito, think about registering for mystery shopping, I have done this recently as a newbie and have made £100 in a couple of weeks, with very little effort. This is something you can do when expecting, pick and choose which ones you want to do. Every little helps and this could be put towards your debt or something else.

Hi Yes!! Sounds like a great idea. Ive looked on the UYI board but cannot find where to register do you have a link???

I have raised the coin jars thismorning and found about £10! woohoo, not sure whether to pay this into bank or use for milk etc for next week?? Might use for milk and stuff as have to pay to park to get to bank grrr

I saw the delivery stuff on UYI too parcelnet, I think? I tried registering butit keeps failing

I could do that around school runs I think tho DS2 may hate being cooped up in car half the day, he does sleep for about 2 hours so could do around that I wonder?

Will see if i can register now.

Thanks

monday_blues

https://www.grassrootsmysteryshopping.com

try that, there are others if you google, i'm looking for recommendations to join any other mystery shopping sites as I feel this is definitely a good way to make some additional money. Any suggestions, please let me know.

Good luck with it, also, Thomsons Local - dont know if you get that in England, but they are paying approx £50-£100 to deliver some books. This is their delivery period now.

CLB70

How are you doing imcognito? Hope everything is ok.

chevalier

My comments are in blue and it will be long sorry.

imcognito wrote: »

Hello!! Im new and worried.

Bit of Background then will post my SOA.

I am a SAHM 2 boys (ahh!) one is in preschool (part funded) the other will be starting in December (he needs the interaction and noise!! - but we will have to pay) I am also pregnant with baby no 3 (a girl we think!) due in January. Congratulations don't forget to use the free prescriptions when you get the card through, and sign up for all the mums and babies clubs again to get the freebies through! If a girl remember that THEY won't notice if things are a bit boyish. Cribs can be repainted a different colour for example, buggies are gender specific etc. And if you start looking now you may find your council or primary care trust does real nappy vouchers, or nappy laundry services...

STEP 1. Get your older boy changed over to free funding. It is carp that they can't change to the new year. He won't remember any little buddies from his current nursery sadly, and it will just mean different toys to play with.

I used to work up until baby no 2 but the cost of 2 in childcare plus my commute to London meant it cost me £140 a day just to go to work, I ended up with nothing so decided it was better for me to stay at home with them. Not that you need to hear this necessarily now, but you also gave up the prospect of a promotion which would have meant it would be worth you working, plus this round of maternity pay. Sorry.

DH works full time and has a great job with great prospects. Great basic salary with opportunity to earn on-call rates of £1000-3000 net on top.

This would be great if you had no debts but you do, so you will need to start seeing the on call rate as debt money and his basic as your living month to month money. Ref the mortgage. I know it is interest only, but you could as

STEP 2 either a) ask to extend the term or b) ask for a payment holiday.


Monthly Income Details


Monthly income after tax................ 2569-6000 You have to think of the 2569 as being the only GUARANTEED income you have. If you can't live on this you have a problem (as you have already surmised). Even if you weren't in a lot of debt, the prospect of more people being employed in January should send alarm bells (luckily they did ring) for you anyway, so you have just over 3 months to save like hell and pay off as much as possible.
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0 You can sign up to (and oh too and you can manage the accounts:D ) various websites to get free money for a bit or work. Eg www.pigsback.com you earn points to sign up to news letters etc. These turn into vouchers, and if you are canny then you don't pay any money for them. Likewise www.quidco.com again a site where you can get cash back for buying things on the web that you would buy anyway. They do a free Experien trial so you can check your credit files for free to see if all of those mortgage applications have caused you a credit score problem. Then there are survey sites like www.lightspeedpanel.com or yougov(pm me and I will give you a referral link, I get 50p for it!), or a whole load of other ones. They all offer rewards for various surveys either money or points. You may not think it is worth doing but I have regularly paid for most of Xmas with vouchers and money from them, as have many others on here.
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 124 (child Benefit) What things can you ebay, what books can you put on www.greenmetropolis.co.uk, what dvd's don't you watch anymore that you can sell on www.play.com or ebay, what clothes don't you wear anymore that you can ebay, either yours OH'S or the boys? Declutter and earn at the same time. You can't afford to have things you don't use tieing up cash in them. If you have old mobile phones you can get money back for them from envirophone (sorry can't remember the whole link). You just have to really inventory what you need to live and what is nice to have. Nice to haves are tieing up money you need to live on!
Total monthly income.................... 2693-6124

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 1386 (Interest Only)
Council tax............................. 125 ask to pay this over 12 months rather than 10, makes budgetting easier.
Electricity............................. 100 (duel Gas & Electric)make sure that all appliances are not left on standby. Also if you hot water comes out scalding then turn the thermostat down on your boiler. No point spending money heating UP water that you then have to cool DOWN to use :rolleyes: . Do you have enough insulation in your loft? If not then it is worth shelling out on this as it will repay you very quickly. What is your heating thermostat set at? If you are walking around in short sleeve shirts etc then turn the thermostat down to 21 degrees and put on a jumper. Turning your heating down will save you about £100 a year. Not to be sniffed at, that is half a weeks food shopping. On the old style board there is a long thread about getting ready for winter, doing things like lining curtains with thermal material or even blankets, to keep in more heat, and making up sausage dogs to stop drafts under doors etc.

Also it is worth checking that a) are you in credit at that price (and if so then deciding whether to leave the dd as it is or to lower it).
Water rates............................. 48 (were not charged for 1st year here so paying extra to cover) Always worth checking whether you have paid this off yet or not. Do you have hippos in your toilet cisterns to save water? You can get them free from your water board. And obviously you would know about doing full loads in the washing machine/dishwasher to save on the water used.
Telephone (land line)...................11.99
Mobile phone............................ 45 (2 Phones 1 on lowest contract DH cant change till Feb 09) But he can still ask to go onto the lowest contract, if you don't ask you don't get.
TV Licence.............................. 11
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 48 (sky sports! Have asked Dh to get rid
) I am assuming that since the start of this thread this has now gone?:D Freeview still has cbeebies on it so there is still something for littleones to watch.
Internet Services....................... 0 sorry why is this 0?
Groceries etc. ......................... 200 (for 4 soon to be 5 Needs to include Nappies!!!! Struggling wit this!) Sorry but I don't believe this figure, especially with your comment about popping out for milk etc. So first off meal plan, and by the way we all eat the same in our house, childrens portions of what we eat, not prepared stuff etc. They will soon get used to it. Also you can't afford to be label SNOBS. And this doesn't just mean buying the cheapest in Asda, it also means buying your food in Lidl or Aldi, often the quality is at least as good but the price is cheaper, because they don't shell out on pretty stores, that you then pay for in higher prices. Also don't forget your local market. I could still get two full shopping bags full of fruit and veg for about a tenner even after all the petrol driven food rises. Saved me an absolute fortune a month. I won't bother to tell you about pureeing food for baby when she gets to that age, to save you money on baby food, cos you will have done that with the previous two right?
Clothing................................ 50 One of the tips I got given was to hang up all yours and OH clothes and then really look at what you have. By really SEEING what you have in your wardrobes, you should be able to go without buying ANYTHING for the adults for a while, even allowing for you getting bigger as your pregnancy continues. Yes children need clothes, but they don't HAVE to be new. I got fab bundles of clothes off Ebay. I would buy the mixed bundles as most people don't want them. Anything that didn't fit the boys then and there, got put away for later. It has meant that I have my older boys next year wardrobe for about £50 and this is brand names like Next, Gap Quicksilver, as well as Mothercare etc. Some of them were even new, but most were still in excellent condition. You have to ask yourself what is more important - NEW CLOTHES or HOUSE? Sorry if this is harsh, but if you are careful you could save maybe £500 out of the £500 you have budgetting here.
Petrol/diesel........................... 400 (Dh gets thru a tank a week £80 for him I use a tank a month) Can DH park say 10 minutes away from work and save money that way on petrol? Any chance that he can get petrol used for ON call work paid by company.
Road tax................................ 20 Don't think this is enough for two cars?
Car Insurance........................... 28 (only mine at moment DH paid in full at beginning yes but you still have to budget for this too.
)Car maintenance (including MOT).........20 (due to milage DH does car needs service 2 x a year!) Are there any journeys that you can do without using the car. Needs must and all that.

Childcare/nursery.......................124 (currently for DS1, part funded) when I send DS2 in Dec will add an extra £168 to that) See above.
Other child related expenses............ 0 no clubs, activities of any sort?
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc)....0 none of you are EVER ill, or need a filling?
Pet insurance/vet bills................5
Buildings insurance.....................15 don't forget to get cashback for this when you renew it next.
Contents insurance......................
Life assurance ......................... REALLY Need this tho! what for to pay back the mortgage if one of you pass away? Have a look at term assurance article on the main site.
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 15
Haircuts................................ 30 (only boys and DH Mum treats me usually!)
Entertainment........................... 0 Do you really pay out nothing on this, not the occasion whacky wharehouse visit, or going to mc donalds etc?
Holiday................................. 0E
mergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 2681.99

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross).....................235000 (bought for 242000 am guessing its gone down tho!)
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 12000 (2 cars guesses!)you definitely need to check the finance regarding this. If you could raise this by selling the cars, and then spent half of it on buying two cars outright, then that is 6k to pay off your debts right there.
Total Assets............................ 247000

Secured Debts

Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
Mortgage...................... 230000...(1386).....7.9
Total secured debts........... 230000....-.........-


Unsecured Debts SCARY
Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR

Loan 1 Dh's name ........25000......532.....7.7
Credit Card ............4000.....90.....Currently 0 but will raise to 14 (AA?)
Credit Card ............6000....120.....17.9 (Egg)
Egg Loan............3800 (remaining) 174 .... 7.9
Car Finance ........4000...........132.....4.5
Car Finance 2 .......8000.........254......4.5
Overdraft......................4800......(this is my old bank account no longer used the child benefit money gets paid in here to try and clear it!!) but is it actually clearing any of it, if they are charging you interest is it actually going down?

Total unsecured debts.........55600..... 1426

So the minimum money you need as it stands at the moment is £2681.99 + £1426 = £4107.99 for you just to cover things as they are. So as you know on the good months you can cover this, but where is the other £2000 going on the £6k months? Also you mentioned your OH getting a better job that would pay £60k and someone replied that this would be £3600 or something a month? So you would still be over each month hence the need to drastically cut your spending on everything. BUT if you got a job and he was doing this fixed hours better paying job, then that would be a whole different ball game, you could work such that you need no extra child care, ie you work nights.

OK I know that this will be very difficult with a new born, BUT it is something to plan into your medium term future. Ie brushing up on skills now etc.

Front up to your family and explain that you are only buying for children this year as you can't afford it.


DH thinks tat until the end of this year he "should" be fine and get £3500 net a month. But come January it can all change (new hires less on call etc) he is polishing up his CV and looking at contracting, but thats a HUGE step tho there is the possibilty of earning up to £600 a day doign that. But only if there is not likely to be a contraction of his industry due to the financial crisis in the country. Also contractors have to do the tax/national insurance out of those high wages, and it is high risk because contractors are usually the first out of the door if a company has to shed costs.

I have said to give till end of year and see how things are but am worried things will fall apart losing out home new baby boys losing out on school etc etc etc.. But you can start prepareing NOW to cushion the blow as much as possible.

Oh and cars - yes unfortunately we need 2 he works an hour away so I cannot drop him off and I cannot do school run without it. (Walking its 1.5 round trip! Im pregnant buggy a 3 year old!) Can you get your children to a closer school so you can walk? It would be a huge saving for you if you could give up the car. Also what about your OH asking if he can work from home? I would save you on petrol costs....

HELP! Worried me

X

The boys will be fine. Ignore the whining. If he wants to go out, then that is what the back garden if for:D .

Again sorry for the long post, you are in a very hard place, and the choices you will HAVE to make are also very hard.

Personally I would go to a debt management charity like Payplan or CCCS and see about a DMP using just your OH basic, plus a bit of the bonus as the income part of it. Good luck
chev

moanymoany

Chevalier and Hypno have given you the roadmap for recovery.

You have to forget the old way of life. Dh sounds as though his light bulb moment is only a glimmer - this has to change because this is something you have to do together - that's how you got there and that's how you will get out.

Go over to Old Style. Also, look at the woman who lived on £1 a day - not saying it's the way for you, but it has some good tips in there. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1052710/How-cash-strapped-teacher-beat-credit-crunch-living-1-day-YEAR-drunken-bet.html

If the will is there, you will do it.

Your situation is serious enough to move children to nearest schools. Get rid of one car and do the shopping using the one car while dh looks after the children. The idea of a car to ferry the children is a new one and for more years women walked their children to school, including when they are pregnant.

Contact your local council and county council to find out if they give nappy help. West Sussex County Council give £100 worth of cloth nappies and accessories.

You should not need any new baby clothes as this is number three. Chevalier's advice re your and children's clothes is the way to go.

I know people worry about 'cheap' food on their childrens health. My grandmother brought her family up in the 1930's. She was a widow and her income was tiny. My mum and two aunties were brought up on bread, potatoes, basic vegetables and a little meat - usually offal or cheap stewing meat. Not for them 5 portions a day, sweets or ready meals. They had one present at Christmas, walked everywhere and wore hand-me-down clothes and shoes, no television and until my mum was 14 no radio. They grew up with no central heating and no health service.

My mum and one aunty lived well into their eighties and my other aunty is still going at nearly ninety.

Old style will give you meal plans and recipes for food that costs pennies. If you just give the food to your children with no fuss they eat it or they don't. Just remember - hunger is the best sauce. It will do them no harm and they will learn valuable life lessons.

vincent81_2

i really hope things work out...i'm not great at financial stuff but have my fingers crossed for you!

lucielle

Some good advice. We are in it for the long haul and just about keeping our heads above the water.
L