I feel terrible. I've totally screwed up my life.

thefatboy

I'm bad with money.

I always have been and I seem to be getting worse.

A few years ago, I spiralled into debt and had to seek my parents help to pay it off.

18 months after that, I was at the top of the slippery slope again and increased my mortgage to clear the debt.

I seemed to be on top of my life for a while, managing my money well.

In the last few months however, I seem to have totally screwed everything up. I can't pinpoint any one particular moment, but I've gone from paying everything off a bit each month to being 2 months in arrears on a Mint card.

Last week I spoke to a guy from Mint and told him I would be in a position to pay the arrears within a fortnight. Today I received a default notice.

Frankly, I'm scared witless. I don't know what to do. I haven't even told my wife about the extent of the debt.

The problem is, I know it's only going to get much worse. Not only am I currently having difficulty paying Mint, but I have four other credit cards that I'm on on the limit of.

I can't go to my parents again.

I'm totally depressed and my situation is seeming hopeless.

Magentasue

Nothing's hopeless. If you want to sort this out, you can. Loads of people on here will help. You need to post figures - income, outgoings (detailed down to the last sandwich), debts with totals, APRs, monthly repayments etc.

You've made a start - that's great - now go for it!

Shawz

Hi :hello:

Don't worry there are people on here who will be able to help you.

You will get through this.

Take care,
Shawz

trademark

hi mate .... the usual course of action is to post all of your debts on this thread .... you will be helped i can assure you ...

be 100% honest and let the real experts on here help you , include everything ... and i mean everything ...

it will not be me im afraid as im not thay experienced with debt ... good luck

keith_lard

I felt the same as you!..........you aint alone!

Post what debts you have lots of people here to give you sound advice!

I went with CCCS to get DEBT FREE, and its working!

You need good sound advice, no matter what your situation......



Keep posting and let this Forum do its magic for you!


Regards

K.

southernscouser

Hi fatboy and welcome to MSE. :hello:

First and foremost even without seeing a SAO (state of affairs) it is clear you are living beyond your means. Basically spending more than you have. This is why it's importnant to come clean to your OH. There is no point you sticking to a budget and trying to manage your debts if your OH is spending what she believes she can, which you don't in fact have!

Take a look at this thread then post back here with all the requested information.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280

Then we will be able to advise you as best as possible.

SS

exessexmum

Hi fatboy and welcome. I'm only a newbie here too but people are really helpful, and I think the best thing is that everyone's been there, no-one (well nearly no-one) will say "Oh you stupid !!!!!!, fancy getting into debt" As others have said you have come on here, that's the first step, now you need to take your head out of your bum/the sand/wherever its been up to now and work out how much you owe, to whom and at what rate. List it here and you will then get some cracking advice. It can only get better from now on.

Take care
Tracey x

chilli_dog

HI Fatboy,

You are not alone and you have taken the first step to sorting things out.

Post all of your details and lets see were we can help you make some savings and were we can advise you of your debt's.
Im not being nosey but is their any reason you can't tell your wife? If she knows about it then maybee she can help to?

Post back.

Martin

Tam

Hi Fatboy,

Don't be down, you've had your lightbulb moment so now you need to post your income and outgoings and let the gang help. You're not alone and we're really good listeners here!

Perhaps now that you've faced your demons it's time to tell your wife - she'll probably be a real tower of strength and give you the support you need to get through this.

Best of luck and whatever you do keep posting.

Tam

homersimpson_3

first of all don't be afraid to post your incomings and outgoings on the forum- no one knows you are and all you will get is support- that's the point of the forum. you managed your money well once and you can do it again. the vast majority on this forum are in debt- credit cards, overdrafts, mortgages (yes mortgages are debt)- so everyone is in the same boat. everyday i think i have cut my expenses to the bone and even today after reading another post in another forum i came up with another possible way of reducing them further and making more money. the point is- there's always someone on this site who has a potential answer to any question raised. if you don't believe me, do a search on the posts i have started and the responses i have received.

AndrewSmith

Hi Fatboy,

Firstly I would like to say that it does take guts to admit to yourself that things are not good. That is half the battle and it will get easier once you have overcome the next major hurdle.

Before anyone will be able to help you further you simply MUST sit your other half down and tell her. Don't put it off as it will be worse the longer you leave it. Things will seem much better once you have her onside and have someone close to you who you can turn to for emotional support. Very few couples fall out because they are having financial problems, they do fall out however if one of them is hiding something. (as a divorcee I have had personal experience of this, so yes I do know what I am talking about).

You need to tackle this together, it will not seem half as bad this way.

Then you both need to sit down and list all your income against expenses. Decide together which are essentials and which are not, then implement it.

Contact all your credit card companies and be honest with them. Ask them for help and you will be very surprised at how willing they will be to assist you.

The default notice cannot be changed or removed. Learn from it and do something about the others before you get other defaults. One will not have too much of an effect on your creditworthyness for things like a mortgage but will affect you getting loans or other credit cards. Consider it a blessing in disguise. After 6 years it will drop off your file.

There is no magic formula for solving debt, just application of some hard discipline and common sense.

Come back here for further help, we will all do whatever we can.

Hope this helps

Andy