Who do you blame?

Glitzer

Another one here for myself and my DH. We've both spent the last couple of years just paying absolute minimum payments and ranking up overdrafts, just because they were given to us (so in that respect I kind of blame the banks but again, they didn't force us to spend the money).

However, thanks to finally getting a laptop for Christmas (of my very generous family) I have completed the anaylsis on CCCS (thanks to this site!) and have sent them an email requesting some help.

No doubt the first very small step of what's going to be a very very difficult journey which I've been putting off for what feels like months and months and months.

buxtonrabbitgreen

If the bank had not insited I needed a credit card to use when I visited my ds abroad I would never have got one. I had managed perfectly well without one for 45 years. But I blame myself for using it. I just wish I hadn't got one in the first place. Then several years of oh being in and out of work has not helped matters.
I now owe£4000 on 3 credit cards. Getting life of balances to pay them off and then spending again. I am getting a lot better now though.

Damita

Myself but I do blame my bank for offering me a credit card when I was 18, I couldn't afford it! And all I had to do was sign!

thechippy

I am genuinly impressed by those of you that have stood up to be counted, made no excuses and blamed yourselves - I take my hat off to you and wish you all the very best of luck.

I'm now getting worried myself! I have debts of around £30k, but they were genuinly caused by circumstances which were largely out of my control - a failed business venture due to an uncontrollable business partner. Not from holidays, cars, plasma tv's etc.
I've been servicing the debts without default for 3 years now, but due to the current economic climate, my work has slowed down terribly over the last few weeks. We fortunately have enough tucked away to last a couple of months, but if work does not pick up(I'm self employed) we could be in trouble fast!

PinkTwirl

I blame coming out of an abusive relationship, having no friends around me because I moved 100 miles to live with him and then mixing with spongers as opposed to being on my own after the relationship.

I was unhappy, but I look back now and realise I was severely depressed and lonely., I tried anti-depressants and counselling but again they couldn't take away the root cause that I was lonely but it did cost me £30 a counselling session. Buying things gave me a reason to get out of the house. Sad isn't it when that is the only pastimes outside work on offer (more or less).

I was just thinking about this over the past week. All debt occurs due to circumstances of some sort e.g. not paid enough to meet basic bills, depression, loneliness, wanting things now that aren't necessary. It can be a spiral that sucks you in and once you're in, might as well go down. Now I've moved again nearer people that actually give a stuff if I live or die, I have paid off £8K.

I plan to hopefully be clear in 2 years time, job market permitting!

moongarden

meerkat2007 wrote: »

would I have signed them, had I received a proper education in personal finance and the implications of debt?

I blame myself as I ought to have had enough sense to think through the implications. That said, had I been taught about the implications either at school or by my parents maybe I would have only tried credit once and then realised that the teachers/parents were right.

Also University got me good - up to the mid ninties there were still grants available and now we are starting to return to that situation but for those of us who went to uni between 1995 and 2005 we have the biggest debts of all - £14k all said and done and no help from anyone.

Given the population demographic things are going to get mightily expensive for those of us in our 30s anf 40s as the baby boomers start to retire and given the pensions crisis.

justruth

Me, there were other factors that I used at the time to justify the spending to myself, but at the end of the day it was always me that allowed more to go out than I had coming in, and now I am playing catch up.

Lelc

The ultimate responsibility for the situation I got myself into is mine. In my opinion I believe that the financial institutions act irresponsibly and, to some extent, prey on those who are most vulnerable by offering a way out of their situation without giving enough advice on the pitfalls. Let's face it they are out to make money and their sales people have targets just like any other sales person.

But I accepted the money and signed the papers and then continued to spend on my c/cards so I can't really blame anyone else.

I hope that my children are more savvy but the pressure on them to borrow is enormous and they are bombarded daily with offers of easy money. Fortunately, so far, they have heeded my advice and steered clear of spending more than they can afford.

biglad

its all my fault, i was the one who applied for the money, although did get a £11k limit on egg card when at the time i had no job lol

i gambled, bought loads of clothes and other stuff, i wasted it all and regretted every day since my lbm

PinkTwirl

thechippy wrote: »

I am genuinly impressed by those of you that have stood up to be counted, made no excuses and blamed yourselves - I take my hat off to you and wish you all the very best of luck.

I'm wondering if the purpose of this thread is turning into people beating themselves up? It seemed to start off as a genuine question. Now people are talking about fault and blame and beating themselves up, that doesn't do anyone any good.

I'm not going to "blame" myself. I wasn't well and I'm still not well, in fact I'm close to packing it all in as I don't see the point anymore.