I feel terrible. I've totally screwed up my life.

thefatboy

Thanks for all the support and advice.

I will make a list of incoming/outgoing expenditure and post it tomorrow.

I'm feeling a little bit better about things now - I'll feel lots better when I get a plan of action to get myself out of this mess.

Sofa_Sogood

thefatboy wrote:

I'll feel lots better when I get a plan of action to get myself out of this mess.

You'll feel a lot better when the posters on here get started with their help too.

Keep your chin up

youngandreckless

As someone who has been in and out of a debt mess several times and that has had it sorted to lose it again I totally understand.
At the end of the day it can only get better now you've faced it and you'll be so glad you've posted all your debt details when you see how many people can and will help and its all free! I'm amazed at the time people on this board put into helping out others. Good luck and keep posting x

ben500

Hi Fatboy

Your on the road to the mend by coming here, one of the first things you need to consider though is to come clean with your partner because without her help your efforts are doomed to failure and the longer you keep her in the dark the more likely she is to resent it, yes she will feel hurt that you have kept secrets and concerns from her at first but if you have a good relationship it won't be long before she can help you, you need to sit down and go through your finances carefully and post all your outgoings and income and like posted above in order for people to help they do need to know ALL the financial details, if you need reassurance just look around the boards to see many people with their debt reduction progress clearly indicated in their signatures, I wish you every success in your endeavours, chin up.

Take a look here to start saving on your shopping

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=92216

and here to put your knowledge to use

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=92214

Getting your shopping free has got to be at least a £50 saving to start you off.

System

Hi and welcome to the forum

I think a situation that you do nothing about will always seem hopeless - I felt similar before I started sorting my own debts out. Once you start to get your own problems sorted you'll feel alot better. Just knowing the worst that could happen would i imagine put you more at ease.

With unsecured debts such as credit card debts, generally the worst that can happen is that your creditors will take you to court and a judge will make a decision as to how much you have to pay each month. But that's usually the last resort if you ignore the problem, and quite a way off.

Give the CCCS a call (link at top of the page) and set the ball rolling. They'll guide you thru everything you need to do to sort yourself out.

Re your MINT default notice - to be frank, this could actually be a blessing in disguise. By your own admission, you're hopeless with money, so the last thing you should have are credit cards. The default notice will make it more difficult (but not impossible) for you to get credit. 6 years down the line, you'll hopefully have learnt alot of practical lessons from sorting your finances out, and should then be able to approach credit more responsibly.

As for telling your wife, she'll surely find out eventually and better to tell her than have her discover it by accident.

Best wishes
Dave

Sofa_Sogood

bham-dave wrote:

As for telling your wife, she'll surely find out eventually and better to tell her than have her discover it by accident.

Not all wives are ogres btw , but great post. A problem shared etc ....

System

Sofa_Sogood wrote:

Not all wives are ogres btw , but great post. A problem shared etc ....

I'll believe you!

Seriously, having someone to help you thru all this will be invaluable.

Sofa_Sogood

bham-dave wrote:

I'll believe you!

Seriously, having someone to help you thru all this will be invaluable.

You should My husband had CCJ's against his name that ran into double figures, and all accumulated whilst we were married - but all business related.

I'd no idea, but I didn't throw a wobbler, just found a good debt-collector so that he was paid his monies owed - by other companies.

Women, imho, have more forgiving natures, and with a bit of luck, the OP will realise it, and take notice of all the help that's being offered - as always

black-saturn

Hi there and welcome. Almost everyone on this part of the board has been in debt and worried about it at some point. They are the best ones to advise you, so you have come to the right place.

To find out where your spending is going wrong and why you can't make ends meet we need a list of your incomings and outgoings. Then we can do our best to advise you in areas where you could make savings to go towards paying your debt off. Good luck!!

Thefunkygibbons

The board can move pretty fast so get working on that statement of affairs otherwise we will chase you for it tomorrow.

BTW: Everything you need and the the laguage to use when speaking to the OH is in your first post