Who do you blame?

spam.jam

tax credits - blatent day-light robbery

meerkat2007

The bottom line is, I signed the credit agreements.

However, would I have signed them, had I received a proper education in personal finance and the implications of debt? I don't know the answer to that one, but possibly one answer is that I wouldn't have signed as many!

Also, I do recall having a loan application turned down back in the 80s/maybe early 90s, so maybe the lending institutions should have been doing more of that as well?

Oh, and how could I forget the 7 months of being gloriously unemployed, then finding a job that paid about two-thirds of the salary I had been on prior to being unemployed?

As for why I got into debt initially ... that was trying to be a good daughter and buy things for my mother that my dad wouldn't/couldn't buy, as I wanted her to be happy. She encouraged me to get into debt in advance of receiving an inheritance of a couple of thousand, and then, instead of paying off the debt when I received the inheritance, she encouraged me to blow it on a cruise! Looking back, I can see quite easily that my mother had/has no sense whatsoever when it comes to money management. And that was before she started getting forgetful.

If I could go back to that naive little girl (me) who was about to take on that first debt - an £800 overdraft - I'd slap her silly before I'd let her sign on the dotted line!

BartGirl

I blame myself entirely.

However - the level of naivety and ignorance caused by a 'lack of education' regarding money management certainly did not help.

Who could i blame for that ? I suppose in a way my parents.. just 'the basics' would have been really useful. Even th concept of 'saving' to get something you like..i didnt have. My approach was always..have the cash? spend-spend-spend...

bathgatebuyer

Me mostly, but I would also add to that the complete git at one of the places I worked out who kicked up such a stink about the firm taking on someone with more experience than he had and having a chip on his shoulder about it.

Ended up with him putting his arm across my neck in the store room, telling me he would be the next effing associate in that office and when I told my boss, my boss said, "It's obviously not going to work out for you here". So, that was me, unemployed for months after that and all my financial planning straight out the window! No witnesses so little I could do about it but look for a new job with an awkward situation on my CV.

I did get my own back on him in ways that I will not dare put down on here!!! (Hellish satisfying it was too!)

What it did teach me is not to take anything for granted - house, job, or the decency of other people. It's taken about 3 or 4 years to the point I'm at now which is something like what I would call normality. I have 10% of the debts I used to have, I have a 'fair' credit rating, I've just qualified for a 0% balance transfer on a new card which will save me about £350 as I pay off the remainder of my credit card debt. It's been a long hard slog just to feel even vaguely comfortable about money again.

My fault in that I did not have a safety net of savings at all, but being in a new job where I was assaulted and unable to much about it meant that my PPI cover was useless (as I hadn't been in that job long enough to qualify for their protection) and it meant that I was unable to pay my mortgage or car loan for months as a result.

I did learn that I'm a resiliant little thing and that when others may try and knock me, I have one hell of a reserve of grit, determination and sheer bloody mindedness to get my life back on track (and get revenge!)

Mudbath

I blame myself and my DH. We wanted more than we could afford. No excuses. We've finally sorted ourselves out. We'll have cleared the interest free credit card by February. We're getting a ten year fixed mortgage when we find the best deal so we know what money we've got left for the rest of the term. We've created a budget that includes some emergency / savings. It WILL NOT happen again thanks to this site xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Me!

its all me!

there is no excuse I was a greedy spolit "i deserve it" kinda girl

and now I am how can I get it cheaper! if at all kinda girl

.......debt Free in 2009
xxx

1_step_closer

This is a really good question which made me think a lot. I too, signed everything but add to that periods of hubby being unemployed, depression and having to use credit to live.

However I was always frightened of debt as my parents made it out to be the worse thing in the world, so I would never buy anything "big" always lots of smaller things, if that makes sense. and I bought things for people thinking it would make me popular, which of course it didnt, just a bigger doormat!

Now I am going through an IVA which many people here would disagree with. However it s my choice and for once in my life I feel a lot more in control. I am hoping to be accepted and yes the next few years will be a struggle but at least I have actual cash in my pocket and that dread is no longer at the front of my mind as a continual headache.

I do feel that finances should be covered more at school and I hope that my SD never gets into this situation................but also that when we say "sorry but I cant afford that right now" I am not made to feel guilty or even more of a loser because I cant!

1 step

Tiggypig

Bloomin' good thread

I will always say instantly when someone discovers my situation that it was totally my fault as like many of the posts on here say, no-one forced me to sign up for that credit card/store card/consolidation loan.

However, there are so many other factors as I acquired more debt. Probably all very similar to lots of people on here. My job was making me stressed, so much so I had to have counselling, a couple of rather extravagant holidays (one of my credit cards was totally maxed out by £2500 for this purpose), the person I was with always felt like they had to put on a front and therefore the credit went on living expenses and "nice things" for our apartment and then ultimately as everything started to go downhill, I started to spend completely unnecessary amounts on clothes and make up to try and make myself feel more attractive..............the list goes on really.

Luckily, through all this I definitely had a LBM and I am out of that job and that apartment. Slight downside is I have had to move back home but I'm hoping it will bring me enough sanity to be able to deal with everything. I have posted elsewhere but my situation is that I'm trying to sort out my debt with a DMP but unfortunately it looks like I will be made redundant at the end of Feb '09 and there is a distinct possibility I will have to make myself bankrupt. Here's hoping everything starts to improve from then.:D

milliemonster

I very much blame myself, however do feel I was heavily influenced by living on credit being viewed as the 'norm' over the last decade or so and it being thrown at you wherever you go, it started off simply by buying a sofa from DFS, why use up our savings when we can pay £10 a month interest free for the next 3 years?, then moved onto other things and along with some bad financial advice encouraging us to get secured loans to consolidate when we were in a pickle, we arrive at where I am today.

My hubby isn't really to blame for our joint debt as he would never get anything on credit but then let me just do what I want so the debts just ballooned, but I am determined to pay them back, it just annoys me that they start massively increasing your APR's (when you always overpay and have never had any CCJ's/defaults etc to warrant it)

The last 6 months has shown me just what we can achieve when we budget and work hard, and it has also shown me that consolidation is not the answer, going through this process of learning to budget and live within your means is the only way you will become debtfree and stay that way

poppy_f1

i blame myself
i think back to when i was younger and getting into debt with nothing to show for it - just wasted a lot of money on crap